Funny phrases taken out of context

[Artman]

I was reading one of the other posts and just got to thinking, what would happen if we had a post of funny phrases taken out of context?

So we need some rules:

Don't try and set up or explain the phrase

Try to keep other comments to a minimum (I've found it's impossible to cut them out completely).

Other than that all I have to say is:

"He has a wife, you know."

 

[arildno]

"Double charge??!"

 

[Artman]

"They're on Double Secret Probation"

 

[arildno]

"I say: This is NOT funny!"

 

[Artman]

"Do birds eat beans to fly faster?"

(by the way comics, literary sources, etc. are okay too)

 

[Chi Meson]

"I heard the jury's still out on science."

 

[Artman]

Is it twue what they say about how you people are...gifted?

 

[Artman]

"Emanuel Kant was a real piss-ant. who was very rarely stable,"

 

[arildno]

Heidegger, Heidegger was a woozy beggar who could drink you under the table (oops, that wasn't out of context, was it?)

 

[Artman]

Heidegger, Heidegger was a woozy beggar who could drink you under the table (oops, that wasn't out of context, was it?)

"Oh, it's twue. It's twue, it's twue!"

 

[berkeman]

"It's a completely different kind of flying, altogether."

"It's a completely different kind of flying."

 

[Artman]

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

 

[arildno]

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

Yes please!

 

[LURCH]

I can't leave her behind alone!

 

[Artman]

"Meanwhile, back at the farm, Grandma was beating off the indians."

 

[turbo]

"No matter where you go, there you are"

 

[Evo]

"Meanwhile, back at the farm, Grandma was beating off the indians."

I just spewed coffee all over my work monitor.

 

[arildno]

"Remember this, Peregrin, when in doubt, always follow your nose".

 

[Artman]

I just spewed coffee all over my work monitor.

"Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency."

 

[turbo]

"Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."

 

[Artman]

"If you ever had to climb a water tower ladder with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor, you're probably a redneck."

 

[Pythagorean]

classic/generic:

"Put it in the hole, Stewart!"

"Can I rub one off?"

 

[Artman]

"By Grapthar's Hammer ... by the sons of Worvahn, you will be Avenged!"

 

[turbo]

"So I got that going for me, which is nice."

 

[Artman]

"That's your plan? Run!?"

 

[Chi Meson]

"We're in the middle of space. Corner of 'no' and 'where'."

 

[turbo]

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

 

[Office_Shredder]

Damnit! I know the perfect story to get a quote from, but it's in a book across an ocean.

I'm making a house rule that this thread can't die until December 4th

 

[larkspur]

Office talk taken out of context

From http://www.pagetutor.com/jokebreak/100.html".com

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
5. Hmmmmm...I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!

 

[rcgldr]

Racing aimlessly, getting nowhere fast.

 

[edward]

If smytoms persist see your doctor.

 

[Artman]

larkspur, I like the office phrases out of context.

"It's m...m...my stappla."

 

[Artman]

"Why, you crazy - the fall'll probably kill ya!"

 

[GeoMike]

"Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?"

-GeoMike-

 

[Artman]

"Norman...you old poop!"

 

[Andre]

"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon"

 

[Artman]

"Well, Stephen... the bird's flightless?"..."It's not going anywhere."

 

[turbo]

Are we awake?
We're not sure. Are we black?
Yes, we are.
Then we're awake, but very puzzled.

 

[Yonoz]

Jackson's boob actually harmed anybody

 

[Artman]

"Phone call for Mike hunt. Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?"

 

[berkeman]

"Phone call for Mike hunt. Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?"

No lie, we had a guy who got hired on to my work named Mike Hunt. We all did our best to rename him Michael Hunt, but it did not always work.

 

[hypatia]

There is no sign of intelligent life here.

 

[BobG]

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

 

[arildno]

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

Is it wollie woolram you are talking about now?
https://www.physicsforums.com/showpost.php?p=710500&postcount=680

 

[Chi Meson]

"Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?"

-GeoMike-

"He said some things African-Americany wasn't ready to hear either."

 

[Artman]

"Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have to, but make sure we do, just in case we don't."

 

[Pythagorean]

Ooh, here's one I thought up especially for PF:


"Don't worry, I use latex"

 

[Artman]

"I got it...I got it...I got it...I don't got it."

 

[Chi Meson]

"I got it...I got it...I got it...I don't got it."

"That kid gets no tip!"

 

[Artman]

"With a thing like that in his back, in the long run, he's better off."