What Defines Teenage Life and the Quest for Identity?

[Gale]

I probably could've just as aptly called this thread simply teenagers, but thought throwing in girls might get it noticed more...

so I'm 17, (almost 17.5 by the way, april 3rds my half bday!) and I'm a teenager. I think that's pretty cool. I'm pretty typical for my generation. I basically do my own thing.. trying to be an individual.. along with everyone else. to me being a teenage girl means i crave attention, respect, and making the best memories i can. i can remember being a little kid watching TV and i couldn't wait till i was a teen. I know years from now, i'll wish i still was a teen.

So the big Q of the thread will be, what defines teenager-uh-hood? and why is it one of those things that's so... everyone wanting to be one...?

 

[Gza]

think about it: no bills to worry about, no job ( and even if you have one, it's to pay for your weekends), no other mouths to feed (aside from your own, which you can do pretty much however you want, since you won't put on an ounce of fat!), and you are basically at your physical peak up through your teens into your mid twenties. It's good to be young!

 

[spender]

When I look back at my teenage years I think of complete embarassment/idiocity/naivitee

 

[Gale]

think about it: no bills to worry about,

Ya, but i need new clothes!

no job ( and even if you have one, it's to pay for your weekends),

ya, because mom and dad won't buy anything for me any more! i hate flipping burgers and making french fries, it makes me break out!

no other mouths to feed (aside from your own, which you can do pretty much however you want, since you won't put on an ounce of fat!),

Hah! my boyfriend eats like a pig... i always have to buy him dinner... And hello! if i ever put on a whole once of fat, i would DIE! last week i gained .000321 lbs and i cried for hours!

and you are basically at your physical peak up through your teens into your mid twenties. It's good to be young!

Physical peak?!? eww... do you mean excersize... i don't actually like to sweat... i just eat as little as possible.. that's the best way to go... really healthy...


All that is really nice when you look back on it... but its not really that simple when you're still young

 

[wasteofo2]

to me being a teenage girl means i crave attention, respect, and making the best memories i can. i can remember being a little kid watching TV and i couldn't wait till i was a teen. I know years from now, i'll wish i still was a teen.

So the big Q of the thread will be, what defines teenager-uh-hood? and why is it one of those things that's so... everyone wanting to be one...?

I'm a teenage boy, and I know lots of people who seem to be like you, wanting to live it up as a teenager the most that they can and don't seem like they'll want to ever be anything but a teenager. I don't understand people like that at all - what's the point of spending your whole life looking back on your time in high school and college and wishing you were back in there? In my opinion, if you spend your whole life reminiscing about being a teenager, you're not doing enough to enjoy your life as a whole.

Certainly being a teenager has lots of props, especially none of the responsibilities of adulthood, but who would want to live a life that's constantly declining after you get out of college?

 

[Gale]

I'm a teenage boy, and I know lots of people who seem to be like you, wanting to live it up as a teenager the most that they can and don't seem like they'll want to ever be anything but a teenager. I don't understand people like that at all - what's the point of spending your whole life looking back on your time in high school and college and wishing you were back in there? In my opinion, if you spend your whole life reminiscing about being a teenager, you're not doing enough to enjoy your life as a whole.

I'm actually not that way very much... I know people *dad* cough cough* who spend forever getting drunk remember his old football and track days. I'm not that way at all, and i won't ever be. I said i want to have a lot of great experiences so i have something to look back on that i can appreciate... not so i can spend the rest of my life looking back on it.

 

[Moonbear]

Teenage years were okay, but I think my 20's were better. I'm not done with my 30s yet, but they're looking pretty good too. As for kids looking forward to being teenagers, mostly it's just hype, but it's also that in your teenage years you start to gain some of the freedoms of adulthood - not all of them, but you're on a much longer leash than as a kid.

 

[Gale]

ok new plan... what defined (or is currently defining) YOUR teenaged years?

 

[motai]

I'm a teenage boy, and I know lots of people who seem to be like you, wanting to live it up as a teenager the most that they can and don't seem like they'll want to ever be anything but a teenager. I don't understand people like that at all - what's the point of spending your whole life looking back on your time in high school and college and wishing you were back in there?

