Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

[moose]

*Watches Franzbear beat up yomamma*

 

[Moonbear]

Greece? Oops, I think I told the travel agent to book you to Grease...it's this huge pit with the world's largest collection of bacon grease.

 

[JamesU]

*Watches Franzbear beat up yomamma*

He never will. because he's shorter, and I can tie him into a noose, and make him hang himself

Greece? Oops, I think I told the travel agent to book you to Grease...it's this huge pit with the world's largest collection of bacon grease.

okay, but please tell me is does not have people singing about other people they met at the beach.

 

[Moonbear]

okay, but please tell me is does not have people singing about other people they met at the beach.

Nope, nobody singing, "Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car? ...Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?"

 

[moose]

*Is still and evermore impatiently waiting until Moonbear's avatar assasinates yomamma*

 

[JamesU]

I almost threw up watching that movie!

Grease

You're The One That I Want

I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'

You better shape up, cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand, to my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do

Chorus:
You're the one that I want (you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one I need (the one I need), oh yes indeed (yes indeed)

If you're filled with affection, 'n you're too shy to convey
Meditate my direction, feel your way
I better shape up, cause you need a man
I need a man, who can keep me satisfied
I better shape up, if I'm going to prove
You better prove, that my fate is justified
Are you sure? Yes I'm sure down deep inside

chorus

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hopelessly Devoted To You

Guess mine is not the first heart broken, my eyes are not the first to
cry
I'm not the first to know, there's just no gettin' over you

Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head, hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him", my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head, hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grease

I saw my problems and I'll see the light
We got a lovin' thing, we got to feed it right
There ain't no danger we can go too far
We start believin' now that we can be who we are - grease is the word

They think our love is just a growin' pain
Why don't they understand? It's just a cryin' shame
Their lips are lyin', only real is real
We stop the fight right now, we got to be what we feel - grease is the
word


(Grease is the word, is the word that you heard)
It's got a groove, it's got a meaning
Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

We take the pressure, and we throw away conventionality, belongs to
yesterday
There is a chance that we can make it so far
We start believin' now that we can be who we are - grease is the word

(Grease is the word, is the word that you heard)
It's got a groove, it's got a meaning
Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

This is a life of illusion, a life of control
Mixed with confusion - what're we doin' here?

We take the pressure, and we throw away conventionality, belongs to
yesterday
There is a chance that we can make it so far
We start believin' now that we can be who we are - grease is the word

(Grease is the word, is the word that you heard)
It's got a groove, it's got a meaning
Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

(Grease is the word, is the word that you heard)
It's got a groove, it's got a meaning
Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

(Grease is the word, is the word, is the word...)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer Nights

Summer lovin' had me a blast - summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me - I met a boy, cute as can be
Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more, like, does he have a car?

She swam by me, she got a cramp - he went by me, got my suit damp
I saved her life, she nearly drowned - he showed off, splashing around
Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?
Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?

Took her bowlin' in the Arcade - we went strollin', drank lemonade
We made out under the dock - we stayed out until ten o'clock
Summer fling don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, that you don't got her preg
Tell me more, tell me more, cause he sounds like a drag

He got friendly, holdin' my hand - well she got friendly, down in the
sand
He was sweet, just turned eighteen - well she was good, you know what I
mean
Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, how much dough did he spend?
Tell me more, tell me more, could she get me a friend?

It turned colder, that's where it ends - so I told her we'd still be
friends
Then we made our true love vow - wonder what she's doin' now
Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh, those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more.

 

[moose]

Yomamma, that post changed my life

 

[JamesU]

in what way?

 

[Moonbear]

He just lost a few more minutes of it.

How could you not like Grease? I have the soundtrack!

 

[JamesU]

I liked the movie, not the music.

The movie, the PF brotherhood <-yomamma's good side yomamma's bad side-> The soundtrack, the fact that moonbear is an odd looking nun.

 

[Moonbear]

But, how can you like the movie if you didn't like the soundtrack? It's a musical!

 

[moose]

He just lost a few more minutes of it.

How could you not like Grease? I have the soundtrack!

This movie? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077631/

 

[JamesU]

But, how can you like the movie if you didn't like the soundtrack? It's a mooical!

sprry, I don't speak cow

 

[Moonbear]

Careful or you'll experience the first cattle stampede ever to hit...well, wherever it is you live!


...Don't forget to take Franzbear outside with you!

 

[Artman]

meanwhile...

in an underground lab in Canada rocketboy devises a master thread capture plan...

*pulls cover off large device*
*grabs instructions*
"ACME ROCKET ASSEMBLY: follow diagrams carefully"
*throws booklet in the fire*

later...

