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Underwood said:If I was on a rocket trip, I would know that my sister back home always had some age at any time on my trip. If the rocket driver told me that she didn't have some age right then, I wouldn't believe him. I wouldn't believe anybody who told me that.
Well, if it makes you happy to think that your sister always has a definite age, no matter how far away she is, just pick a coordinate system, any coordinate system, and always use that one. In relativity discussions, people always assume that the traveling twin picks a coordinate system in which he is at rest. He doesn't have to--he can continue to use the Earth's coordinate system, if he likes. The point of relativity is that the traveling twin can use any coordinate system he likes to do physics.
You might think that your sister's actual age is whatever age she has, according to the Earth's coordinate system. However, if you use a different coordinate system, you would compute a different age for your sister "right now" and you would never run into any contradiction.
Suppose you are billions of miles away from your sister. While you are away, your sister celebrates her 20th birthday--call that event esister--and you celebrate your 20th birthday--call that event eyou. Then the question is: is esister before, after, or at the same time as eyou?
You can say that esister is definitely before eyou if it is possible to send a signal from the first to the second. If you receive a video transmission of her birthday party, and it arrives before you celebrate your birthday, then you know for sure that her birthday happened earlier.
You can say that esister is definitely after eyou if it is possible to send a signal from the second to the first. If she receives a video transmission of your birthday party, and it arrives before she celebrates her birthday, then you know for sure that your birthday happened earlier.
But if it is not possible to send a signal in either direction in time--your video of birthday arrives after her birthday, and vice-verse--then the two events are called "spacelike separated". According to some coordinate systems, your sister's birthday was first. According to some other coordinate systems, your birthday was first. According to yet other coordinate systems, the two events happened at the same time. As far as the physics is concerned, there is no "right" answer; anyone of those coordinate systems are just as good as any other.