I agree. I don't really like my teenage years all that much... I don't fit within the archetypal teenage stereotype and there are few who understand me. I'm not a party guy, not interested in being cool or popular, but actually interested in learning. I'm the type who would rather spend my spare time reading or pondering whatever the universe holds. And, as such a person, find that others who share my interests are exceedingly rare.

I just hope that things get better in the future.

 

[motai]

ok new plan... what defined (or is currently defining) YOUR teenaged years?

Um.. frustration, loneliness, slight depression. The good parts are too far in between and don't come around often enough. Probably the only things that keep me going throughout the school day are my calculus class and band.

 

[Astronuc]

My daughter is a teenager with one more year of high school. She is not inclined to work (e.g. flipping burgers). She has a boyfriend, who is actually a very 'nice' young man, and one whom I trust.

think about it: no bills to worry about, no job ( and even if you have one, it's to pay for your weekends),

I started working when I was 15 and a junior in high school. My parents, mother in particular, informed me that if I wanted to go to college I was expected to work. So I got a job in a neighborhood nursery and gardening center working after school and on weekends (Saturday and Sunday) during my junior year. So no time off, until a summer science training program (in EE and Nuc. E.) out of town at Colorado School of Mines. During my senior year, I worked sacking groceries and then stocking the dairy section after school and on weekends until I entered university (when I just worked weekends). During my freshman year, I focused on studies. In the summer I got a full time job on campus as a plumber and maintenance helper. I kept that job part time for my sophomore year. During my junior year, I worked in a kitchen of one of the college dorms and also worked a janitor's job at night. That paid for room and board, tuition, and car.

no other mouths to feed (aside from your own, which you can do pretty much however you want, since you won't put on an ounce of fat!),

Both my parents worked, but neither made a large salary (one of the reasons I had to work). I am one of four kids, and since I was the oldest and both parents worked, I took care of my sister (5 years younger) and youngest brother (8 years younger). Later in college, since I was paying my way and had extra money, I helped my parents pay for my brothers and sister.

I have worked full time, or sometimes part-time while in school, since I was 15. For several years in graduate school, I worked full time (40 +) and went to school full time. I left graduate school without debt and actually paid off most of my wife's school loans.

and you are basically at your physical peak up through your teens into your mid twenties.

Peak physical condition is about mid 20's (about 22-26), after that, it's down hill.

 

[Hurkyl]

I don't really feel like I've moved from one phase of my life to another -- life just keeps moving forward. I'm only 26, though, so I'm not as old as some of you.

 

[klusener]

Um.. frustration, loneliness, slight depression. The good parts are too far in between and don't come around often enough. Probably the only things that keep me going throughout the school day are my calculus class and band.

it seems the look on homer's face on your avatar perfectly explains your situation...

 

[motai]

it seems the look on homer's face on your avatar perfectly explains your situation...

Ironically so. Kinda weird how life works its way in and out.

 

[Gale]

I agree. I don't really like my teenage years all that much... I don't fit within the archetypal teenage stereotype and there are few who understand me. I'm not a party guy, not interested in being cool or popular, but actually interested in learning. I'm the type who would rather spend my spare time reading or pondering whatever the universe holds. And, as such a person, find that others who share my interests are exceedingly rare.

I just hope that things get better in the future.

Thats like how i was in high school. I hit depression pretty hard my freshman sophomore years, and when i sort of came out of it junior year (last year) i went kinda... weird... i hated calc though... and i never got into band... i did ditch friends to hang in the library a lot though. but i think i get how you feel.

 

[Grogs]

I think we tend to look back on our teenage years in much the same way one sells real estate: accentuate the positives and downplay the negatives. Still, I think what is most exciting about your teenage years is opportunity. As a teenager, nearly every path is open. As we make more and more choices in life, our options tend to narrow down.

 

[Gale]

I think we tend to look back on our teenage years in much the same way one sells real estate: accentuate the positives and downplay the negatives. Still, I think what is most exciting about your teenage years is opportunity. As a teenager, nearly every path is open. As we make more and more choices in life, our options tend to narrow down.

i think that's probably one of the scariest things about being a teenager. You feel like your so free... but that you have to decide your future cause everything you do now limits what you can do later... It kills me to see my little sister (15) already planning out her career... she still has 3 years of high school left but she's telling me that she has to make decisions else her windows of opportunity will close!

