What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[Kronos5253]

Most of my friends, much like myself, look for brains and looks. It also helps if you have food.

Not just have food. To be able to cook haha I love food, but never really learned how to cook aside from a mean grilled-cheese (though I currently am learning from my fiance), so knowing how to cook is a huge plus!

 

[Lancelot59]

Not just have food. To be able to cook haha I love food, but never really learned how to cook aside from a mean grilled-cheese (though I currently am learning from my fiance), so knowing how to cook is a huge plus!

I love my grilled cheese sandwich, although I call it "Cheese Toast".

 

[LydiaAC]

Personally I like girls that aren't so...girly. If that makes sense.

Women without all the excess sass. Someone who likes to get their hands dirty, and work is someone I can relate to.

It makes perfect sense to me. But this work in both ways. Men who are "too manly" are not nice.
Maybe it works in more senses, and not only for dating.
I don't like Americans who are "too American", nor Mexicans who are "too Mexican", Catholics who are "too catholic" or Jews who are "too Jew".

By the way, in Mexico, mothers work hard to convince their daughters that changing your tire or cleaning the posts of your battery is wrong and would cause that "you never marry".
LydiaAC

 

[Lancelot59]

I really dislike stereotypes like that. It's so old fashioned.

 

[LydiaAC]

I really dislike stereotypes like that. It's so old fashioned.

Our brain works through stereotypes: it is the way in which it try to solve the inverse problems it faces everyday.
It is ideal to have a fresh mind anytime you meet a new person, but it is hard.
However, the worst stereotypes are not those that other people apply on you, but those that people apply on themselves.
For me, it is hard to stay rational when I meet a people who think they duty is to show everybody they are "stereotypes walking"

 

[Redbelly98]

... yesterday, despite the muggy weather and the black flies she and I worked out in a neighbor's woodlot ...

Wow Turbo. Did you two seriously not mind the bites? Though from what I remember of the one time I encountered them, if you keep moving along they don't bother you.

Black fly bites are not ordinary insect bites.

 

[Moonbear]

By the way, in Mexico, mothers work hard to convince their daughters that changing your tire or cleaning the posts of your battery is wrong and would cause that "you never marry".
LydiaAC

There might be something to that...afterall, why bother marrying if you can do all that stuff yourself? My boyfriend happened to call me one day while I was ogling the lawnmower that worked like a Roomba being demonstrated at the mall...my comment about it to him was, "It's so cool...another toy to make men obsolete!"

 

[mcknia07]

I've been looking for the perfect nerdy guy and I think I have found him, only one problem...he is leaving this summer for college in Florida. My best friend(who just got married) was trying to set me up with him, she knows me all too well. She kinda had a few guys there for me to "pick" from, she just wants to see me with a good guy, and heck, if they are like the guy we both picked, I hope he likes me too, lol.

He is sweet, nerdy, cute, and thoughtful, plus many other things...

 

[Lancelot59]

There might be something to that...afterall, why bother marrying if you can do all that stuff yourself?\

Well historically in Hispanic society men did all the mechanical work and women handled all the in-house chores.

Now days the system is fading away, but it is still there.

The older generation try to enforce their morals, and so propagate the flawed system instead of allowing progress. Same reason why racism was such a rampant thing years ago.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Well historically in Hispanic society men did all the mechanical work and women handled all the in-house chores.

Now days the system is fading away, but it is still there.

The older generation try to enforce their morals, and so propagate the flawed system instead of allowing progress. Same reason why racism was such a rampant thing years ago.

I believe the primary issue is with the idea of an independant woman. Some men don't like the idea of a woman who does not need them.

 

[lisab]

I believe the primary issue is with the idea of an independant woman. Some men don't like the idea of a woman who does not need them.

I think that's true, SA. Those men should discover how much nicer it is to be wanted than just needed.

 

[Lancelot59]

I think that's true, SA. Those men should discover how much nicer it is to be wanted than just needed.

I agree. If I ever do find a woman who strikes my fancy, I don't want her to be dependant on me. I like the idea of an independent woman. I don't want to be a trophy husband just because I'm capable. I just want to be loved for being me.

 

[damtin]

Being a nerdy guy I like the girl who is more sexy, intellegent, athletic, and good looking.

 

[John37]

You got to be attracted to one another
have the same goals out of life
near enough the same intelligence

 

[Lancelot59]

near enough the same intelligence

Stupidity loves company!

Although you do have some relationships where one is completely silly in the head, and the other is decently smart.

 

[Galatea]

I haven't really noticed that nerdy guys' preferences are much different from those of non-nerdy guys.

 

[LydiaAC]

There might be something to that...afterall, why bother marrying if you can do all that stuff yourself? My boyfriend happened to call me one day while I was ogling the lawnmower that worked like a Roomba being demonstrated at the mall...my comment about it to him was, "It's so cool...another toy to make men obsolete!"

