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Upset

  1. Apr 22, 2008 #1

    Gib Z

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    Upset :(

    This is the post where I'm going to sound like a stupid immature typical teenager, so stop reading here if you don't want to hear it.


    So, I'm sitting in some week long holiday course that I just now finished, in the seat that looks straight out the door and into the corridor. I finished the work quite early, and spent a lot of the three hour lesson staring into the corridor, looking at people walking by.

    Here is where the main point of this pointless thread begins.

    Several times a lesson, a very cute girl would walk down the corridor and smile at me as she did. By the third day, I began to look out the corridor for the sole purpose of spotting her. In my mind there were little snippets of how I might ask her out. On the last day of this holiday course, I promised myself I would ask her to coffee.

    I didn't. Now I have so many questions running though my head, many of them probably stupid. Why didn't I ask her out? Now I might never see her again. Is it stupid to feel so heartbroken over someone who I didn't really even know? Was she really smiling at me, she could just be a happy person, or a cheery polite one. Will I see her again? I'm meant to be working hard now, do I have time for this kind of thing? Why didn't I ask her out?

    My friend suggested finding out which class she was in and what time it was during the normal term course and seeing her then. Isn't that a bit stalker-ish, especially considering I don't know her? Why am I thinking about this anyway? I've never talked to her. Is it the hormones? Damn she was cute. I mean, really really cute. You wouldn't believe it.

    I guess I don't really have any particular question I wanted to ask, I just wanted to let some people here know, because the stone cold math helper persona was killing me. Sorry if this is a waste of space.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 22, 2008 #2

    Astronuc

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    One's situation is probably rather common.

    Don't dwell on what might have been, especially if one never sees her again. Don't beat oneself up. Just learn and be prepared next time. Move on.

    One will never know what she was thinking when she smiled.

    For young folk sexual attraction is a relatively powerful feeling and it's a consequence of the brain's neurochemistry and the bodies biochemistry (including hormones). One is infatuated. Feeling heartbroken/disappointment is the emotional downside as the euphoria fades, and it is quite natural.

    Maybe one will see her again. If so, introduce oneself. Consider preparing a card with one's name and phone number, just in case.
     
  4. Apr 22, 2008 #3

    dst

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    You forgot to greet him with "young grasshopper".
     
  5. Apr 22, 2008 #4

    lisab

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    Your story is so cute! (Sorry, but it really is!)

    The problem with this kind of attraction is if you don't ever see her again, she'll be in your thoughts for a long, long time.

    Since you have the good sense to be aware of stalking behavior, what harm could come from trying to cross paths with her again? If she was walking around in the hallway during a normal class time, maybe she works in the building.

    Recruit a friend to be wingman and go walk through the building.
     
  6. Apr 22, 2008 #5

    Gib Z

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    She's in the grade above me (which was sort of a worry to me as well before I had the more major one of not seeing her at all) and I know that shes a student at the center. I don't know when she has class or even which one shes in, theres about 4 going on at once, at 3 time slots for every day of the week except Sundays, so many :( And the scary thing is, I've thought of how I might find out what time her class is, but it scares me that I thought of it because even I realize its a bit stalker-ish >.<" . Thanks for your thoughts btw guys.
     
  7. Apr 22, 2008 #6

    Astronuc

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    I preferred to date women ahead of me in school. I placed out of freshman year in uni, so started with second (sophomore) year courses, and consequently tended to interact with older women. Don't worry about the fact that she is a year ahead.
     
  8. Apr 22, 2008 #7
    Listen, if this is my wife you're talking about, then hands off. Otherwise, all's fair. If you want to meet her then do what it takes.
     
  9. Apr 22, 2008 #8
    .. I totally see you, Astronuc, as the wise indian holy man with everyone else in the thread sitting in the tee-pee around the fire listening... lol .. or maybe like Yoda if you're in to Star Wars..
     
  10. Apr 22, 2008 #9
    in high school one doesn't ask girls to coffee. maybe in college and not even then. my best suggestion is don't take girls cues from movies. i would ask one of your friends what they do in such situations because unless the people on this board are in high school it won't be really effective advise.
     
  11. Apr 22, 2008 #10

    cristo

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    You do realise you've just contradicted yourself there, don't you?

    "In high school one doesn't ask girls for coffee"
    and
    "unless people on this board are in high school, it won't be effective advice"

    Anyway, everyone here has been in high school, and I would hazard a guess that most people here have been in that situation before-- I know I certainly have. It's a bit harder if you don't know anything about her, not even which class she has! Do you never bump into her at lunch time, say in the cafeteria? Perhaps you could talk to her then-- but take a friend so it doesn't look like you're stalking her!

    It's very true to old saying "you'll never know if you don't ask." That said, I'm sure there'll be another girl come along next week that you feel like this about :wink:
     
  12. Apr 22, 2008 #11
    What I do in that kind of situation is realize that hey, she wasn't really smiling at me, but she knew the guy sitting behind me. Do'h.
     
