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Twisted Wishes

  1. Nov 19, 2006 #1
    Appearances aside, the title isn't mine, but is the original. I swiped the idea from another forum.

    In the spirit of "ask a stupid quetion", this is an iterative one. You grant the prior wish in the worst possible way, then make a wish of your own. (The following examples have all been swiped.)

    1) I wish I didn't get so much spam.
    Your wish is granted: your e-mail server has been deleted.

    2) I wish I had my work done already.
    Granted: You just lost your job.

    3) I wish I had hair.
    Your wish is granted, your hair is now long enough to braid, but you will need to start wearing sandals for anyone to see it, as all of it's on your feet.

    I'll start.

    I wish I had all the answers.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 19, 2006 #2

    Evo

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    Your wish is granted - Your head is so full of useless knowledge that you're frozen with indecision.

    I wish I had a Teddy Ruxpin.
     
  4. Nov 19, 2006 #3

    Moonbear

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    Your wish is granted: an old, non-functioning one with corroded batteries fell out of the garbage truck onto your front lawn.

    I wish: the grant I'm submitting this week gets funded.
     
  5. Nov 19, 2006 #4
    Your wish is granted. A philanthropist from Abu Dhabi funds your research. The NSA has already begun its investigation.

    I wish I had next weeks' stock prices in hand.
     
  6. Nov 19, 2006 #5
    Wish Granted..unfortunately its live-stock, but theres money to be made in pork butts.

    I wish i had a Island vacation this winter
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2006
  7. Nov 19, 2006 #6
    Your wish is granted. You have embarked on a three hour tour. Unfortunately, it is on the SS Minnow. I trust you have lots of vacation time saved up.

    I wish I had an AI smarter than me.
     
  8. Nov 19, 2006 #7
    Your wish is granted, however, due to it's self awareness, it has already self-deleted.

    I wish I could speak every language on earth.

    Haha, fun game.
     
  9. Nov 19, 2006 #8

    Moonbear

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    Your wish is granted: Unfortunately, you don't understand every language on the Earth, so people mostly ignore you while you mutter to yourself in strange languages all day.

    I wish I had a chocolate cake for dessert.
     
  10. Nov 19, 2006 #9

    Math Is Hard

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    your wish is granted. unfortunately, it's a urinal cake.:yuck:

    I wish I had a million U.S. dollars.
     
  11. Nov 19, 2006 #10

    Evo

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    Your wish is granted, unfortunately, they are Confederate US dollars.

    I wish I was less accident prone.
     
  12. Nov 20, 2006 #11
    Sorry Evo, apparently no one can grant that wish....

    I wish my cold to go away befor Thanksgiving
     
  13. Nov 20, 2006 #12
    Your wish is granted, but you are now bed-ridden for the next year.

    Your wish is granted, this year's Thanksgiving has been cancelled, you should be well by next year!:rofl:
     
  14. Nov 20, 2006 #13

    Moonbear

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    Candyman, you forgot to make your wish! :grumpy:
     
  15. Nov 20, 2006 #14
    Sorry, I granted two wishes and was too tired to type it.:rolleyes:

    I wish that I ace all my final exams.
     
  16. Nov 20, 2006 #15
    Your wish is granted, however you were caught cheating later on, and you didn't receive credit for your course.

    I wish that I get accepted to Cornell University (I find out December 11th!!!).
     
  17. Nov 21, 2006 #16
    Your wish is granted. When they do not accept you as a student, you become slightly deranged, and wrap a car around a tree, sustaining serious head injuries. After months of rehabilitation, you are nearly capable of filling the role of a janitor. Cornell suddenly goes on a campaign to rid itself of illegal immigrant workers, and is one of the few places to accept your job application for that role (you can transfer to the food service department if you prove yourself reliable over time).

    I wish I wasn't supposed to be at the office by 7:30.

    (Note the time of the post.)
     
  18. Nov 21, 2006 #17

    Moonbear

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    Your wish is granted: You have a new "early bird" boss who schedules mandatory meetings every morning at 5:30 AM.

    I wish I could get someone else to do the grocery shopping I need to do today.
     
  19. Nov 21, 2006 #18
    Your wish is granted, however, I did your shopping and you now only have a weeks supply of limburgher cheeze, capers, and bread & butter pickles.

    I wish I could hurry and finish school.
     
  20. Nov 21, 2006 #19

    turbo

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    Your wish is granted. You have been expelled with no chance of re-enrollment. There is an assistant manager job open at McDonald's.

    I wish I had a real working Jedi light-saber.
     
  21. Nov 21, 2006 #20
    Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, yaint got skilz and General Grievous just pulled into the driveway.
     
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