We can relax and enjoy this kind of jokes, but I always have a bad feeling about that.
The equality of sexes is not only about women. Independent of the global score, it is important to avoid any unfairness against men.
It is difficult to know, because in order to detect suffering you must understand the feelings of the sufferer and the feelings of men are difficult to understand for women.
Two unfairness I have detected are
1.-Circumcision
2.-Alimony to ex-wifes without a valid justification (domestic work or caring of children contributed)

In March, in the kindergarten of my son, they did a Spring festival. Some boys were dressed as ladybugs. Most of them looked happy but one of them was crying. He was a little taller than the rest so I imagined he was more conscious of the implications of his costume. He disciplined himself and between tears, sang the spring song. The teacher and his mother ignored his tears and were laughing at the matter. It seemed cruelty to me. I am not sure what happened in his mind, I did not talk to him but... why should you sing when you are crying? Independent of the reason, it was obvious he was not comfortable.

I would like to understand more the inside of men. I have a son, so this is important to me.

However, men do not help.

LydiaAC

 

[rootX]

Re: What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

I don't know what exactly "nerdy" means in here but assuming myself being one, after coming home at 1:15 AM and finding that I don't have any more ramen noodles to eat, I would like someone to care of that Right now, I would just like any girl (or robot) who can cook food lol

My friend was talking other day about how his girlfriend cooks everyday but he need to wash dishes and spend a lot of time on her.

I just bought some pizza pops!

 

[Sourabh N]

As Einstein said, a true lover is someone who turns into a pizza at 4 AM

 

[cristo]

Right now, I would just like any girl (or robot) who can cook food lol

Wow, you sound like the catch of the century; bet you've got the girls lining up!

Seriously, why don't you just learn to cook yourself?

 

[Lancelot59]

Cooking is a very important life skill to have. It's almost as important as knowing how to bathe, or eat.

 

[Kronos5253]

Cooking is a very important life skill to have. It's almost as important as knowing how to bathe, or eat.

Agreed. I think if you know how to eat, you should know how to cook.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Knowing how to cook is one thing. Knowing how to cook well is something else entirely. Imagine living your life with a partner and between the two of you the best you can do in the kitchen is to whip up something edible and most of the time you eat fast food or frozen dinners because it tastes a whole lot better.

 

[Sourabh N]

And that's where "she" enters. I can cook, but cooking well (like my mom, or the future my girl) is a totally different thing.

 

[Lancelot59]

Isn't this why we invented cookbooks? With easy to follow instructions?

 

[Kurdt]

Buy dried noodles. Pour on hot water. Consume.

 

[drizzlekizzle]

any girl that looks at them for over 3 seconds

 

[jason12345]

Nerdy guys like nerdy girls, in the main, but with different qualities that complement the qualities nerdy guys don't have and vice versa. For example both liking maths and physics would be a good combination, with one an engineer, the other a physicist for some. For others it might be a combination of someone into science going with someone into the arts.

Have a look at the people nerdy adults eventually marry:

Ed Witten is married to a female physicist
Wiles, the guy who solved Fermat's last theorem, is married to a biologist.

Which seems to indicate that like does attract like. Yet Kurt Godel, one of the greatest nerds of all time with no social skills whatsoever, married a dancer; Paul Dirac married to a non scientist, are classic cases of someone being attracted to someone with qualities they don't have.

 

[G01]

Another way to make a nerd fall in love with you is to correctly use movie references.
Srs.

To be specific:

Cult Movie References

If a girl can effectively use cult movie references, then she's a winner in my book.

I once met a girl who effectively used the movie quote:

"I don't roll on shabbas!"

It figures she was engaged...So how nerdy are you guys? What movie?

 

[Lancelot59]

Perhaps it's not the fact that those people were scientists and engineers. It's that they exhibit certain personality traits that are more common to scientists and engineers.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

So how nerdy are you guys? What movie?

"Why so serious?" might be a win.

"**** the front row! / **** the back row!" is sort of a win some lose some.

But if a woman quoted me this or even part of it...
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tan Hauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain."

 

[DaveC426913]

You had me at

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe..."

One of my all time favourite speeches. I memorized it.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

You had me atOne of my all time favourite speeches. I memorized it.

Mine too. Its also the only really good movie quote I can even remember.
Tried thinking of others but none came to me.

 

[Redbelly98]

Do today's nerds still like Monty Python? Quoting from the Holy Grail and Life of Brian would have hooked me when I was younger and single.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Do today's nerds still like Monty Python? Quoting from the Holy Grail and Life of Brian would have hooked me when I was younger and single.

Monty Python is actually the source of most of the nerdy quotes I have heard from women. Them and Eddie Izzard. I think they like english accents.

 

[Lancelot59]

I never actually saw The Life of Brian, but The Holy Grail has tons of hilarious quotes...although I can never think of using them in that sort of situation.

