I'm a freshman, will you be my friend?

[Topher925]

In light of Tribdogs post, I was reminded how incoming college freshman crack me up.

Its the Fall semester again which means plenty of new incoming college freshman. Now is it just me, or does every single college freshman out there want to be your friend? Sometimes I'll just be standing inline at the book store or eating lunch and they will come up to me, introduce themselves, I'll do the same, and then they will just stair at me like a deer in the headlights hoping I will say something to start a conversation. Instead, I just kinda look at them puzzled as I am expecting them to justify the reason for disturbing me, yet I know what they want. I was a freshman too once, but I like making them feel as awkward as possible so they understand that I am not a freshman and no I do not want to be their friend.

End of rant. Anyone else experience this?

 

[Focus]

Why do I sense that you eat alone?

 

[Math Is Hard]

End of rant. Anyone else experience this?

Experience what? Intentionally being a jerk to strangers?

Shame on you. These kids are in a brand new situation, probably very unsure of themselves, and just seeking a little friendship and advice. There are tactful ways to give them the brush-off if you aren't interested in talking to them. You don't have to make them feel like crap.

 

[humanino]

I just kinda look at them puzzled [...] I like making them feel as awkward as possible so they understand that I am not a freshman and no I do not want to be their friend.

Not only you are being a jerk, but even a stupid jerk. There are much more interesting ways to make someone feel awkward. Yours is plain boring.

 

[tribdog]

He's not being a jerk to people though, he's being a jerk to freshmen. that's okay.

 

[Focus]

He's not being a jerk to people though, he's being a jerk to freshmen. that's okay.

I nominate this as quote of the year.

 

[JasonRox]

One of my jobs at school was to group together students to help make friends on campus. Probably one of the best jobs I ever had because I got paid to have fun basically.

So, yes lots of them are looking to make friends. I've always been good with them. It pays off because they know people then that goes on to knowing more people, and basically sometimes while at a club waiting in line I get to skip everyone because you know this person who knows that person and yadda yadda yadda. Don't really see a downside to it besides when you're trying to do work somewhere in the school and every half hour or hour someone who knows you will see you and want to talk to you.

Good experience though!

 

[Topher925]

I nominate this as quote of the year.

I second that nomination!

Seriously though, if someone comes up to me(including freshman) and asks for help I will go way out of my way to help them. I have already done that twice today and will surely do it again by the end of the day. But, there's a difference between asking for help and just asking for it. If your coming up to me out of no where and just expecting me to be your BFF, I'm sorry but I don't think I can provide the things that they desire.

Social events are great, I went to them all the time as a freshman, but just going up to random people when you have nothing to say is just weird to me. If that makes me a jerk, then so be it.

Flame suit on!

 

[Evo]

I don't get the part about just walking up to a complete stranger and saying hi, then just standing there saying nothing. I wouldn't know what to say to them either other than, "did you need something?"

 

[humanino]

I don't get the part about just walking up to a complete stranger and saying hi, then just standing there saying nothing. I wouldn't know what to say to them either other than, "did you need something?"

Somebody walks to you and ask for help, most people will provide at least the help they can. Somebody walks to you, and you know already this person needs help, yet this person needs even more help than you expected, as can be seen by the fact that they are unable even to ask for it. Well anyway, start a really controversial conversation, do you need examples ? It's always interesting to see one's reaction in those occasions.

Or even better, I know I can right away talk to the person about what I have in mind at this very moment, most likely advanced physics, but that can be anything you are passionate about, and see right away if the other person is potentially interested in your passion, or even passionate as well.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I was like that too when I was an upperclassman. Half the time, I would just fume that my time was being wasted by this freshman. The other half of the time, I would ask this freshman for her phone number.

 

[rootX]

I think it's just an emotional trauma.

 

[Topher925]

I think it's just an emotional trauma.

Could be. I chalk most of it up to all this orientation and OTL garbage that you get bombarded with as a freshman. The whole let's make friends, hold hands, then make a giant finger painting sort of mentality that you get when your new. For some reason I think many freshman feel obligated to get to know as many people as possible and its going to improve their quality of life.

I'll take your advice humanino, next time I get one of those quiet blank stares, I'll just go on about Lie groups or something.

 

[Lisa!]

What's the big deal here? I mean I don't see anything wrong with being their friends.

 

[humanino]

I'll take your advice humanino, next time I get one of those quiet blank stares, I'll just go on about Lie groups or something.

