I've felt really lonely as of late

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The discussion centers around feelings of loneliness and the struggle to form meaningful relationships. Participants share experiences of feeling unsupported by friends during tough times and express frustration over past relationships that were controlling or unfulfilling. There is a consensus that many people, especially at a young age, may not yet understand themselves or how to build genuine connections. Suggestions include the importance of networking, socializing in various environments, and the potential benefits of pets for companionship. Some participants reflect on their own pasts, noting that while they have struggled with friendships, they have also found value in self-discovery and personal growth. The conversation emphasizes the need for patience in forming relationships and the importance of being proactive in reaching out to others. Overall, the thread highlights a shared sense of isolation while encouraging members to seek connections and support.
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I've felt really lonely as of late. I didn't realize it until now, but I've always gravitated towards the wrong people throughout my life, and it's gotten me nowhere. Just regret and pain. None of the people I know are genuinely my friends. I wouldn't count on them for support when I hit a rough patch and recently it was confirmed when I struggling mentally and psychologically over the fallout of a profound relationship I had with someone. No one that I knew was there nor seemed to care all that much. And romantic relationships have been even worse. I've dated some controlling people, and all I ever do is resist it because they can't accept me for who I am. It's exhausting and I can't take it anymore.

I'm just sad over my lack of profound relationships. Everyone needs their space, but I have too much of it and I'm not that type of person. I like interaction. I'm brutally honest about things and if I say something different that's from the heart people react like I'm a creep/stalker/serial killer. Whatever has formulated in their head isn't positive. I don't get it. They react that way and then when someone is obviously fluffing their way in they fall head over heels over it. I'll just never be able to grasp that.

But anyways, I was wondering if anyone else has or has had these feelings before?
 
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I think you need to get a pet.
They can help you get through tough times like this. :smile:

When I was younger, I basically didn't have "real" friends, and it only hit me when my supposedly "best friend" said that her "level" in popularity was lower than hers and that she was doing me a favor by hanging out with me, even though I brought her "level" down.

I was like, what the *********, and I told her that I didn't need her pity, and left it at that.
 
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~christina~ said:
supposively

Supposedly.
 
Poop-Loops said:
Supposedly.

corrected :shy:
 
LightbulbSun said:
But anyways, I was wondering if anyone else has or has had these feelings before?

yep . After staying in depression for more than one year, I just said I am a robot boy and something aren't meant for me :biggrin: It was horrible!

I also wanted to have a pet but currently in university so not possible

In my case, I don't have normal emotions; can't talk about anything other than my work or go out with anyone for fun. Few years ago a girl approached me and forcefully tried to fill some emotions into me and then went away leaving me with some ambitions, good future vision, some awful emotions and forever loneliness lol.
 
Can I ask how old you are LBS?
 
Evo said:
Can I ask how old you are LBS?

I'm 20.
 
LightbulbSun said:
I'm 20.
That's a tough age. The girls you have dated are most likely pretty immature, as well as your friends. I wouldn't worry too much about not having had a profound relationship at your age. I'm still waiting. Of course it still hurts when relationships don't work out.

Just give things time, don't worry about being in a relationship. For me, I'm happier alone and not being in a bad relationship.

I'll let someone else jump in, because I am not the one to give relationship advice. :redface:
 
Evo said:
That's a tough age. The girls you have dated are most likely pretty immature, as well as your friends. I wouldn't worry too much about not having had a profound relationship at your age. I'm still waiting. Of course it still hurts when relationships don't work out.

Just give things time, don't worry about being in a relationship. For me, I'm happier alone and not being in a bad relationship.

I'll let someone else jump in, because I am not the one to give relationship advice. :redface:

It's not even that I'm looking for a relationship. I just want friends I can hang out and talk about stuff with. Anything to ward off the constant loneliness.
 
  • #10
Evo said:
That's a tough age. The girls you have dated are most likely pretty immature, as well as your friends.

cough*...may I just say I am this certain age?

not everyone is immature...or am I immature??:rolleyes:
 
  • #11
Evo said:
The girls you have dated are most likely pretty immature, as well as your friends.

