What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[Pythagorean]

1. intellectually stimulating
2. physically attractive
3. spiritually enriching*

(atheist view, not religious. Spiritually enriching, as in, likes to do a lot of different things and interact with the world directly: adventurous, likes to explore, etc)

edit:
order isn't meant to imply importance. All three are equally important.

 

[Lancelot59]

I have to agree there.

A lot of people will call you boldfacedly shallow for including physically attractive on the list, but it's just one of those things that has to be there.

I really like the third point. Unless that person likes to do things, there's no point in being with them. It would just be...boring.

And no I'm not talking about sex there.

 

[Hurkyl]

2. physically attractive

You're boldfacedly shallow!

 

[catabelle]

Haha..i think that list of 3 is what everyone looks for in a partner, geek or not, male or female, without those things it'd never be the relationship I think most of us hope for.
Yeah I did check out the photo thread hehe..as for a proper study, well i think this would come back to how you measure attractiveness? I'm not sure there is a way in which you can once and for all measure how attractive someone is, because everyone likes different things don't they. I am only reffering to the typical idea of beauty, which of course, not everyone actually likes. And that, can only be a thing to celebrate eh.

 

[Lancelot59]

Yeah, when it comes to physical beauty everyone has their own particular likes/dislikes.

 

[Evo]

Yeah, when it comes to physical beauty everyone has their own particular likes/dislikes.

True, I like skinny, non-muscular guys with longer hair and glasses. :!)

 

[Pythagorean]

True, I like skinny, non-muscular guys with longer hair and glasses. :!)

so does my baby's mama!

 

[Loren Booda]

Face it - some guys are so shy they need an intrepid girl to ask them out. That can bring out natural communication where there was insecurity. (Look at "A Beautiful Mind.")

If there is a next time, hint that it would be for the guy to reciprocate.

 

[mcknia07]

True, I like skinny, non-muscular guys with longer hair and glasses. :!)

Boy, do I have the perfect man for you ...

We do have quite a few here to pick from.

 

[sermatt]

For me, most importantly, she has to have class.

I guess "class" is like a package of intelligence, good looks, confidence, style, and, as was mentioned before, risk-taking.

Much like Audrey Hepburn or that gorgeous dame from the new Stella Artois commercial.

But then again, I'll never get either one, so :)

 

[catabelle]

thats a good answer sermatt.. class is something i think is important generally. Audrey hepburn as holly golightly has all those things..just a shame she was basically a hooker that didnt put out..maybe that takes away from the class hehe.
And don't put yourself down eh, you wouldn't want hepburn these days anyway..!

 

[mal4mac]

I would just go up to them and ask "where are you taking me Friday night?" It always worked.

Blimey I'd run for the hills in a state of shock. Than again, I'm a British nerd. That's a whole new level of nerdiness!

 

[Kurdt]

Hey! It worked on me and I'm a nerd too.

 

[cristo]

Just noticed this, so figured I'd reply...

I am a nerdy guy who is 23 and in college. I have 3 qualities that I look for in a girl.

1. Intelligents
2. Ambition
3. Atheist

Intelligents is a big one for me.

I think it's quite ironic that a guy looking for intelligence in a girl doesn't know how to spell it!

I also like a girl who has ambition in life, for example pursuing a PhD or wanting to become a research scientist or doctor or something of the sort.

Sorry, but why does "ambition" equate to either doing a PhD or wanting to be a doctor? That's an incredibly naive viewpoint.

I honestly have never met a girl that met all three of these qualities, which is why I haven't had a gf in the past couple years.

That's not all that surprising, given that you have an incredibly restrictive set of criteria that one must meet!

 

[marlon]

Just for your information, what non nerdy guys -like me- look for in a girl is hard to explain in words so i will provide you with the following visual example :

http://www.topnews.in/files/JenniferLoveHewitt.jpg

marlon

 

[thomasxc]

i like long legs and a high IQ.

 

[KingNothing]

Beauty.
Class.
Wearing a Dress.

 

[marlon]

Beauty.
Class.
Wearing a Dress.

marlon

 

[catabelle]

Blimey I'd run for the hills in a state of shock. Than again, I'm a British nerd. That's a whole new level of nerdiness!

I do agree with this, british nerds are a different kettle of fish altogether from american ones, so I've found anyway. But this is no bad thing, I love english nerds..which is just as well, as I am english myself!

This thread is great, everytime i check it it's making me laugh!

 

[drankin]

Boobies. Nerdy guys like boobies.

 

[thomasxc]

boobies. Nerdy guys like boobies.

:-) ...

 

[Evo]

Hey! It worked on me and I'm a nerd too.

And you're a British nerd, but you're my nerd.

 

[B. Elliott]

I've always been attracted to women who are into natural sciences. One time a girl I took out on a first date mentioned the word 'Precambrian' when I told her I collect fossils.