 

[ray b]

I was 17 in 1967
how do I get a dueover?
wish I knew then what I know now
growing older succkks
but beats the only other option

 

[Mk]

Or you could fall through an Einstein-Rosen Bridge and end up in an alternate universe

 

[franznietzsche]

Now for my singularly jaded opinion on these matters, one week before my 18th birthday...

I'm pretty typical for my generation. I basically do my own thing.. trying to be an individual..

Ok you can't have it both ways. You can be a typical teenagre or an individual. No way in hell you can be both. So pick. And i don't just mean from a semantic standpoint. I can walk between groups of people, and almost not notice that the conversations change sometimes, its sickening really. They've all got their ipods, listening to the same 'hip' music, wearing the same 'hip' clothes, and talking about the same 'hip' drivel.

along with everyone else. to me being a teenage girl means i crave attention, respect

Typically teenagers crave those the most when they are the least deserved.

and making the best memories i can. i can remember being a little kid watching TV and i couldn't wait till i was a teen. I know years from now, i'll wish i still was a teen.

That makes one of us.

So the big Q of the thread will be, what defines teenager-uh-hood? and why is it one of those things that's so... everyone wanting to be one...?

Teenage is the age between when idiocy is excusable and unexcusable, without any change it in its frequency.

At least that's my observation of teenagers.

But don't mind me, I'm a cynically depraved and jaded arsehole.

 

[Mk]

i can remember being a little kid watching TV and i couldn't wait till i was a teen. I know years from now, i'll wish i still was a teen.

So the big Q of the thread will be, what defines teenager-uh-hood? and why is it one of those things that's so... everyone wanting to be one...?

That makes one of us, twice.

 

[derfrok]

So the big Q of the thread will be, what defines teenager-uh-hood?

::shrugs:: when all you ever think about doing is going on myspace?

 

[vikasj007]

i am in my teenage(18+), and i really feel that there is so much i want to do, or i have to do, but i just don't understand how to go about it. it seems that i am always on the lookout for answers, to questions which i don't really know.

i feel so confused, that whatever i am doing is correct or not, or could it have been better. and i think the situation is very different with most other teenagers.

 

[JasonRox]

Now for my singularly jaded opinion on these matters, one week before my 18th birthday...



Ok you can't have it both ways. You can be a typical teenagre or an individual. No way in hell you can be both. So pick. And i don't just mean from a semantic standpoint. I can walk between groups of people, and almost not notice that the conversations change sometimes, its sickening really. They've all got their ipods, listening to the same 'hip' music, wearing the same 'hip' clothes, and talking about the same 'hip' drivel.




Typically teenagers crave those the most when they are the least deserved.



That makes one of us.




Teenage is the age between when idiocy is excusable and unexcusable, without any change it in its frequency.

At least that's my observation of teenagers.

But don't mind me, I'm a cynically depraved and jaded arsehole.

So, you're an individual. Good for you.

That makes you so much better than everyone else.

You choose to talk about things others don't like. Where the others like to talk about things people like you don't like.

Note: Stop trying so hard to be an individual.

 

[FredGarvin]

Teenage is the age between when idiocy is excusable and unexcusable, without any change it in its frequency.

That's actually pretty damned good. I am not going to get into the whole your generation is worse than mine because...it's been the same for millenia. However I do find it funny that all of the people who are 'trying' to be an individual are all wearing the same fad-ish clothes and watching the same idiotic tv programs and basically being a sheep.

To me being a teenager is along the lines of what was said...being able to act like you know everything, do anything you want and not worry about the consequences of your actions/non-actions. It's a beautiful time. I however do not miss it one iota.

 

[Gale]

That's actually pretty damned good. I am not going to get into the whole your generation is worse than mine because...it's been the same for millenia. However I do find it funny that all of the people who are 'trying' to be an individual are all wearing the same fad-ish clothes and watching the same idiotic tv programs and basically being a sheep.

thats kinda what i mean. I mean i think I'm pretty different, but it seems like my generation is all about being "unique," and yet everyone still has the same petty ideas. I probably walk both lines, of being trendy and of not caring. I was kinda popular in school, sometimes that'd be cool, sometimes annoying because i couldn't read a book without people asking me why, or walk away from a group of annoying people without being followed.