You say that as if it were a bad thing.
 
  • #12
This is a Physics forum - do any of us have 'normal' emotions? :wink:

I was one of the most introverted people I've ever seen. I never went out to have a good time, never talked with people, and even pushed my family away. You just have to break out of your shell and 'get out there'. Do you ever go to clubs or gyms or some social environment? I was once told the best ally you'll ever have in the real world is your ability to network; the more connections you have the more opportunities. It sounds so cheesy, but it's true. Every person you don't get to know is just another person you'll never find out if you could've had a profound relationship with.

I used to come off the same way as you did to people (think Radiohead - Creep), but the more you talk to new people, and socialize, the easier it is. If people think you're weird when you say something brutally honest...then don't say brutally honest things! A successful socialist is a white liar (I once had a date ask me how her new perfume smelled - I wanted to tell her she could knock a buzzard off a **** wagon, but did I? Of course not!).

Don't sweat women at 20 - I'm firmly convinced women any younger than 24+ don't even know what's going on in their own head!

Did you *just* get out of a relationshi(t/p)?
 
  • #13
Daniel Y. said:
I'm firmly convinced women any younger than 24+ don't even know what's going on in their own head!

:devil: Oh really...?

I have a good idea that I would like to whack you with a marlin right about now.
 
  • #14
Daniel Y. said:
This is a Physics forum - do any of us have 'normal' emotions? :wink:

I was one of the most introverted people I've ever seen. I never went out to have a good time, never talked with people, and even pushed my family away. You just have to break out of your shell and 'get out there'. Do you ever go to clubs or gyms or some social environment? I was once told the best ally you'll ever have in the real world is your ability to network; the more connections you have the more opportunities. It sounds so cheesy, but it's true. Every person you don't get to know is just another person you'll never find out if you could've had a profound relationship with.

I've worked in several work environments before and I was not well received in any of those places. The last one was the worst experience I've had so I just ended up walking out because I did not need to endure another day of it. I persist with the people I know to hang out with me and that it would be fun, but they're always too busy or disinterested.

I used to come off the same way as you did to people (think Radiohead - Creep), but the more you talk to new people, and socialize, the easier it is. If people think you're weird when you say something brutally honest...then don't say brutally honest things! A successful socialist is a white liar (I once had a date ask me how her new perfume smelled - I wanted to tell her she could knock a buzzard off a **** wagon, but did I? Of course not!).

It's not that I say nasty things towards them. It's more like I observe them, find something subtle that I like about them and point it out. Apparently this is creepy, but fluffing with meaningless cliches always wins people over.

Did you *just* get out of a relationshi(t/p)?

Yes, about a couple of months ago. Our communication has disintegrated everyday since then. In the end she just couldn't accept who I was.
 
  • #15
Daniel Y. said:
Don't sweat women at 20 - I'm firmly convinced women any younger than 24+ don't even know what's going on in their own head!QUOTE]

Hey, some of us young ladies, do have a clue what's going on :biggrin:
 
  • #16
~christina~ said:
:devil: Oh really...?

I have a good idea that I would like to whack you with a marlin right about now.

:smile:

I was pretty mature when I was about 20, but I was also extremely self-centered. I had to be, to get done what I needed to get done (graduate from college). As I got older, I got more compassionate and kinder.

But I can relate to what you say, LightbulbSun. Making lasting friendships is really problematic for me, too, even now in my mid-40s. It's not that I'm shy - I'm not at all. I've made several good friends in the last 20 years, but every single one of them has moved away :frown: !
 
  • #17
LightbulbSun said:
I've worked in several work environments before and I was not well received in any of those places. The last one was the worst experience I've had so I just ended up walking out because I did not need to endure another day of it. I persist with the people I know to hang out with me and that it would be fun, but they're always too busy or disinterested.
Most likely, they don't want to hang out with you because you bring them down. Unless you're energetic, fun, and at least make an effort to be sociable, people aren't going to want to hang out with you.