I remember when I was not even a freshman, and how I got a group of upperclassmen blank stared by explaining them how to diagonalize a matrix (they were not very versed into math). The freshman might go on talk about (say) Lisi's Exceptionnaly Simple Theory of Everything

 

[JasonRox]

What's the big deal here? I mean I don't see anything wrong with being their friends.

I don't see the big deal. I hung out with two first year girls quite a bit, one was 18 and the other was 24 and I'm 24. It was fine. I also hang out with others older than I as well. Not many first years are older than me though.

Since the drinking age here is 19, it's rare I'll hang out with someone under 19 even if they have great character. It's just odd.

 

[turbo]

Make friends. Peer-group thinking (stupid freshman...) should have been abandoned in JHS. Your new friend may share a lot of your interests, and if you hit it off, he/she may invite you to share Spring Break at his/her parent's lodge in Colorado.

 

[Lisa!]

I think being older or spending more years at uni doesn't make someone a cooler person to be friend with or more knowledagable than the younger 1s! When I was at the 1st year of uni I had plenty of friends among those who were getting their MS and we're still good friends.(probably better friends than most of my classmates)
I also don't mind making friends with freshmen since they're lively and full of energy!

 

[rootX]

I think being older or spending more years at uni doesn't make someone a cooler person to be friend with or more knowledagable than the younger 1s! When I was at the 1st year of uni I had plenty of friends among those who were getting their MS and we're still good friends.(probably better friends than most of my classmates)
I also don't mind making friends with freshmen since they're lively and full of energy!

They talk too much BS, and it takes time.

 

[BobG]

I don't see what the problem with being friends with freshmen is. As long as they don't keep calling you, "My friend". MF'ers drive me crazy.

 

[Cyrus]

No, what I hate is those student groups that try to harass everyone that walks by with their flyers. NO I don't want to be a christian mission. NO I don't want to stop the slaughter of animals for meat. NO I don't want to fight for students rights on campus (he wanted to lower the drinking age from 21 to 18, some students right -yeah, OKAY) . NO I don't want to end abortion.

I just stare at them and they back away slowly. If they bother me I say no thanks you. Sometimes they ask 'well don't you care about bla bla bla?' I just look them in the eye and say no. They stand there stunned as I walk away.

This guy at the supermarket did the same thing to me today. "Do you want to try our new scanner as you shop?" Me: No, thanks though. Him: "Are you sure? I can show you how it works" Me: I just looked at him and walked away.

Dont hassle me when I am just trying to buy something - jesus.

As for freshman, most of these kids look so young. In my mind I'm like jeez kid, are you 13? When I see them walking by.

I couldn't be friends with someone that young. The difference in age is very nonlinear in the early 20s. Someone 18-20 is really no where near as mature as someone 21-22-23. It's funny because all my friends and I went to the college bar. Were all graduates or work now. All the kids there just stared at us. It was hilarious how insecure they were even at 21.

 

[Evo]

For some reason, I don't ever think we will see Cyrus start a "lonely hearts" thread. You know, the "there's this girl that I like, but she doesn't notice me".

 

[lisab]

For some reason, I don't ever think we will see Cyrus start a "lonely hearts" thread. You know, the "there's this girl that I like, but she doesn't notice me".

 

[turbo]

For some reason, I don't ever think we will see Cyrus start a "lonely hearts" thread. You know, the "there's this girl that I like, but she doesn't notice me".

More likely is "this girl is smitten by me but her friends tease her about my Maddens" - what's wrong with her friends?

 

[Cyrus]

This ones for you crockett and Tubbs...

You really like these shoes Turbo. You always bring them up.

Get a pair, your wife will thank you -trust me...

There casual dressy, so not for everday, but not dress either. Somewhere inbetween if you want to be a little more formal but not too formal.

I cleaned my shoes over the weekend because they were starting to get dirty. Now they look practically brand new again. But I put the red shoe laces of my All-Stars in bleach to get the (oil?) off of it...basically when I came back the red laces were all white. Oh well, I'll get another pack of laces for 2 bucks. I also got some glasses cleaner because I needed a spray bottle. So it was actually a better deal for me to buy it with the fluid in it already. But the fluid is just rubbing alcohol, right? How do I mix my own eyeglass formula to refill it? I'm not paying for those little bottles of spray stuff for $2 bucks...