I think the response here is probably pretty different then i would've got asking a lot of other people about their teenage years. I'm not getting the impression that anyone recalls theirs terribly fondly. Or that those of us still living through theirs are really enjoying them.

I started my teens really crummy, i guess I'm just trying to be more optimistic for what i have left of them.

 

[matthyaouw]

Ya, but i need new clothes!

Need, or want?

ya, because mom and dad won't buy anything for me any more! i hate flipping burgers and making french fries, it makes me break out!

Thats life. You can't expect everything to neatly fell into your lap with no effort. I have a job too, and even when i don't want to, I make the effort to put in extra hours and earn myself some extra cash. No sense complaining when there's work to be done.

Hah! my boyfriend eats like a pig... i always have to buy him dinner... And hello! if i ever put on a whole once of fat, i would DIE! last week i gained .000321 lbs and i cried for hours!

Are you serious? 0.000321 lbs is absolutely nothing, hell an ounce is absolutely nothing. Why are you so concerned about your weight?

Physical peak?!? eww... do you mean excersize... i don't actually like to sweat... i just eat as little as possible.. that's the best way to go... really healthy...

Starving yourself is not the best way to go, and its not healthy. You could become malnourished and extremely unhealthy by eating as little as possible, where as good meals and exercise are good ways to improve your physique and overall health. Just out of curiosity, how much do you eat in a day?

All that is really nice when you look back on it... but its not really that simple when you're still young

I'd like to disagree, since I'm only 18 myself. If you fret so much about new clothes, a bit of hard work, a few grams of weight and the horrible prospect of a little healthy exercise, then of course you won't enjoy your teenage years to their full potential. Frankly, you need to stop fussing so much about little things, and just enjoy what you have. Don't take it for granted, as you'll never have it again.

For me, teenage years are a time for learning. Not learning in school, but learning about life, and gradually maturing with each mistake you make, and each new thing you experience, having your fair share of fun and relaxation along the way, and maybe if you're lucky, coming out the other end as a better person, and maybe as an adult.

Teenage years are great. A wonderful mix of the liberties granted by childhood and the liberties granted by adulthood that you will never have again.

 

[loseyourname]

so I'm 17, (almost 17.5 by the way, april 3rds my half bday!) and I'm a teenager.

You're 17 and you're a teenager? Wow, you almost never see that. (Sorry, but I had to do that.)

So the big Q of the thread will be, what defines teenager-uh-hood? and why is it one of those things that's so... everyone wanting to be one...?

Other than being between the ages of 13 and 19, the teenage years are mostly defined by an awkward lack of self. Most teens both look and feel a little goofy. They haven't quite grown into their bodies yet and may have oily hair and skin or underdeveloped musculature. As they have generally yet to create many things that are truly their own (house, family, and such), they are still defined largely by the house and family of their childhood, along with whatever groups of people they associate with.

By the way, since when does everyone want to be a teenager? I find the teenage years to be rather loathsome in many ways. For whatever reason, I basically finished going through puberty by 14 (fully grown, voice changed, bodily hair and all that) so it wasn't so bad for me, but even so. Teenage politics are just flat-out stupid and high school always seemed lacking. It's better in the AP classes, but even in regular honors courses too many students goof around and are more concerned with appearing cool than learning anything. Teenage relationships are a bit of a joke when you look back on them, as well. Don't get me wrong, I had my requisite high school sweetheart that I loved a great deal and we had many wonderful experiences together (and those that weren't wonderful at least make great stories), but without a great sense of who you are, it's hard to propertly relate yourself to another. The girl, in particular, had a lot of trouble with this. She just didn't seem to be able to conceive of herself except in how she was related to me. If she wasn't happy with me, she couldn't be happy. Same thing with her mother and other people that were important to her.

 

[Gale]

You're 17 and you're a teenager? Wow, you almost never see that. (Sorry, but I had to do that.)

heh... good one...


matthyaouw, i was kidding about all that, but seriously, i know people who are almost (i exaggerated a little) that way. I know a lot of people who're that serious about clothes and weight. Most of my friends for starters. I still kick myself for becoming friend with them when i was all depressed freshman year. I'm not that bad, really...

