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Life is a mess (depressed)

  1. Aug 4, 2009 #1
    I'm turning 20 in a month. I recently got accepted into UBC (college transfer) and i can't get into the 2nd year engineering program because of one course... physics 153. otherwise i have everything else. I registered this year crack of dawn and i wasn't even able to take physics 153 because of some BS i called in twice to them they said they'd put me on the waitlist, then i call in again and now they say they're full, so i call in engineering and they say they won't take me next year into 2nd because of that one course. To add to that my parents want me out of the house, i have never had a girlfriend before (lonely), even though all my friends do... nothings going right for me, i hate my life i don't know what i'm doing or what's going to happen. i don't have friends that wana chat (too busy with their gf's) which is why i'm spilling my guts out to you, what does that say? i cry myself to sleep sometimes i don't know what i'm going to do? i'm ruined.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 4, 2009
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 4, 2009 #2
    1) What is the reason you were not able to register? I'm not quite understanding your situation. Are you saying that you completed 1 year at the university, and now you're being kicked out on the second year due to being unable to sign up for a class that you were trying to sign up for, for a reason out of your control? That is pretty hard to believe.

    2) Whatever the exact situation may be, don't give up without a fight. It's easy for people to get pushed into gutters by large uncaring institutions, it happens to us all, but you've got to fight for yourself. Schedule a meeting with people of influence, petition the studies committee, just don't give up as long as you have a fighting chance to avoid this catastrophe. I've faced catastrophes so many times...and somehow got through them.

    3) Not having a girlfriend, nor good friends, and being uncertain of the future, is not a reason to give up. It is something that almost everybody goes through. It's one of the challenges of life. Do you want to give up simply because of a common challenge like that? Chin up. If you really feel all is lost, then you have nothing to lose, and maybe with that mentality you can stop stressing so much and actually enjoy life a little more...and once you start to enjoy life, friends and a girlfriend will follow.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 4, 2009
  4. Aug 4, 2009 #3


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    Is there a way that you can audit the Physics 153 class? Take only the tests and the final, and do the rest of the work on your own? If not, it looks like you may need to wait a term until you can get into the next class, to get what you need to transfer.

    Your parents are just going to have to wait a bit longer for you to move. They should be understanding of that, as long as it is clear to them that you are doing your best to progress in your school work.

    Can you find a part-time job during this term to help offset expenses while you wait for the next term to finish the Physics class? What kind of exercise routine do you have? Exercise is a great stress reliever -- I wouldn't be able to stay sane without it! You should at least be walking daily, and preferably doing some swimming, biking or running most days. If you make it a regular part of your days, you will feel better, and you will also meet more people who are out exercising.

    There are times in life when things can get very difficult. I think most of us have been through them. The things to remember are that there are *always* alternatives, and as long as you can manage the stress and keep looking for creative alternatives, you will make it through the hard times.
  5. Aug 4, 2009 #4


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    Is there a place where you can take that class online? The physics department at UBC might be a good place to ask which online courses they accept.

    Even if you aren't officially accepted into the engineering program, you can still attend the university, right? (At least that's how it was at the schools I attended.)

    And perhaps you may be able to take the engineering classes you want. I strongly encourage you to contact the profs who teach the classes. They may just brush you off, but often they will go out of their way to help.

    As far as girlfriends go...whew, that's a can of worms. I suspect that's been bothering you on a low level for a while, but since everything else in you life feels like it's crap now, it's bubbling up to the surface with all your other worries.

    Hang in there, everything looks bad now but it really will turn around...really, it will!
  6. Aug 4, 2009 #5


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    I'm not sure if I can believe this thread, as Luongo has a past of https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=2222811". However, I doubt these problems just appeared out of nowhere to you, didn't you notice the signs before?.

    With the respect to the girlfriend, don't fall into peer pressure. You don't need a girlfriend to be happy, you should be happy without one. Girlfriends should enhance your life, not be the sole reason of your happiness.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2017
  7. Aug 4, 2009 #6


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    You're not ruined yet.

    This will be when you're ruined.
  8. Aug 4, 2009 #7
    awe beat me to that one.


    I know universities I'm looking into attending offer online courses... even if the university you're intending to attend doesn't offer these online courses, sometimes they still accept them from other universities. Look into it.

    You could also try to talk to the professors/other people with influence in the program as everyone else is suggesting.

    I'm having basically the same problem with my parents... just talk to them about your situation hopefully they will understand. Maybe if you get a part-time job and pay them a bit of rent??

    As for the girlfriend, do NOT panic :) Not having a girlfriend is not something you should allow them to hold you down. From my experience having one actually holds you back more :P You should join some clubs or go out, who cares if your friends have girlfriends, i'm sure if you wanted to go out to the bar some weekends or just chill they wouldn't say no. (wait if you're american, idk how that works since the drinking age is 21 lol)
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 5, 2009
  9. Aug 4, 2009 #8
    You're nearly 20, so you don't get let off even a little bit for being a dumb hormonal teenager. Which is what you sound similar to.

    Email. Beg for an opening. Tell them you need the class.

    When it comes to friends, they may be douchebags. If you have to, find some new friends.

    As for your other problem, no girl wants to date a mopey whiner who can't spell, capitalize, punctuate, or use even reasonable grammar.
  10. Aug 5, 2009 #9
    If you keep the attitude, you're not ready to even meet a girlfriend. Be a man, if you are 20. Follow berkeman advices.
  11. Aug 5, 2009 #10

    Vanadium 50

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    Actually, in Luongo's https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=308142", he says he's a "highschool physics n00bie". So he is a teenager, and he's evidently just messing with you all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2017
  12. Aug 5, 2009 #11
    Even so, I maintain that if he keeps the attitude, he's not ready to have a girlfriend, that he should be a man and follow berkeman advices :biggrin:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2017
  13. Aug 5, 2009 #12


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    Yes, I suspected the same. It is such a shame, because this is one of the most helpful communities out there, and I do not mean only for science students.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2017
  14. Aug 5, 2009 #13


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    Push through it, you can tough it out. There's a lot worse things you could be put up against right now. Career and academics is slow, be patient and don't give up. Same goes with a relationship.

    You're pretty young. I didn't even start college until I was 24. You will have plenty of chances to get ahead of me and I'm doing fine.
  15. Aug 5, 2009 #14
    Alright, can I just ask whichever mod is deleting my posts willy-nilly to PM me? I swear to god, I think I'm going crazy because I remember posting a comment and then I come back and it isn't there.
  16. Aug 5, 2009 #15


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    Oops, sorry. There were some nonsense posts, and you responded to one of them. I deleted your response as part of the cleanup. I should have PM'ed you (I usually do, was just in a hurry last night).
  17. Aug 5, 2009 #16
    Ah, problem solved. Sorry berkeman :)
  18. Aug 5, 2009 #17
    I wish I had your life. Count your blessings. A lot of people are a lot worse off than you.
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