*posts sign on rocket: "thread safety"*

*moonbear jumps into hide from yomamma, who is running slowly because his mom made him wear his rubber boots to school, he stops to make calculations on his TI-89*

*rocket blasts off, a thread-ionizer-spectromthingy-domelasteromensragal teleports the thread to rocketboys hands*
*waves to the accending rocket*

Love the references to other threads and posts.

 

[Moonbear]

Love the references to other threads and posts.

You've got to give me more than that to work with here!

 

[Artman]

Sorry to interrupt, but does anyone know how fast a squirrel can run? Today I was leaving work and I noticed a squirrel running parallel to my car, I looked and I was doing 20mph, he kept pacing me and wasn't even trying, he was just prancing along. How fast can those things go?

Did you ever hear about the three legged chicken?

There was a poultry inspector making his rounds and he was driving to the next farm and this three legged chicken ran up next to his car. He sped up to 60 miles an hour and the chicken sped up right along side him. He sped up to 80 miles an hour and the chicken caught up and then ran past him, leaving him in a cloud of dust! The chicken turned in at the next farm, where the inspector was heading.

The inspector found the farmer and said, "Did you see that three legged chicken run in here?"

The farmer said, "Yep, I bred that chicken here. I figured people like chicken legs so I would breed a chicken with three legs and make a fortune."

"How's it working out for you? Are you selling a lot of the three legged chickens?"

"Probably could except for one thing."

"What's that?"

"I can't catch them."

 

[Artman]

So, hopefully before Moonbear does it Artman swoops in and ties the thread to a three legged chicken.

 

[Artman]

You've got to give me more than that to work with here!

Hmmmm...

<Thinks of many things to say here, but decides he better not.>

 

[Moonbear]

"How's it working out for you? Are you selling a lot of the three legged chickens?"

"Probably could except for one thing."

"What's that?"

"I can't catch them."

I'm such a sucker for bad jokes.

Do you remember years ago they were selling turkeys for Thanksgiving with an extra leg thrown in? (No, it wasn't attached). I kind of always wondered what happened to the rest of the turkey if they could sell the extra drumstick with the whole turkeys at a time when there was no problem selling whole turkeys. They were marketing it as helping prevent the fighting over the legs in families with more than two turkey-leg eaters.

 

[Artman]

I'm such a sucker for bad jokes.

Do you remember years ago they were selling turkeys for Thanksgiving with an extra leg thrown in? (No, it wasn't attached). I kind of always wondered what happened to the rest of the turkey if they could sell the extra drumstick with the whole turkeys at a time when there was no problem selling whole turkeys. They were marketing it as helping prevent the fighting over the legs in families with more than two turkey-leg eaters.

I usually tell that joke with actions, it makes it even more bad (even more bad?? ).

I don't remember the three legged turkey deal, probably because my inlaws always buy the turkey for thanksgiving, and we rarely have it any other time.

 

[Artman]

Artman had already tied one end of the thread to the three legged chicken, now he ties the other end to an angry mongoose and throws the mongoose into a pit full of snakes.


It'll take months to untangle the knots in that thread. heh, heh, heh!

 

[Moonbear]

I don't remember the three legged turkey deal, probably because my inlaws always buy the turkey for thanksgiving, and we rarely have it any other time.

Maybe it was just a local thing. I only think it happened one year, and I was still a teenager then. I just remembered thinking the 3-legged turkey idea was pretty funny.

 

[Artman]

Maybe it was just a local thing. I only think it happened one year, and I was still a teenager then. I just remembered thinking the 3-legged turkey idea was pretty funny.

Down the road they were selling one legged turkeys for families that don't like the legs.

 

[Moonbear]

Down the road they were selling one legged turkeys for families that don't like the legs.

 

[JamesU]

Artman had already tied one end of the thread to the three legged chicken, now he ties the other end to an angry mongoose and throws the mongoose into a pit full of snakes.


It'll take months to untangle the knots in that thread. heh, heh, heh!

Artman, franzbear is already in class V of untanging, he's already almost done.


okay franzbear, let's get you to the theatre, I got you ina a play with an old nanny who likes to knit, yes, you're the string, I'm sure it won't hurt

now, just let her knit you...good...

*end of play*

Franzbear, you did excellent! I know, I shouldv't told you that the nanny commits scuicide with you, but you really should''ve supported her better Now the audience is mad. I'll hide you from them.

*to audience* PSST!...he's right here![/size]

 

[Moonbear]

You let her make him into a pot holder?! What sort of friend are you?

