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How did I handle this situation?

  1. Mar 27, 2010 #1
    So last night me and my girlfriend went to a college party. The atmosphere was basically one like a club. Anyway, we were bumping and grinding on the dance-floor. There was a guy, who was seemingly drunk, that kept walking around staring at some of the girls dancing, trying to talk to a couple of them once in a while. He kept getting blown off. Anyway, about two or three times, he walked past my girlfriend while I was dancing with her from behind. Because this is a club, the room is tight and so he is right up in there, close to her face, and he's just basically just staring at her. I didn't want to start a fight over this, so I kept dancing. After he did it a couple more times, I said to my girlfriend, "that guy's creepy" and we both kind of laughed. After he did it another time, I turned my girlfriend around, so my back was to the guy. He walked by me, we both were staring at eachother, he smiled then walked away and then buggered off for the rest of the night.

    Anyway, fast forward a bit. We're still dancing in the same spot, bumpin' and grindin' with me behind her. There's a guy right in front of her dancing with another chick, and this guy is looking over at her, trying to give her seductive looks and smiling a bit. He does this a couple times, then looks up at me and sees me staring at him. We both shake hands, he gives one last look, then buggers off.

    At the end of the night, I asked her if anything was bothering her, because she didn't seem herself. She was told me that while we were dancing there were a bunch of guys staring at her, and it made her really uncomfortable. I told her I didn't see these guys staring (I really didn't see them?) and next time she needs to let me know if someone is making her uncomfortable.

    My question to you guys is, did I handle these situations well? I didn't want to throw a temper tantrum about these guys doing this, nor did I just want to sit back and watch it happen.

    Also, me and my girl are going to her girlfriend's birthday party on April 2nd and her girlfriend's house, so any advice you guys give me for handling these type of situations, I can practice there.

    Any advice? Thanks.

    EDIT: If it's relevant, we've been together for 4 months.
  2. jcsd
  3. Mar 27, 2010 #2


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    It sounds like you were quite the gent, to be honest!

    Well, obviously it sucks that she felt uncomfortable but, at least in my opinion, if you're a girl dancing in a club, you've got to expect to be looked at! Since you noticed a few of these guys it's clear that you are not oblivious to the fact that people were staring. It could just be that your level of differentiation between "guys being guys" and "creeps staring" is different to hers. If this is the case, then your suggestion for her to tell you when she's uncomfortable is a good one. However, if it gets to the point where she's uncomfortable with any guy watching/looking at her, then perhaps you should start attending more intimate parties, or stop dancing!

    Ultimately, though, I can't really give any good advice, since I wasn't there!
  4. Mar 27, 2010 #3
    Seems to me you handled it perfectly.

    Continue to not be insecure about other guys around your girl. If they get too fresh she will let you know. Other guys will challenge your confidence in front of her. Be cordial, keep your cool, and it will show your confidence.

    Don't be jealous or angry and act like a chump if you see her talking with other guys either. Trust shows the most confidence. Hopefully your girl is trustworthy, but if she isn't then the guy that wants her is doing you a favor by taking her off your hands.
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