What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[Cyrus]

That's not contrary to popular opinion -- what you've described is actually the typical male. Men often have relatively low standards in their dating habits, but relatively higher standards in their ideals about a mate worthy of marriage.

That's why so many women end up in dead-end relationships where the guy is afraid to "take the next step," and why people write silly books like He's Just Not That Into You.

- Warren

I have bad news warren. It's not you, it's me.

 

[Proton Soup]

Perhaps I'm a tad bitter but guys seem to be a whole lot more demanding in a mate. It's contrary to popular opinions, I know, but if a guy dates someone who everyone thinks is weird or sub-par, he'll never hear the end of it from his guys friends. I once dated someone who I thought was cute and while my friends didn't agree, they acknowledged that I must've seen something in him that made him worth keeping. A guy friend of mine was in a similar situation but all his friends could say was "Do you put a bag over her head when you're alone together? Haha!" even though he explained that she was funny, caring, and a nice person.

yeah, that's just the way women are. better watch out or they'll be trying to steal your man!

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10966-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-your-friends.html

and guys, this is the way you want to choose your profile pics for online dating: with the type of girl you'd like to date looking at you adoringly.

 

[Proton Soup]

That's not contrary to popular opinion -- what you've described is actually the typical male. Men often have relatively low standards in their dating habits, but relatively higher standards in their ideals about a mate worthy of marriage.

That's why so many women end up in dead-end relationships where the guy is afraid to "take the next step," and why people write silly books like He's Just Not That Into You.

- Warren

it's a little more than that. men tend to select on looks (maybe there's a reason we're so visual beyond chucking spears), and women tend to select on resources.

 

[Cyrus]

it's a little more than that. men tend to select on looks (maybe there's a reason we're so visual beyond chucking spears), and women tend to select on resources.

because women get stuck with babies for 18 years and men don't.

 

[zoobyshoe]

yeah, that's just the way women are. better watch out or they'll be trying to steal your man!

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10966-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-your-friends.html

and guys, this is the way you want to choose your profile pics for online dating: with the type of girl you'd like to date looking at you adoringly.

Women found the men who were being smiled at suddenly more attractive, while men who apparently elicited no such smiling approval were pronounced less attractive.

It's absolutely true. Simply having one girl attracted to a guy makes more girls attracted to him.

 

[turbo]

I am an old guy. Even one or two girls that showed an interest in me had a huge effect. I had had I had no money to commute with, so U of A Tuscon and other schools that wanted me on my SAT scores and others, didn't fare well. I ended up at a state UNI, and realistically, my best chance of advancing in astronomy would have involved getting a junior fellowship in instrumentation and getting experience that would have boosted me into advanced programs.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Perhaps I'm a tad bitter but guys seem to be a whole lot more demanding in a mate. It's contrary to popular opinions, I know, but if a guy dates someone who everyone thinks is weird or sub-par, he'll never hear the end of it from his guys friends. I once dated someone who I thought was cute and while my friends didn't agree, they acknowledged that I must've seen something in him that made him worth keeping. A guy friend of mine was in a similar situation but all his friends could say was "Do you put a bag over her head when you're alone together? Haha!" even though he explained that she was funny, caring, and a nice person.

I've found that women talk poorly of their friends choices in dating material just as much as men. Men though are more likely to say it to your face and usually just consider it a way of making fun of their friend (making fun of each other is a passtime for males) while women will make it an actual topic of conversation.

 

[DaveC426913]

while women will make it an actual topic of conversation.

The 'tend and befriend' reflex.

 

[zoobyshoe]

The 'tend and befriend' reflex.

What's the "'tend and befriend' reflex"?

 

[Lancelot59]

I would like to know as well. :/

 

[wildman]

How can an intelligent woman be a believer?

Question:
What do these fellows have in common?

Isaac Newton
Georg Canter
Kurt Godel
Francis Collins

Answer:
They are (or were) all believers and they are (or were) all more than likely more intelligent then thou or anyone else on this forum. Please to imply that those who don't agree with one's belief system are not intelligent is very arrogant.

 

[Lancelot59]

Personally I like girls that aren't so...girly. If that makes sense.

Women without all the excess sass. Someone who likes to get their hands dirty, and work is someone I can relate to.

 

[Werg22]

Question:
What do these fellows have in common?

Isaac Newton
Georg Canter
Kurt Godel
Francis Collins

Answer:
They are (or were) all believers and they are (or were) all more than likely more intelligent then thou or anyone else on this forum. Please to imply that those who don't agree with one's belief system are not intelligent is very arrogant.

Seconded. I know a very intelligent, very pretty girl who is also a very strong believer. We may not agree on matters of religion, but I still think she's a delightful person. A very good friend. Whoever dates her is one lucky fellow.

 

[Moonbear]

Personally I like girls that aren't so...girly. If that makes sense.

Women without all the excess sass. Someone who likes to get their hands dirty, and work is someone I can relate to.

I don't think it's just nerdy guys who go for that. When I had the movers moving my furniture last week, the one single guy in the group was definitely hitting on me and flirting rather mercilessly just because I could pop a door off the hinges and connect my own washer and dryer! Seriously, that's all it took, and both are so simple to do. I was paying by the hour for the move, so I sure wasn't letting them waste time doing those things for me when they could be carrying other stuff to rooms that didn't need doors removed to fit the furniture in.

