Have you heard of "directional derivatives"? Your normal derivative is just the directional derivative in the direction of a vector normal to a given surface. To calculate the value of a directional derivative at some point, in a direction specified by a unit vector, we can take the dot product of that unit vector with the gradient. Suppose we have a normal vector defined at some point on a surface:
\mathbf{n} = l_x \mathbf{i} + l_y \mathbf{j} + l_y \mathbf{k},
with unit length:
\left \| \mathbf{n} \right \| = 1,
and a scalar field f with gradient
\nabla f = \frac{\partial f}{\partial x} \mathbf{i} + \frac{\partial f}{\partial y} \mathbf{j} + \frac{\partial f }{\partial z} \mathbf{k}.
Then value of the directional derivative is
\nabla f \cdot \mathbf{n} = l_x \frac{\partial f}{\partial x} + l_y \frac{\partial f}{\partial y} + l_z \frac{\partial f }{\partial z},
evaluated at that point. (The direction cosines of a unit vector are its scalar components in the x, y and z directions; you can find the direction cosine in a particular direction by taking the dot product of the vector with the standard basis vector, \mathbf{i}, \mathbf{j} or k corresponding to that direction.)
Sometimes the gradient operator (operator: a function of functions) is expressed like this, on it own, without any scalar field, "plugged in" yet:
\nabla = \frac{\partial }{\partial x} \mathbf{i} + \frac{\partial }{\partial y} \mathbf{j} + \frac{\partial }{\partial z} \mathbf{k}.
Now, another way of expressing this whole idea is to not mention the gradient, as such, but simply to think of the directional derivative operator as acting, in its own right, on a scalar field. In that case, we can write
\frac{\partial }{\partial n} = l_x \frac{\partial }{\partial x} + l_y \frac{\partial }{\partial y} + l_z \frac{\partial }{\partial z}.
When we input a scalar field into this operator, the result is (defined to be) the same as taking the dot product of a unit normal vector with the gradient of the scalar field, i.e. the value of the directional derivative in the direction normal to the surface:
l_x \frac{\partial f}{\partial x} + l_y \frac{\partial f}{\partial y} + l_z \frac{\partial f }{\partial z}.