 

[catabelle]

the post by junglebeast up there has intruiged me, as its the oppostie of what i usually find. I find that guys who are 'geeky' (not a phrase i use really but you know what i mean) are totally intimidated by an attractive woman. I find that the guys I am attracted to because of their intelligence and nature always seem to date unnatractive/less attractive/very average looking women. I have always found it hard to find a guy that can keep me interested for long, I am a clever woman, and have excelled in many different fields and the latest course of study for me has been physics, in which i am again doing very well. Now, i have spoken to men online (not dating or anything though!) who have found this intelligence very attractive, but when they have seen me they actually back off, I once or twice asked what the problem was and got told that they considered themselves not good looking enough or one used the phrase i was 'out of his league'. This just seems ridiculous! Do clever men only want intelligence because they feel insecure about being with an attractive woman but are able to feel equal and comfortable with a less attractive clever woman?! Also, I have found that when i am out and approached by a guy and we start to talk, he is all interested until i mention my previous career/studies, then he seems to think I am some kind of brainiacgeekfreak and back off..so do non science/geek guys only want looks but not want intelligence!? I once tested this out by telling a guy i was a sales assistant and I am telling you he was interested for far longer than if id told the truth! SO maybe..just maybe..i should find a really clever guy and wear a big body suit and a hulk mask and he'll not shy off!haha. but the post i referred to is interesting as I am absolutely a risk taker, a born adventurer, a social animal, and clever, and although i can see that guys can list these as attractive traits in a mate, I really don't think its what they want at all..I think that geeky guys want security, and that has to come with a certain amount of less desirable traits.

 

[Evo]

the post by junglebeast up there has intruiged me, as its the oppostie of what i usually find. I find that guys who are 'geeky' (not a phrase i use really but you know what i mean) are totally intimidated by an attractive woman. I find that the guys I am attracted to because of their intelligence and nature always seem to date unnatractive/less attractive/very average looking women.

You will find that not to be the rule here. The smart women on this forum are all quite beautiful, definitely above average, but that goes for the men as well.

 

[catabelle]

well in that case I'm glad i stumbled across this forum today! And perhaps I will be convinced that this is the case..I'm certainly open to being proved wrong! Maybe it's an english thing!? haha.

 

[cristo]

Maybe it's an english thing!? haha.

I doubt it: this isn't an American only forum!

 

[catabelle]

well obviously it's not..Im english myself and I'm here, so.. anyway, I think its an interesting topic, but surely is one that has no definitive answer, so I suppose it all boils down to personal preferences, as it does for what any person finds attractive

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

the post by junglebeast up there has intruiged me...

Most men are simply intimidated by women that are as, or more, intelligent and successful. Geeks by contrast tend to be more secure in these areas but less secure in their looks so are often intimidated by incredibly attractive women. Most of the geeky guys I have known have the story of the one mind bogglingly attractive woman they have dated that broke their heart. When you have been convinced that "yes you are absolutely good enough" only to later be told "sorry I was wrong" it is rather difficult to repair one's confidence.

Another possibility is that these guys sincerely consider these women attractive whom you find less than attractive. Most of the geeky men I know have quirky taste in women. You never know, it may be that the first girl they ever kissed had glasses, braces, kinky hair, and enough freckles to blot out the sun.

 

[catabelle]

yeah that has often been my thought, that it is me that has the unusual and perhaps too typical view of what makes an attractive woman. However, I have had men and women alike agree on the attractiveness of the women I have known who have dated geeky men.

You're also right in the story that these geeky men have about the one attractive woman that ended in sorrow..so perhaps that too is a factor in their later relationships being with women of a different type of attractiveness/different level of attractiveness.
But I do still feel it is something more to do with intimidation in a lot, (but I am sure not all) cases. Which is a shame, because if these guys knew just how attractive a man who I can discuss string theory with is, wow, they'd be sure that I didnt consider them unnatractive at all! haha.

(by the way - loving the tom waits quote. The man's a genius, bring on the imaginarium and him being the devil!)

 

[Evo]

The men on here all seem to have very attractive wives, girlfriends and boyfriends. And a lot of those women are also scientists.

 

[catabelle]

we're not saying they dont/arent..there are lots of attractive people in the world who are clever too. we're speaking in generalisations, which is what most forums are about, its generalising as if you took every case individually it'd be a proper study, but I am only giving my general observations

 

[Evo]

we're not saying they dont/arent..there are lots of attractive people in the world who are clever too. we're speaking in generalisations, which is what most forums are about, its generalising as if you took every case individually it'd be a proper study, but I am only giving my general observations

Check out our member photo thread. Be prepared to drool.

 

[Lancelot59]

we're not saying they dont/arent..there are lots of attractive people in the world who are clever too. we're speaking in generalisations, which is what most forums are about, its generalising as if you took every case individually it'd be a proper study, but I am only giving my general observations

Perhaps we should run a proper study. It might help settle this once and for all.

 

[Office_Shredder]

The men on here all seem to have very attractive wives, girlfriends and boyfriends. And a lot of those women are also scientists.

Tough luck for the married gays

 

[Evo]

Tough luck for the married gays

Ooops, and the married gay spouses. I forgot that marriage is finally being allowed.

 

[Pythagorean]

1. intellectually stimulating
2. physically attractive
3. spiritually enriching*

(atheist view, not religious. Spiritually enriching, as in, likes to do a lot of different things and interact with the world directly: adventurous, likes to explore, etc)