Ok, so i have a new question. I graduates high school early, and college is very different. I don't know how much i like college, but i hated high school, so its definately an improvement. I'm really glad i got out early, even if only a semester early, and i wish i had just left last year. A lot of people said i shouldn't graduate early, it'd be awkward (which it was) but maybe its worth it? Do you think it was probably better to leave the high school scene since it was so miserable? Do you think maybe more kids ought to? I think a lot of the problems with teenage years are probably the fact that you're stuck in high school... but maybe the feeling of being stuck is the products of being a teen... I'm not sure... I'm glad I'm done with it though...

 

[franznietzsche]

So, you're an individual. Good for you.

That makes you so much better than everyone else.

You choose to talk about things others don't like. Where the others like to talk about things people like you don't like.

Note: Stop trying so hard to be an individual.

what the heck are you talking about?

why do i care about individualism? I'm talking about how they're all utter morons.

 

[Moonbear]

Hmm, being a teenager, that's when you still know everything and aren't afraid to inform everyone else of that.

 

[JasonRox]

what the heck are you talking about?

why do i care about individualism? I'm talking about how they're all utter morons.

By calling them that, you are so much better.

 

[Zantra]

ahhh... to be 17 and know everything again

Get back to me in 10 years and let me know how that worked out

 

[Ba]

At 19 I have no real regrets, my last three years were a lot of fun,doing everything, but then I decided I needed to go to college. It's not nearly so fun and now I look forward to summer, hiking, rockclimbing and such. And I'll be working as well. Teenage years or not, I just have fun. I don't see anything special about now or earlier. Life is Life.

 

[matthyaouw]

matthyaouw, i was kidding about all that, but seriously, i know people who are almost (i exaggerated a little) that way. I know a lot of people who're that serious about clothes and weight. Most of my friends for starters. I still kick myself for becoming friend with them when i was all depressed freshman year. I'm not that bad, really...

Thank God, I was a little worried. I'm no good with things like that unless [sarcasm] [/sarcasm] tags are present you see :)

 

[franznietzsche]

By calling them that, you are so much better.

Right...

Ok, whatever you say.

 

[TsunamiJoe]

you were 15 and a junior?!?

anyway I'm currently a junior, and I don't claim to be an individual at all, but I'm just doing what's cool to me, I float around in all of the groups, except for the people i call NeoPreppy|people who where completely hollister(etc etc) head to toe, and don't play any sports but still think they'r tough as nails|

also I really don't see how you think all the groups in high school dress the same...I mean the preps don't dress like the goths, nor the nerds, nor the overachievers, nor the bible lunatics | though i will agree the same drama with relationships is usualy the focal point of discussion, or testoserone(sp?) displays where someone just wants to look bad so they try and scare others.

I'm not positive, but I believe to have a somewhat unique standpoint, in the fact, I don't fully belong to one group or another, and that I employ CIA techniques of gaining information, so that I don't really have friends, they're more so a web of contacts.|but enough of that, I'm simply saying that I'm not really one-sided, though I will admit that the goths, freaks, and people who pretend theyre ice hearted, are usualy the most immature of the social groups - personaly I've found more acts of decency and comradary in the regular preps and athletes

 

[Padford]

ok new plan... what defined (or is currently defining) YOUR teenaged years?

This may be posted mid-conversation, but hey...
Teenage, and loving it; though defining my life at the moment is probably college, or school, I prefer college though, adds a certain prestige to the name...but yeah, it is that; and a constant need to perform well – I’m a college that is one of the best in the country, so surrounded by geniuses! And I do physics chemistry maths and history, so it’s not easy, but it’s all good. Though I do have days when I think what’s the point, and that I’m working my ass off, to get through these damned A-levels, to get to university, to sell myself to people who shall look down their nose at me. Only to complete university, to then have the adventure cough of finding and holding down a job, by this time is twenty-something, I’m then expected to work till, what is it 65 now (thanks Tony, we love you….), to retire and die.

From a positive,

-Padford

oh, by the way, the teenage girls thing worked!

 

[ShawnD]

0-17 were horrible years for me. The more I forget them, the more mentally stable and outgoing I become.