 

[Moonbear]

Okay, I've really never had that experience. Maybe I just scare them away before they say hi. People just walk up to you, introduce themselves and then stare at you blankly? I mean, I say "Hi" to people I don't know as I pass them, and they say "Hi" back, and then we keep walking. Or, if someone introduces themself to me, which I don't think I've ever had happen while standing in line for books, usually more at a social function, I introduce myself back and engage in some chit-chat. But, that's usually in a situation where one expects to be meeting new people...a party, a meeting, the person next to you in class...not just someone standing in line with you.

 

[cristo]

Instead, I just kinda look at them puzzled as I am expecting them to justify the reason for disturbing me, yet I know what they want. I was a freshman too once, but I like making them feel as awkward as possible so they understand that I am not a freshman and no I do not want to be their friend.

Wow.. you really showed them

 

[mcknia07]

I have never just randomly went up to someone to try to start a convo. I never even tried to make many friends either, but then again, I was a freshman last year, but most kids at our school were pretty normal. Maybe it was your school

Oh and Cyrus, those are some pretty sweet shoes

 

[rootX]

I couldn't be friends with someone that young. The difference in age is very nonlinear in the early 20s. Someone 18-20 is really no where near as mature as someone 21-22-23. It's funny because all my friends and I went to the college bar. Were all graduates or work now. All the kids there just stared at us. It was hilarious how insecure they were even at 21.

I think humans never get fully matured. Because they are always more matured today than yesterday, in their self perceptions.

Personally, I think 16-18 years old are far immature than those at 19-20

 

[mcknia07]

I think humans never get fully matured. Because they are always more matured today than yesterday, in their self perceptions.

Personally, I think 16-18 years old are far immature than those at 19-20

I read somewhere that a person's brain isn't fully mature 'til atleast the age of 24. And that's still not everyone, lol, just a general idea.

 

[lisab]

I read somewhere that a person's brain isn't fully mature 'til atleast the age of 24. And that's still not everyone, lol, just a general idea.

I don't know about brain maturity...but as far as taking on the full responsibilties of an adult, I think you're about right, mcknia. At least in the states...I'm sure it's culture-dependent.

 

[rootX]

I don't know about brain maturity...but as far as taking on the full responsibilties of an adult, I think you're about right, mcknia. At least in the states...I'm sure it's culture-dependent.

I think in most cultures people get married at around 24. So everyone takes adult's responsibility at ~24 but it matters how capable they are.

There are people like Bush

 

[G01]

I never really understood this high school class mentality. In terms of knowledge, a freshman should probably respect the fact that a senior in their field knows more than they do, but they shouldn't be afraid to talk to them or treat them differently than any other student. Nor should upperclassmen feel superior to freshman. In fact they should offer any help they can to freshman. This kind of class system should be done with in high school. Both upperclassmen and freshman are still students.

I also think the generalization that people age 18-20 are less mature than people age 21-23 is false. Personally,I think that I and many of my friends were more mature when we were freshman than many people are when they are seniors in university. I was definitely more serious about my classes than many seniors at my university.

So, I think those of you who somehow think that it is not worth it to hang out with and get to know freshman actually try it. You may meet someone that is more mature than you expect.

 

[Cyrus]

I think humans never get fully matured. Because they are always more matured today than yesterday, in their self perceptions.

Personally, I think 16-18 years old are far immature than those at 19-20

Well, yeah. But there arnt any 16-18 year olds in college.

I think the reason why there is such a discrepancy is because young adults under 21 really never participate in true adult settings. They don't go to bars, conferences, or have serious jobs.

Once your 21, so many doors open to you. You're now able to hang out at a bar where the mean age is 26 or older still. These people arnt going to put up with your childish nonsense. If you have a real job, you're also working with mainly adults. Again, there not going to put up with you if you act like a 20 year old.

Personally, I am a night and day difference from who I was before I was 21. Dressed like a chump, not confident around people, didnt really care about my appearance. I used to let my hair get really long, to steal from Moe, until I had a 'jew fro' and then get a haircut. Pretty much your typical engineering dork.

On the other hand, I have "friends" I know from school that are nice people, but immature as all hell and 21-22. Then again, they are engineers so...

In conclusion, cut the freshman some slack. They're straight out of high school and around older people. I am sure 99% of them are humbled the first day when they realize there a nobody, whereas back in high school they at least had a group of friends.

My friend and I were walking to class and this guy ran up to us and asked us where the math building was. The poor guy was a total dope... I just pointed and said 'over there'.

College is great. Try this trick. I do it every day when I'm walking on campus. Look, actually LOOK at the person that's about to walk buy you straight in the face. 99% of them will look down and walk past you because they don't have any personal skills. If the don't look down, smile at them. THEN they'll turn their head or look down.