LightbulbSun said:
It's not that I say nasty things towards them. It's more like I observe them, find something subtle that I like about them and point it out. Apparently this is creepy, but fluffing with meaningless cliches always wins people over.
Don't observe them, or study them, or examine the intricate details of their personality - just have fun! Crack a few jokes, have a good time, and go to more social environments to get to know more people.

LightbulbSun said:
Yes, about a couple of months ago. Our communication has disintegrated everyday since then. In the end she just couldn't accept who I was.

We've all had our hearts stomped on once or twice, and I don't intend at all to undermine how you're probably feeling right now (trust me, I can sympathize), but holding onto her isn't going to do anymore than open old wounds. At the risk of sounding like that man-traitor Dr. Phil, you need to stop contact with her! She's lost interest in you (possibly because you seemed needy, clingy, wimpy, or all depressing and no 'fun' to her), and once it's over - it's over. It sucks, and I bet it feels like you'll never have what you had with her (holy crap that sounded cliche!) again, but once you stop thinking about her and move on, it'll get easier.

To all those young ladies whom I offended...I meant what I said! :biggrin: *ducks*
 
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  • #18
Watch out, Daniel, I sense a marlin coming your way...!
 
  • #19
You always have us, LBS! We care about you. :smile:
 
  • #20
~christina~ said:
:devil: Oh really...?

I have a good idea that I would like to whack you with a marlin right about now.

lisab said:
Watch out, Daniel, I sense a marlin coming your way...!

I think it's time for some tough love.

Come here, Daniel.
fish2.gif
 
  • #21
Math Is Hard said:
Come here, Daniel.
fish2.gif

You've got a fish-whacking smilie :approve: Wow.. wait until Evo sees this!
 
  • #22
Math Is Hard said:
You always have us, LBS! We care about you. :smile:

Thanks. This place is like my second home. :biggrin:
 
  • #23
LightbulbSun said:
Thanks. This place is like my second home. :biggrin:

Well then, Welcome Home :smile: I feel like this is home to me too :biggrin: It's a great big family! :)
 
  • #24
mcknia07 said:
Well then, Welcome Home :smile: I feel like this is home to me too :biggrin: It's a great big family! :)

Nerdy blonde chicks. Hot and progressive. :biggrin:
 
  • #25
LightbulbSun said:
Nerdy blonde chicks. Hot and progressive. :biggrin:

Hey, i can't help it, I am blonde, and yeah, I guess you could say nerdy, too :biggrin:
 
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  • #26
Sorry MIH I'll have to steal the smilie :smile:
Daniel Y. said:
To all those young ladies whom I offended...I meant what I said! :biggrin: *ducks*
fish2.gif

I caught another marlin just for you, Daniel.
 
  • #27
Sucks, doesn't it LBS?
 
  • #28
LightbulbSun said:
I didn't realize it until now, but I've always gravitated towards the wrong people throughout my life, and it's gotten me nowhere. Just regret and pain. None of the people I know are genuinely my friends.

I know exactly what you mean. I've a few people I can call "acquaintances" in life, but really nobody I would (or could) call a friend.

I'd like to be in a relationship as well, but as of late I only seem to be attracted to older women that are already married and whatnot.

Life is sh*t.
 
  • #29
Well i have worn through a set of violin strings reading this thread, i am to much of a loner to even notice if i have friends, but on odd occasions the last person i would have thought of turned to be a friend.
 
  • #30
Math Is Hard said:
Come here, Daniel.
fish2.gif
WHOA! I can't believe it, someone has made a smiley out of our fish whacking ceremony!

fish2.gif
 
  • #31
mcknia07 said:
Hey, i can't help it, I am blonde, and yeah, I guess you could say nerdy, too :biggrin:

There's nothing wrong with being blonde and nerdy. :biggrin:
 
  • #32
binzing said:
Sucks, doesn't it LBS?

Well, I guess it wouldn't suck if I were anti-social. However, I'm not that way at all, so yeah, it does suck.
 
