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Troubled relationship

  1. Oct 27, 2009 #1
    Hello everyone, I have a strange question. I'm a physics major and I love science and education in general. My life is dedicated to education but my girlfriend whom i've been with for some time doesnt seem to hold education, especially science, in the same regards as me. Her family also shares the same sentiments as her. I care about her deeply yet it bothers me a great deal when I try to discuss something I enjoy with her and she loses interest and watches the hills or some completely idiotic tv show. I'm at a loss and need an outside perspective.
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 27, 2009 #2


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    That's not something we can really help you with. You need to figure out for yourself if you can deal with someone who'se values are so different from yours. One thing, though: you should talk to her about it.
  4. Oct 27, 2009 #3
    If you care about her and want her to get involved in your life, then get involved in hers. It doesn't just go one way. I'm sure she feels the same way about you not wanting to talk about The Hills or things like that.
  5. Oct 28, 2009 #4


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    You have to be joking right?

    I wouldn't lower my standards and start watching the Hills. It's sad how often people people watch TV and how many hours is wasted on the internet or TV.

    I talked to my one friend how I'm addicted to SimCity 4. That I'm sssoooo addicted that I want to buy a better computer for the purpose of playing the game (but also some programming would be nice). Then he asked, "How often do you play?". I said... "No more than 7 hours a week at best." He laughed.

    That might sound like a lot but I don't have internet at home or cable TV. I watch maybe 3 hours of TV a week. So my time playing the game and watching TV (usually working while watching too) never surpasses 10 hours! People spend more than 10 hours on Facebook alone in one week.

    Now, I play the game like 2-3 hours a week.


    I study Chinese and I don't like school.

    Seriously, when people die and their life flashes before them in a minute... that will be one hell of a boring minute. It would basically consist of them sleeping, browsing facebook and watching TV.

    Yes, when people down talk smokers on their addiction, I point out the Facebook addiction is much worse. I don't even smoke!
  6. Oct 28, 2009 #5
    I think that compromise is required in any healthy relationship. If you can't find anything in common with someone eventually you will drift apart. If you find ways to enjoy each others company and you can stimulate each other mentally you should be fine. Isn't this the purpose of a relationship?
  7. Oct 28, 2009 #6
    Why not do your science talk with friends and leave the girlfriend for other kinds of talk.
    I don't expect my girlfriend to listen to my UFC talk; that's what my friends are for.
    I know people who spend 7 hours a DAY on World of Warcraft.
    Your one hour a day is nothing.
  8. Oct 28, 2009 #7


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  9. Oct 28, 2009 #8
    I think you should try to find the common interests you both share in order to enhance the relationship. Otherwise, if you really want her to take a strong interest in what you are most passionate about but she continues to be interested in things that you consider vain and shallow, then the relationship will break apart if you continue to stay together. You might have had more shared interests in the early stages of your relationship but as time passed your interests might have become more developed independently of your girlfriend growing interests or maybe her interests have remained much the same., and you two might have grown apart. Personally, I don't think people should continued to stay together if their interests have become completely different from the bf/gf's interests overtime.
  10. Oct 28, 2009 #9
    I didn't say to. I said:

    Like I said before, it's not a one way street... You can't expect her to show interest in what you want to talk about if you don't make an effort to do the same with her. Like Pattonias said, there's a certain level of compromise in any relationship. Find something that you could be at least semi-interested in that she's interested in so that you can find common ground. Who knows, maybe you'll actually grow to like it. And express the fact that you would like for both of you to try it out because of the way you feel.

    Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If you don't tell each other what's going on, how do you expect things to get better?

    I mean, you could always attempt to be the first couple to develop ESP... But you should DEFINITELY have a back-up plan if that's the course of action you plan to take :tongue2:
  11. Oct 28, 2009 #10


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    There's a difference between two people in a relationship liking some different things (which I'd say is pretty much normal) and holding fundamentally different ideals (which appears to be the case here regarding education). I'd say the latter is a far greater problem than just watching different tv shows.
  12. Oct 28, 2009 #11
    Does anything really matter as long as your happy doing it? We are all going to die one day, our lives are so insignificant outside of ourselves that...if someone want to watch an idiotic show and it bring them true happiness, why not. Not me I get enjoyment out of learning as much as I can...truly....who are we to say someone else is wasting time.
  13. Oct 29, 2009 #12
    The Hills can't be that bad. Now if she was fanatic about something like "Who wants to be smarter than a 5th grader" or whatever that show is called, then I would 23 skidoo.
  14. Oct 30, 2009 #13


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    I've quoted Kronos5253 for emphasis.

    A little something to consider;

    Last night I was watching the first episode in the series on Nova about Spirit and Opportunity's trip to Mars. She (my wife) has absolutely no interest in the program whatsoever, and I was glued to the screen, completely enthralled with every passing second. However, she absolutely LOVES the PBS program "Rough Science", and we both blew through all available episodes in just a couple nights. All that to say, your girlfriend may end up finding something more interesting along the road. :smile:

    Again; talk with her about it. Share your life's goals and desires with her. Ask her how she feels about them.
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2009
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