 

[JamesU]

he loved it! and he got to catch up on his reading. He's reading some book called immortality by franzneitzche

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

reading rots teh mind!

 

[JamesU]

so does spaghetti

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

blasphemy!1one111

 

[JamesU]

spaghetti is only good with lots of sauce to drown out the taste

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, there's an idea! Franzbear, hop into this big tub of sauce. Why? It's good for your complexion.

I'll be right back. Where am I going? Oh, just to bring around the starving grad students.

 

[JamesU]

*turns on sauce burner*

It's like a hot tub. we can't serve you to-- I mean serve you with this...spa treatment...without... heat

Now, bring out the spaghetti! Why? ummm...it's almost dinnertime!

 

[Moonbear]

*sniff sniff* Do I smell something burning? Oh, it's that sauce! Oh no! I guess we didn't really need those blow torches to heat it.

 

[cronxeh]

i need about 10 gallons of liquid nitrogen..

gonna make 2 gallons of icecream

 

[JamesU]

time to put the sauce on the noodles...
*pour*

oh...that looks delicious! let's dig in! *munch*

What's that little white thing that looks like a thread? oh, well... *munch*

 

[Moonbear]

What's that little white thing that looks like a thread? oh, well... *munch*

Oh, it's nothing. Spaghetti is supposed to look like that.

 

[JamesU]

oh...no matter, I ate it

 

[Moonbear]

You ate Franzbear! Now you're going to have to wait for him to...umm...pass.

 

[JamesU]

Just kidding that other guy ate him. he 'passed' and he's really not the same. he tried to hang himself with bear!

 

[Moonbear]

*dons biohazard suit* Okay, I'm going in. Cover me!

*scrubs Franzbear in boiling water* Hold still, we have to get you disinfected! *pours ethanol on Franzbear* Hey, quit drinking that!
*remembers microbiology training...disinfect instruments by flaming them after dipping in alcohol* No, you're not going anywhere yet!
*lights match and touches it to Franzbear* Ooh, look at him burn. Quit screaming! You have to let all the alcohol burn off.
I don't want to take any chances here, there are just nasty, nasty, nasty bacteria where you just came from. *pours hospital grade Lysol on Franzbear* Oh, sorry, that probably stings a bit after the burns.

Okay, I think you're disinfected. Here, smear some of this jelly on the burns, it'll feel better. Oh, nevermind that label, it's not really napalm, I just reused the container.

 

[JamesU]

umm...that was my nitroglycerin...


BOOOMM![/size]

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, oops, my mistake.

 

[JamesU]

okay, bear! is okay. kiashoe has gotten off the steroids.

Yovo got an F- in ALL of his classes, exept for home ec, he got an A...

 

[Moonbear]

Well, then, Yovo, you're in charge of cooking dinner, and I have a basket of mending you can do too; just be careful you don't grab one of your brothers or sisters to thread onto that needle!

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

oops! i cought my room on fire a few minutes ago.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Hmmmm. A series of random statements that seem to serve no purpose. Then, I'm in threadkillers again.

 

[cronxeh]

i was watching the fox5 news today...

and they said that some lab had 3 mice who were infected with bubonic plague escape

so get this. those retards over at FOX proceed to interviews with president of the lab, the history, etc... and 4 minutes later they say that the lab claims that 3 mice died and other mice ate them

now how different is that from escaped vs eaten?

 

[rocketboy]

i was in physics class today...

and we were doing a lab on projectile motion. To do this we use an air table and these special "pucks" that float on the table. But these pucks and the carbon paper under the air table are set up so that electricity is run through it and as a result, wherever the pucks go a dot appears (oh yea, you put paper overotop the carbon paper) every --hz...depending on the frequency, it's kind of like a ticker-tape on an air table that uses electricity to plot the dots instead of a vibrating pointy-thingy.

So my friend and I are doing our lab, and I ask him to push the pedal (which turns on the electricity) when I launch the puck. So I'm setting up my paper on the table, and don't notice him playing around with the puck (he later tells me he was trying to see how much he had to press it to turn it on). Oh, and my metal watch on my wrist is resting, along with my entire hand, on the carbon paper. So he pushes the pedal a bit to far, and...

ZAP!

...let me just say I felt that shock travel up my arm and into my shoulder, and my wrist (which my metal watch was on) was numb for about 10 minutes afterward...

We laughed about it all day

The funny thing is, the grade 11 class came in afterwards and we told this one kid to touch the carbon paper (told him it had a cool texture) and he did...and my friend had the pedal pressed...it was hilarious! (No there is not enough voltage to do damage it just shocks you...and if you are wearing metal that is touching it than it shocks you to a greater degree).