From age 0-17 you get treated like a useless retard because everybody is used to dealing with the lowest type of person your age. Your teachers think you're an idiot, stores have policies about a maximum number of kids because they think you're going to steal things, your signature has no value at all, you're not allowed in bars, you can't rent a car, you can't apply for a credit card or loan, you can't have investments or real estate in your name, and some people will even try to dictate whether or not you can have sex. Jesus, is it any wonder kids are so emo these days?


I turned 18 at the very beginning of my first year of college, and everything changed. Suddenly people said Mr. before saying my last name; using my last name was no longer a sign of disrespect. When filling out bank or school forms, my signature actually had meaning to it. Sometimes there are credit card people from banks at the school offering students credit cards with low interest rates. I know it doens't make me special or anything, but it's still nice to know they trust me and my fellow students enough to offer us a card that let's us borrow money from an actual bank. Alcohol is no longer such a big deal because my college has a bar connected to the corridor adjacent to the corridor my locker is in, and students from my college get 5 free drinks at one of the trendy bars downtown on thursdays.
I'm currently 19, and life is just getting started. I have a feeling my 20s will be a blast.


Sorry I'm a little blunt here, but there's no such thing as individuals. The more you deal with government and companies, the quicker you learn that you're nothing more than a number; just like everybody else.

 

[The_Professional]

Sorry I'm a little blunt here, but there's no such thing as individuals. The more you deal with government and companies, the quicker you learn that you're nothing more than a number; just like everybody else.

A walking social security number

 

[futb0l]

Mwahhah, good to be only 16.

 

[TsunamiJoe]

i like my social security number :) but i see what your saying, a lot of the colleges are doing those commercials were its like, "im not a number" or "we don't treat our students as numbers" so on and so forth

 

[Moses]

Well, being a teen, the best thing so far i have as material is my social security number :D

I feel now that i "sweat" to get my money, and my parents back home tell me : You, we know you need money, give us your bank account. and me saying: Nope, my arm makes me survivin. That is POWER, witohut exaggeration

Still, being crazy and planning the big stpet for my life for the next 25 years, this teens period is exciting, the next period will be as well "I guess gettin married in 20's is amazing, if not i wonder why ppl get married " this is chains, and every ring in the chain, is ring like the others, but still called "another" not "exact" ring...

Hopefully i was not disastorus poetic bomb in the last couple of lines...

 

[Astronuc]

Hmm, being a teenager, that's when you still know everything and aren't afraid to inform everyone else of that.

Along those lines, my teenage daughter informed me Friday night, "Dad, you're a guy. You just don't get it."

To which I responded -

Well yes, I do. I know I am a guy. And yes I do get it.

 

[saltydog]

Along those lines, my teenage daughter informed me Friday night, "Dad, you're a guy. You just don't get it."

To which I responded -

Well yes, I do. I know I am a guy. And yes I do get it.

Good for you Astronuc. You can agree with me I hope that a daughter is the most precious thing a man can ever have in this world. Mine is very much a diamond in my eyes. My son . . . well, he ain't no jewel that's for sure but he's ok with that.

"the child is father to the man" (woman, girl, same dif)

 

[Moonbear]

Along those lines, my teenage daughter informed me Friday night, "Dad, you're a guy. You just don't get it."

To which I responded -

Well yes, I do. I know I am a guy. And yes I do get it.

Did that get you a long, drawn out, "Daaaa-aaaaad!" as a response?

 

[Loren Booda]

Looking at this thread title reminded me of the ambiguous spam term ("teenage girls") that titillates adult men (un)consciously into sexualizing underage females. Girls must be reminded that they have the responsibility to practice, into majority, a sexuality of mutual respect with their adult male counterparts. Adult males also need to practice propriety when looking at, communicating with and controlling their urges concerning minor females. For instance, who hasn't seen a gang of guys gawking, and heard their lewd comments, toward an attractive "teenage" girl?

Sex education needs to remind such social aspects which can lead to potentially deadly STD's, pregnancy, personality disorders, personal degradation and even suicide. Education must starts before physical maturation, and family must protect beyond teenage. "Teenage," as concerns developing sexual responsibility, nowadays extends into the mid-twenties.