  13. Apr 22, 2008 #12

    Moonbear

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    Yes. :biggrin:

    That would be the best opportunity in high school. You might have different lunch periods, but if you both have lunch at the same time, all you need to do is join her lunch table. As long as you don't have a reputation for sitting all by yourself during lunch, you can initially just pass it off as your usual table is already full. If you get comfortable chatting with her and her friends, you'll then have an excuse to return...besides, meeting her friends and seeing how they interact can tell you something about her personality too and if there's more to her than just looks.
     
  14. Apr 22, 2008 #13

    Chi Meson

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    Jeez! That was just so ME during undergrad.

    The best advice I can give is that IF she is a cheery, polite, nice girl, then the worst thing you would get is a sweet, nice, polite, gentle let-down. And those are better than the "screaming giggles " let-downs. So, what have you got to lose?
     
  15. Apr 22, 2008 #14
    I haven't read all of responses, but here is my take. First, don't worry about her (you don't even know the girl!). If you see her again, ask her out (or at least introduce yourself; do NOT bring up that you saw her smiling (possibly) at you outside of your classroom!!!). If you don't see her again, then well, don't worry about her (edit... I did not realize you were in high school, so this is likely not to happen, which is good for you :smile:).

    As for smiling: did she show some teeth? If so, then that is a good sign; if not, then she was just being polite.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2008
  16. Apr 22, 2008 #15
    Run for your life! I know I should have...
     
  17. Apr 22, 2008 #16

    Gib Z

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    :rofl:
    Well I'm not worrying about that anymore, I was pretty sure that she wouldn't know me enough to know i was a year younger :rolleyes:
    Well I don't know, I find that older women respond better to coffee than movies, my friends say its because it makes me seem mature so they ignore my age more.

    I just have to mention again, this isn't school (which a boys only one), this is a extra tutoring center. And I saw her during the holiday course, which is over now :( And I have no guarantee that Ill see her during the normal term course :cry:
    Actually, the whole week I was sitting with 4 other girls :cool: I was late the first lesson, that was the only seat left and I became friends with them =]
    I wish my school wasn't unisex and she was in it :frown: By the way, almost no schools in Sydney, where i live, have actual cafeterias with tables. Instead they shove us on little benches scattered through the school, making these kind of opportunities I see in the movies impossible for us :(
    I don't know, Im still regretting that I didn't do it on the last day :cry: If I ever see her again, I'm hoping that I'll roung up my guts straight away and ask her the second I see her, because I don't see her for more than a few seconds at a time, and shes often with friends :(. Funny story actually, one of her friends might have a little thing against me. I was in the elevator with the friend and some others, listening to my ipod and staring into blank space inattentively. When it finally got to our floor, I nick up head up a bit to see her reproachful face. I was wondering "hey, what did i do??" and I realize I'd be gazing at her breasts for the past few minutes :redface:

    O god, I think she might have just been being polite ! ={
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2008
  18. Apr 22, 2008 #17

    Moonbear

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    That's unfortunate. Oh well, best you can probably do is chalk it up to experience and next time you'll know not to let an opportunity escape you since you now know how much worse it is to regret not doing anything. Surely rejection would be easier to handle than regret. Hey, if it's really meant to be, maybe you'll bump into her after school in a mall or library or some other favorite student hang-out.

    How do you eat without tables? That sounds rather odd. In high school we had a cafeteria that wasn't used for much else (we had such a large school that lunches spanned 3 class periods because there weren't enough tables/space/time on the lunch line for everyone to eat at once, so the cafeteria was in use almost half the day). In junior high, it was both the auditorium and cafeteria (basically, the cafeteria had a stage at one end), and in elementary school, it was one big multipurpose room that was used as the gym most of the day, cafeteria for lunch, and had a stage for assemblies and performances other times. We never had what look like regular tables and chairs, but they were one piece folding tables with attached benches. About 20 people could sit at a table. Then they could be folded out of the way when other events were held in the cafeteria (we used the cafeteria for school dances, not the gym...that way they could avoid damaging the gym floors with girls in high heels or spilled punch, plus they could set up the refreshments in the kitchen area where the lunch line usually formed so nobody tripped over them while dancing). I can't imagine being dispersed all over the school to eat on benches.

    Well, if you never see her again, maybe that's the best you can hope for, to console yourself she was just being polite and everything else is in your imagination. Better than beating yourself up over something that is now beyond your control.
     
  19. Apr 22, 2008 #18

    JasonRox

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    Don't blame math "personality". That's dumb. I'm a 4th math major and this isn't an issue for me.

    I'm very sociable. I seriously went from shy guy where people thought I couldn't talk to very social guy who actually got a job in helping people find friends!

    Dating a cute girl for me is a non-issue. I'll talk and flirt with girls even if the boyfriend is right there. I don't let friends or boyfriends intimidate me.
     
  20. Apr 22, 2008 #19

    Gib Z

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    O no I'm not saying I'm blame the huge part of me that likes math for anything! I think I'm a very social person myself, it's just that I don't often show that side on the forums, which is one of the reasons I posted this, for a nice difference to my usual math flavored posts =]
     
  21. Apr 22, 2008 #20

    JasonRox

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    Just tell her your gay. That way she'll be really comfortable around you and then tell her how her cuteness bent you back straight. :smile:
     
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