Age Restrictions for Firearms and Explosives: What is Appropriate for Children?

[Evo]

Ok, so this wasn't a case of an excessively blonde moment.

:grumpy: The trees with overhead branches are the weeping willow and the japanese plum, the dead tree is a little plum tree.

 

[Math Is Hard]

That would be Weapons of Member Detachment?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[turbo]

Evo, please do not buy a chain-saw. I sharpened my saw and two weeks ago, I helped my friend and his wife clear the projected driveway to their lot. I took on the job of scalping the stumps near the ground. There are a couple of problems with this job - for a 50+ guy like me, holding a heavy-duty chain-saw horizontal at ground level all day is tedious, and the anti-kick-back protection is non-existent when the saw is being operated in this way. During the day, I managed to dull some cutters by contacting dirt, etc, and by the middle of the day, I was experiencing some severe kick-backs due to the dullness. This made the exercise very dangerous, and I went home. Know your limits. I have a 61cc chain saw, and my friend's saw is about 45cc and we are both fairly fit. You should consider hiring someone to do the trimming, and spend the saved emergency-room co-pay on a nice spa treatment.

 

[JamesU]

Use the PF Chainsaw...it should be here in the basement...

 

[Moonbear]

You should consider hiring someone to do the trimming, and spend the saved emergency-room co-pay on a nice spa treatment.

Now that's the most convincing reason I've heard so far! See that Evo? Hiring someone else will actually save money, and then you can use all that extra money to go to the spa! It doesn't get much better than that.

 

[Evo]

Now that's the most convincing reason I've heard so far! See that Evo? Hiring someone else will actually save money, and then you can use all that extra money to go to the spa! It doesn't get much better than that.

My emergency room co-pay is only $40 and I have dismemberment insurance at work that pays a lot for losing body parts. But, I happen to be attached to my body parts, so I'd rather not collect.

 

[rcgldr]

scalping the stumps

Dynamite is a lot easier. Evo apparently lives in Texas, so she should be able to go to the local K-Mart children's gun and explosive's department and pick up what she needs. Then again, a fully automatic weapon (borrow one from a shooting range, quite common in Texas), would make short work of those branches. Weapons of choice in Texas are a bit different than most places. For example, in Texas, automobiles are the weapon of choice for eliminating ex-hubbies.

Ok back to reality, I'd recommend contacting some tree trimmers. You're trees aren't that big and it shouldn't cost that much to take care of them.

You didn't state how high up the branches that need trimming are, so I don't know what's involved. If it's climbing gear, I'd stick with professionals.

If you do hire an amatuer, I'd recommend tying a rope relatively high on the small tree, to guide where it falls. The tree is mostly likely off balance and will just fall to the heavy side regardless of the cut pattern used on the trunk. It's possible that you can just pull on the rope to take down the tree. Use a long enough piece of rope so you don't get hit by the tree or any tree related shrapnel. If you soak the ground around the tree trunk first, you might get lucky and pull the whole tree out, depending on what condition the roots are in.

For the branches you want to trim, there are saws and clippers mounted to poles for just this purpose, but this can be tiring if the branches are relatively large, and where do you store this stuff when you're not using it (unless you can rent it).

Still as others have already posted, seems like getting some tree trimmers to do the job is the smartest way to go.

 

[scott1]

Use the PF Chainsaw...it should be here in the basement...

You know where the PF chainsaw is and your killed franzbear...
...I think that will be enough in court...

 

[Evo]

Dynamite is a lot easier. Evo apparently lives in Texas, so she should be able to go to the local K-Mart children's gun and explosive's department and pick up what she needs. Then again, a fully automatic weapon (borrow one from a shooting range, quite common in Texas), would make short work of those branches. Weapons of choice in Texas are a bit different than most places. For example, in Texas, automobiles are the weapon of choice for eliminating ex-hubbies.