 

[turbo]

Personally I like girls that aren't so...girly. If that makes sense.

Women without all the excess sass. Someone who likes to get their hands dirty, and work is someone I can relate to.

Definitely. My wife wants a (rather large) raised-bed garden on the front lawn, and yesterday, despite the muggy weather and the black flies she and I worked out in a neighbor's woodlot tearing down an old stone wall for materials. While I was driving the tractor back here to dump the front-end loader, she kept selecting and piling up stones so by the time I got back into the woods, there were usually enough stones to refill the loader. Some of them, she had to tumble end-over-end - they were too heavy for one person to lift and it took both of us to get them into the bucket.

I can't imagine spending my life with someone who was too vain to risk some fly-bites and chipped nails to collaborate on a project like that. Next weekend, we're going to plant our vegetable garden - a couple of sweaty, black-fly-filled days, but it will be nice to have everything in the ground.

 

[Lancelot59]

Ditto to that. Only thing is women like that are pretty rare amongst the hordes of...sheep these days.

 

[Howers]

Most of my friends, much like myself, look for brains and looks. It also helps if you have food.

 

[Lancelot59]

Food is always a good thing.

Although you have to admit on the initial pass looks come over brains.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Although you have to admit on the initial pass looks come over brains.

I generally like geeky looking women. I think that glasses are dead sexy. Its always disappointing when an attractive woman with glasses turns out to be a ditz when she opens her mouth.

 

[Lancelot59]

Yeah, glasses can add to a look quite nicely.

 

[Kronos5253]

Most of my friends, much like myself, look for brains and looks. It also helps if you have food.

Not just have food. To be able to cook haha I love food, but never really learned how to cook aside from a mean grilled-cheese (though I currently am learning from my fiance), so knowing how to cook is a huge plus!

 

[Lancelot59]

Not just have food. To be able to cook haha I love food, but never really learned how to cook aside from a mean grilled-cheese (though I currently am learning from my fiance), so knowing how to cook is a huge plus!

I love my grilled cheese sandwich, although I call it "Cheese Toast".

 

[LydiaAC]

Personally I like girls that aren't so...girly. If that makes sense.

Women without all the excess sass. Someone who likes to get their hands dirty, and work is someone I can relate to.

It makes perfect sense to me. But this work in both ways. Men who are "too manly" are not nice.
Maybe it works in more senses, and not only for dating.
I don't like Americans who are "too American", nor Mexicans who are "too Mexican", Catholics who are "too catholic" or Jews who are "too Jew".

By the way, in Mexico, mothers work hard to convince their daughters that changing your tire or cleaning the posts of your battery is wrong and would cause that "you never marry".
LydiaAC

 

[Lancelot59]

I really dislike stereotypes like that. It's so old fashioned.

 

[LydiaAC]

I really dislike stereotypes like that. It's so old fashioned.

Our brain works through stereotypes: it is the way in which it try to solve the inverse problems it faces everyday.
It is ideal to have a fresh mind anytime you meet a new person, but it is hard.
However, the worst stereotypes are not those that other people apply on you, but those that people apply on themselves.
For me, it is hard to stay rational when I meet a people who think they duty is to show everybody they are "stereotypes walking"

 

[Redbelly98]

... yesterday, despite the muggy weather and the black flies she and I worked out in a neighbor's woodlot ...

Wow Turbo. Did you two seriously not mind the bites? Though from what I remember of the one time I encountered them, if you keep moving along they don't bother you.

Black fly bites are not ordinary insect bites.

 

[Moonbear]

By the way, in Mexico, mothers work hard to convince their daughters that changing your tire or cleaning the posts of your battery is wrong and would cause that "you never marry".
LydiaAC

There might be something to that...afterall, why bother marrying if you can do all that stuff yourself? My boyfriend happened to call me one day while I was ogling the lawnmower that worked like a Roomba being demonstrated at the mall...my comment about it to him was, "It's so cool...another toy to make men obsolete!"

 

[mcknia07]

I've been looking for the perfect nerdy guy and I think I have found him, only one problem...he is leaving this summer for college in Florida. My best friend(who just got married) was trying to set me up with him, she knows me all too well. She kinda had a few guys there for me to "pick" from, she just wants to see me with a good guy, and heck, if they are like the guy we both picked, I hope he likes me too, lol.

He is sweet, nerdy, cute, and thoughtful, plus many other things...

 

[Lancelot59]

There might be something to that...afterall, why bother marrying if you can do all that stuff yourself?\

Well historically in Hispanic society men did all the mechanical work and women handled all the in-house chores.

Now days the system is fading away, but it is still there.

The older generation try to enforce their morals, and so propagate the flawed system instead of allowing progress. Same reason why racism was such a rampant thing years ago.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Well historically in Hispanic society men did all the mechanical work and women handled all the in-house chores.

Now days the system is fading away, but it is still there.

The older generation try to enforce their morals, and so propagate the flawed system instead of allowing progress. Same reason why racism was such a rampant thing years ago.

I believe the primary issue is with the idea of an independant woman. Some men don't like the idea of a woman who does not need them.