Now look at any ADULT and smile at them. They will say hello to you. That's what I can't stand about 99% of the people in college, they don't know how to socially interact with strangers.

The best fun is when I see someone walk all CONFIDENT down the sidewalk. I'll look right at you Mr./Miss confident, and they ALWAYS look down as I walk past them.

That's why I tell people who make these dating advice threads not to listen to people who tell them 'just be confident, act like it and she'll believe you'... It's so painfully obvious to someone when you're not confident, and you'll get called out on it (at least you will if I see you faking it).

I like talking/interacting with people because after a while you can read them like a book before they even say anything. You can tell their mood, and if the conversation's going to stink or not. 9/10 its not that hard to tell off the bat.

 

[tribdog]

I always try to introduce myself and shake people's hands, but only in public restrooms. Especially at the urinals. You want to talk about confidence.

 

[Evo]

Well, yeah. But there arnt any 16-18 year olds in college.

Actually there are. I started college when I was 16. I know several that started at 17.

I believe that MathJeans is in college courses and is 15-16.

 

[JasonRox]

Well, yeah. But there arnt any 16-18 year olds in college.

I think the reason why there is such a discrepancy is because young adults under 21 really never participate in true adult settings. They don't go to bars, conferences, or have serious jobs.

Once your 21, so many doors open to you. You're now able to hang out at a bar where the mean age is 26 or older still. These people arnt going to put up with your childish nonsense. If you have a real job, you're also working with mainly adults. Again, there not going to put up with you if you act like a 20 year old.

Personally, I am a night and day difference from who I was before I was 21. Dressed like a chump, not confident around people, didnt really care about my appearance. I used to let my hair get really long, to steal from Moe, until I had a 'jew fro' and then get a haircut. Pretty much your typical engineering dork.

On the other hand, I have "friends" I know from school that are nice people, but immature as all hell and 21-22. Then again, they are engineers so...

In conclusion, cut the freshman some slack. They're straight out of high school and around older people. I am sure 99% of them are humbled the first day when they realize there a nobody, whereas back in high school they at least had a group of friends.

My friend and I were walking to class and this guy ran up to us and asked us where the math building was. The poor guy was a total dope... I just pointed and said 'over there'.

College is great. Try this trick. I do it every day when I'm walking on campus. Look, actually LOOK at the person that's about to walk buy you straight in the face. 99% of them will look down and walk past you because they don't have any personal skills. If the don't look down, smile at them. THEN they'll turn their head or look down.

Now look at any ADULT and smile at them. They will say hello to you. That's what I can't stand about 99% of the people in college, they don't know how to socially interact with strangers.

The best fun is when I see someone walk all CONFIDENT down the sidewalk. I'll look right at you Mr./Miss confident, and they ALWAYS look down as I walk past them.

That's why I tell people who make these dating advice threads not to listen to people who tell them 'just be confident, act like it and she'll believe you'... It's so painfully obvious to someone when you're not confident, and you'll get called out on it (at least you will if I see you faking it).

I like talking/interacting with people because after a while you can read them like a book before they even say anything. You can tell their mood, and if the conversation's going to stink or not. 9/10 its not that hard to tell off the bat.

What school do you go to? Sounds like garbage to me. My school isn't like that at all.

 

[JasonRox]

So, I think those of you who somehow think that it is not worth it to hang out with and get to know freshman actually try it. You may meet someone that is more mature than you expect.

True. I met some girl at the library while studying during finals and she turned out to be 18 (now 19) and would have never guessed. She got research positions her first summer and is definitely very smart. She is very confident and has never been afraid to approach me (some girl friends of mine are afraid to) or even ask me to hang out.

Or some other girl who's 19, and has basically similar stats and her father is a Canadian diplomat that lives in Manhattan. (Like turbo-1 said, she may invite me over there one day. )

Don't think there all young, because I met some other girl who's 27 who has 2 undergrads, and she's an English teacher. Speaks french (not so good though), but speak proper English. Eats very healthy (vegetarian) and works out regularly. Very very attractive. Perfect for cyrus up until she has tattoos and black hair with highlights.

 

[Cyrus]

Actually there are. I started college when I was 16. I know several that started at 17.

I believe that MathJeans is in college courses and is 15-16.

I think that age group is a rare minority in college.

 

[humanino]

I think that age group is a rare minority in college.