Ok back to reality, I'd recommend contacting some tree trimmers. You're trees aren't that big and it shouldn't cost that much to take care of them.

You didn't state how high up the branches that need trimming are, so I don't know what's involved. If it's climbing gear, I'd stick with professionals.

If you do hire an amatuer, I'd recommend tying a rope relatively high on the small tree, to guide where it falls. The tree is mostly likely off balance and will just fall to the heavy side regardless of the cut pattern used on the trunk. It's possible that you can just pull on the rope to take down the tree. Use a long enough piece of rope so you don't get hit by the tree or any tree related shrapnel. If you soak the ground around the tree trunk first, you might get lucky and pull the whole tree out, depending on what condition the roots are in.

For the branches you want to trim, there are saws and clippers mounted to poles for just this purpose, but this can be tiring if the branches are relatively large, and where do you store this stuff when you're not using it (unless you can rent it).

Still as others have already posted, seems like getting some tree trimmers to do the job is the smartest way to go.

Uhm, I'm 5'3" and these branches are probably 5' 7" off the ground, but that put's them overhead.

I just need to buy another pair of extension lopers like the one the JAWS OF DEATH ate.

You're killing my thread, I'm trying to milk sympathy out of people. :grumpy:

 

[Moonbear]

I just need to buy another pair of extension lopers like the one the JAWS OF DEATH ate.

Maybe you just need to wrap the branches in bacon and let the Jaws of Death do the dirty work.

 

[Evo]

Maybe you just need to wrap the branches in bacon and let the Jaws of Death do the dirty work.

She could probabaly learn to levitate if I did that. Might freak the cats out.

 

[rcgldr]

JAWS OF DEATH

Pet of yours? Maybe if you locked it up, you might get some help.

Uhm, I'm 5'3" and these branches are probably 5' 7" off the ground, but that puts them overhead. You're killing my thread, I'm trying to milk sympathy out of people

OK, isn't there some nice fellow here willing to help out a poor defenseless woman protect herself from some evil tree branches?

If this plea for help doesn't work, because the locally available males turn out to be typcially insensitive clods, playing computer games or posting messages on forums (like PF), a small stool would get those branches below sholder level. Just grab a saw and imagine you're dismembering an ex hubby / boyfriend, those branches could be gone in seconds.

Texas K-mart children's gun and explosive's department

Maybe I was a bit unfair about this, I should explain that it's not as bad as it sounds. The childrens department doesn't have anything bigger than a 50 caliber machine gun, and as far as explosives go, just blasting caps and dyanmite. Plus these products are labeled for ages 9 and up, so it's not like just any kid could buy this stuff. You have to be an adult to get the true home protection weapons and the really good stuff, like a 20mm gattling gun or c-4 explosive.

 

[Moonbear]

Maybe I was a bit unfair about this, I should explain that it's not as bad as it sounds. The childrens department doesn't have anything bigger than a 50 caliber machine gun, and as far as explosives go, just blasting caps and dyanmite. Plus these products are labeled for ages 9 and up, so it's not like just any kid could buy this stuff. You have to be an adult to get the true home protection weapons and the really good stuff, like a 20mm gattling gun or c-4 explosive.

:rofl: She's originally from TX, but doesn't currently live there. And, now, you're exaggerating a tad. You have to be at least 12 to get the machine guns and dynamite. 9 year olds only get shot guns and rifles...nothing semi-automatic or automatic until they've learned to be a bit easier with the trigger finger.

 

[rcgldr]

She's originally from TX, but doesn't currently live there. And, now, you're exaggerating a tad. You have to be at least 12 to get the machine guns and dynamite. 9 year olds only get shot guns and rifles...nothing semi-automatic or automatic until they've learned to be a bit easier with the trigger finger.

Ok, I sit corrected. I'm originally from Texas as well. Born in Houston, but now I'm living in southern California, about 20 miles SE of Disneyland (no sign of ZapperZ though).