A.T. said:
The clock rates don't depend on the local strength of gravity, but their relative positions along gravity. Even when both clocks experience the same gravity strength, the lower will tick slower.
To me, the simplest way to understand the geometric relationship is given in the link in post #6.
I like those diagrams as well. My observation though is they're only helpful to those interested readers who can draw and understand a space-time diagram. Unfortunately, I see a lot of resistance in getting readers to draw and understanding space-time diagrams, and it seems to be difficult to write useful words about it, words that are simpler than the diagrams. I do help feeling that there should be some words that are needed/helpful, because I'[ve seen my share of diagrams that I scratch my head looking at wondering what they are diagram of, exactly. But I'm still not sure what words are helpful in getting across the concept needed for a space-time diagram. It's not terribly hard, or shouldn't be. It's just a graph of position versus time, really. But it seems to be a stumbling block, and I am not sure if there is a way around it.
It's also not quite answering the OP's question directly, though it's definitely worth pointing out that there is a "better approach". One can hope the reader will appreciate that the approach is better, but sometimes they don't, or are interested in exploring their own ideas and want to see how they play out. Sometimes - almost always - it's useful to have multiple ways of understanding something.
So - It's not totally clear what the direct answer to the question is, but I'm leaning towards the following. If one has a static / stationary space-time (one whose geometry is "the same" as time progresses), and it's not rotating, I think the explanation works reasonably well for what it does. As we've remarked, it only focuses on those aspects of gravity that are modeled as a force. It's worth pointing out that this is not all of gravity.
Note that I don't have a mathematical proof of this answer, nor a textbook reference - so take it with a grain or two of salt, please. My basic thinking though is that if you have a stationary space-time, one can define a potential, and the gradient of that potential is the force, and in this case I believe it's related to "time dilation". Some specific examples that meet this criterion - Rindler space-time (which is flat space-times of "Einstein's elevator") and the Schwarzschild space-time.
I can see some definite issues in rotating space-times. It is assumed (at least in my interpretation of answering the question) that one can synchronize clocks that are "at rest", but this turns out not to be possible in rotating space-times if one uses the Einstein definition of synchronization. Perhaps the OP is using some different definition of synchronization, in which case we'd need a whole set of posts to straighten out just what we're both talking about so we're all talking about the same thing. A practical example of a "rotating space-time" - the Kerr space-time of a rotating black hole.
As far as the argument about space time being stationary (unchanging). The operational procedure given for determining "time dilation" relies on the geometry of space-time not changing. If the space-time geometry is evolving, it's a lot less clear how one can even define "time dilation" in the sense that the OP wants to define it. Basically one has to ask "what is the time dilation NOW". But we run again into the issue about a shared understanding of clock synchronization.