of the most gorgeous woman who ever sat in my measly car, who ever took me to a bar, who ever danced with me by repeatedly threatening to decimate any male contact she'll have. Yes, I did use the word "kill 'em". For every single second that she danced in front of me I knew someday I'd remember that moment as the highlight of my youth. But deep inside I wanted her to hate me because I couldn't handle her affection. And she did. I begged her and begged her till she told me to shut up. If words could explain the way she was waving me to dance with her, her eyes, her smile, her body: I'd give anything to experience that moment just one more time. One night I found my reason to live, but not anymore. Its been two days and the pain keeps getting worse. Talked to couple of friends, didn't help. She probably doesn't wanna see or hear me. What the *** am I suppose to do. Story of my life really. I chased away every single person that ever been good to me. I am the reason why my folks got divorced. I am the reason why my mom is unhappy. All the people that ever tried to befriend me, I scared them away. Cus I think I am the center of the world. And then when she smiled at me, it felt as if everything became alright. Now she probably would hate even to look at me. That is what I'd do.