Whether I count my personal friends, or the subset of interesting people, they still are a rare minority as well

 

[Cyrus]

Whether I count my personal friends, or the subset of interesting people, they still are a rare minority as well

Same here

 

[tribdog]

What do you think is the rarest minority, worldwide? Has to be a recognized minority and can't be paradoxical. ie no midget giants or one-legged albino lesbians. It has to be a minority that has a newsletter or something along those lines.

 

[humanino]

What do you think is the rarest minority, worldwide? Has to be a recognized minority and can't be paradoxical. ie no midget giants or one-legged albino lesbians. It has to be a minority that has a newsletter or something along those lines.

The rarest minority is the subset of people whose opinion is always right. It's about the same number of people as those known as tribdog on PF. They do have something along the lines of a newsletter

 

[tribdog]

I'm not always right. I'm usually right. I'm just a regular humble guy. I hope I don't come across in any other light.

 

[humanino]

I'm not always right. I'm usually right. I'm just a regular humble guy. I hope I don't come across in any other light.

Oh yes, sorry, I meant the minority whose opinion about favorite movies is always the right one !

 

[tribdog]

Okay, yeah, that's me

 

[Topher925]

Okay, I've really never had that experience. Maybe I just scare them away before they say hi. People just walk up to you, introduce themselves and then stare at you blankly? I mean, I say "Hi" to people I don't know as I pass them, and they say "Hi" back, and then we keep walking. Or, if someone introduces themself to me, which I don't think I've ever had happen while standing in line for books, usually more at a social function, I introduce myself back and engage in some chit-chat. But, that's usually in a situation where one expects to be meeting new people...a party, a meeting, the person next to you in class...not just someone standing in line with you.

Yes, they just come up to me out of no where. No just casual "Hi" kinda thing or nothing like that just random people in random places(no social events). I've noticed a lot of you are trying to put words in my mouth. I have no problem with being friends with freshman or younger than myself. If random non-freshman people came up to me out of no where (unless it was a hot girl) I would do the same thing. I just happens that the majority of the company I keep is older than I am, probably because of the maturity level.

Once again, I have no problem help, being friends with, or associating myself with freshman. But if went up to some random person while waiting in line some where and randomly just introduced yourself, what would you expect would happen?

 

[rootX]

Dressed like a chump, not confident around people, didnt really care about my appearance. I used to let my hair get really long, to steal from Moe, until I had a 'jew fro' and then get a haircut. Pretty much your typical engineering dork.

You described me accurately! Going even farther, I don't even remember what kind of haircut I had last time /which car my parents have / street-people names.

You are right that you are more matured than 21, but you will be even more matured when you would marry, have kids, send kids to school/university, have divorce, and the criteria for defining who's mature would also change... So, it's hard to say whether we are getting "more mature" or "less immature".

 

[Cyrus]

You described me accurately! Going even farther, I don't even remember what kind of haircut I had last time /which car my parents have / street-people names.

You are right that you are more matured than 21, but you will be even more matured when you would marry, have kids, send kids to school/university, have divorce, and the criteria for defining who's mature would also change... So, it's hard to say whether we are getting "more mature" or "less immature".

I think one always gets more mature. But at the same time I do think you reach some threshold of maturity, and after that point its really your tastes in things in life that change not maturity.

 

[Moonbear]

Once again, I have no problem help, being friends with, or associating myself with freshman. But if went up to some random person while waiting in line some where and randomly just introduced yourself, what would you expect would happen?

That just seems like such atypical behavior that I have to wonder where it comes from. Are they being told to do this during orientation? Is there some cruel group of upperclassmen telling them everyone loves this and they should greet all upperclassmen this way to make new friends? Is it part of the hazing for some fraternity?

Usually all the strange encounters with people striking up weird conversations in college were guys in fraternities being hazed (never mind that hazing was already supposedly forbidden by the university ). My favorite one was after I was in grad school and was in a coffee shop by the edge of campus with one of my friends. This guy walks up to talk to us, and immediately something seems "off." He's introducing himself while at the same time constantly looking at his watch, like he needed to be somewhere else. So, shortly after the hellos, he jumps to the generic, "so, what do you study?" question. Since something just seemed strange, I went for my end-the-conversation-quickly answer of, "I study goats having sex." (My field is reproductive biology...there are a lot of ways I could have answered that question, but I just wanted to freak out this guy and make him go away.) He looks down at his watch as his eyes widen, and he answers, "That was fast!" Now I was the puzzled one. It turns out, their task was to see which of the guys could get a woman to bring up the topic of sex in conversation fastest. I think he won.