  • #33
LightbulbSun said:
There's nothing wrong with being blonde and nerdy. :biggrin:

It just doesn't fit the normal standards :smile:
 
  • #34
mcknia07 said:
It just doesn't fit the normal standards :smile:

Screw those standards. They're just being narrow-minded and unimaginative. :biggrin:
 
  • #35
LightbulbSun said:
Screw those standards. They're just being narrow-minded and unimaginative. :biggrin:

Yeah, true. Very good point there :smile: Standards are crap! :biggrin:
 
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  • #36
mcknia07 said:
Yeah, true. Very good point there :smile: Standards are crap! :biggrin:

Are you going to college for science? If so, what field are you specifying in?
 
  • #37
LightbulbSun said:
Are you going to college for science? If so, what field are you specifying in?

Yeah I'm going to college, but for Mechanical Engineering. I absolutely love it so far!
 
  • #38
Light bulb sun, this is loneliness as opposed to "alone time"?

Try your best to do two things.

1. use retrospection to see who your real friends are (and this includes yourself)

a. for instance, take yourself out for ice cream, coffees and dinners. You wouldn't bore a
real friend by feeling lonely and sorry would you? Don't do it to yourself.

b. search your memory for who it was that seemed to understand your sense of humour and your way of seeing. Contact them or remember to talk to them next time you see them.


2. Value this time as an opportunity to get to know yourself.

a. this will make you a better friend in the end.
 
  • #39
mcknia07 said:
Yeah I'm going to college, but for Mechanical Engineering. I absolutely love it so far!

Very nice. I'm eventually going to go to school for web design.
 
  • #40
baywax said:
Light bulb sun, this is loneliness as opposed to "alone time"?

It's a case of both.

Try your best to do two things.

1. use retrospection to see who your real friends are (and this includes yourself)

a. for instance, take yourself out for ice cream, coffees and dinners. You wouldn't bore a
real friend by feeling lonely and sorry would you? Don't do it to yourself.

b. search your memory for who it was that seemed to understand your sense of humour and your way of seeing. Contact them or remember to talk to them next time you see them.


2. Value this time as an opportunity to get to know yourself.

a. this will make you a better friend in the end.

Sounds like good advice. I appreciate your thoughtful post. :smile:
 
  • #41
LightbulbSun said:
Very nice. I'm eventually going to go to school for web design.

Sweetness, that sounds like it would be really fun :) So, you aren't in college now then?
 
  • #42
mcknia07 said:
Sweetness, that sounds like it would be really fun :) So, you aren't in college now then?

No. I have to pay off a loan first, which should be happening soon. I've been doing a lot of learning from home so I'm not an absolute beginner with it.
 
  • #43
LightbulbSun said:
No. I have to pay off a loan first, which should be happening soon. I've been doing a lot of learning from home so I'm not an absolute beginner with it.

Oh ok, well that's good then. How long do you have to go to school to be a web designer?
 
  • #44
mcknia07 said:
Oh ok, well that's good then. How long do you have to go to school to be a web designer?

I'm not sure about the details of it, but I believe it's only a two year thing. It's probably more though.
 
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  • #45
LightbulbSun said:
I'm not sure about the details of it, but I believe it's only a two year thing. It's probably more though.

Nice, college can be expensive too, so two years shouldn't be too bad, then :smile:
 
  • #46
Evo said:
WHOA! I can't believe it, someone has made a smiley out of our fish whacking ceremony!

fish2.gif

Handy dandy, ain't it? :biggrin:
 
  • #47
hello! I'm new ... I want to greet you a pleasant day...
 
  • #48
dianne said:
hello! I'm new ... I want to greet you a pleasant day...

Thanks, and welcome aboard. :smile:
 
  • #49
Daniel Y. said:
Don't sweat women at 20 - I'm firmly convinced women any younger than 24+ don't even know what's going on in their own head!

Yet they pretty well know that what's going on in a typical man's head, since it's a lot easier to know what's going on in an empty head!:wink:
 
  • #50
Nothing!
 

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