I immediately fell in love.

 

[Sourabh N]

True, I like skinny, non-muscular guys with longer hair and glasses. :!)

ZOMG Evo! Gimme your number!:!)

 

[MissSilvy]

One thing that really gets my goat though, is some guys in my classes who whine about how girls don't like them because of their looks but all they care about in a potential date is 'she has to be hot and not a fattie'.

...What?

 

[Pythagorean]

One thing that really gets my goat though, is some guys in my classes who whine about how girls don't like them because of their looks but all they care about in a potential date is 'she has to be hot and not a fattie'.

...What?

There's a lot of stipulation in our culture that men are more concerned with looks and women are more concerned with personality.

 

[MissSilvy]

There's a lot of stipulation in our culture that men are more concerned with looks and women are more concerned with personality.

Which is a bit of a lie and a bad double standard. Common sense, anyone? It sounds like the kind of crap published in those books for people who want to become 'players' or whatever perverts are doing these days.

And everyone thinks they have a wonderful personality. Looks are somewhat harder to b.s.

 

[Loren Booda]

Even here in Arlington, VA (55% female) many guys are so proud as not to ask women out unless they are a "ten." One of them must be unattainable.

I used to be a "nerd-jock-head-punk" but now I prefer nerd to any other. I see nerd as most respectable.

 

[marlon]

One of them must be unattainable.

Indeed, because you don't want to wind up in a "the hunt was better than the catch" type of situation.

marlon

 

[drankin]

Which is a bit of a lie and a bad double standard. Common sense, anyone? It sounds like the kind of crap published in those books for people who want to become 'players' or whatever perverts are doing these days.

And everyone thinks they have a wonderful personality. Looks are somewhat harder to b.s.

I'm not sure what you mean but it is true that men (there are exceptions) are more "sexually" attracted to attractive women (hence the term). I don't think it's a cultural thing, I think it's a nature thing.

 

[Pinu7]

Any girl that would not mind the fact that my bedroom walls are completely covered with whiteboards with equations on them.

 

[fileen]

I knew my boyfriend for a few years before we dated. He is so nerdy I don't even think he realized I was female at first. I kept trying to hint but subtlety is not his strong suit, and we had been friends for so long he just wasnt getting it. I ended up going with a low cut top revealing my double D breasts and a request to fix my computer. I then pretended to be interested in how he was fixing the stupid thing and suddenly we were together. We have been together for four years, and I still have to be mildly interested in computers so if youre going to go that route make sure youre not lying about yourself completely. I have no clue what he is talking about most of the time but my inclination to try to figure it out seems to be good enough. Sometimes I actually learn stuff and my computer skills have definitely increased. I think my breasts may still be my top selling point after all this time. I think the one thing that really makes it work for us is that he's into the more computer programing side of nerdiness, and I am an aspiring med/vet student so we have very different areas of expertise. It probably helps that I am also a bit of a nerd though. We enjoy our nintendo wii and webcomics.

 

[drankin]

I knew my boyfriend for a few years before we dated. He is so nerdy I don't even think he realized I was female at first. I kept trying to hint but subtlety is not his strong suit, and we had been friends for so long he just wasnt getting it. I ended up going with a low cut top revealing my double D breasts and a request to fix my computer. I then pretended to be interested in how he was fixing the stupid thing and suddenly we were together. We have been together for four years, and I still have to be mildly interested in computers so if youre going to go that route make sure youre not lying about yourself completely. I have no clue what he is talking about most of the time but my inclination to try to figure it out seems to be good enough. Sometimes I actually learn stuff and my computer skills have definitely increased. I think my breasts may still be my top selling point after all this time. I think the one thing that really makes it work for us is that he's into the more computer programing side of nerdiness, and I am an aspiring med/vet student so we have very different areas of expertise. It probably helps that I am also a bit of a nerd though. We enjoy our nintendo wii and webcomics.

Like I said, boobies. Nerdy guys like boobies.

 

[MissSilvy]

I'm not faulting guys for being more attracted to attractive women, but I am laughing at the hypocrisy of not expecting the reverse to happen to them. Based on the number of offers I get, I seem to be quite attractive enough.

 

[fileen]

attractiveness is wierd. I had a friend who was drop dead gorgeous, but guys only went on one date with her ever. She was so confused about why she can't keep guys around and always claimed they were intimidated by her beauty. She convinced herself she just needed to find someone as attractive as herself. She was an aspiring model and knew she was hot. As soon as you realized this she was a lot less attractive. She was extremely arrogant and it eventually ended our friendship. I am not bad looking, but I am certainly no model, I find that the physical attractiveness is a good place to start, but if youre lacking in personality, then your looks don't account for much any more. It use to make her really mad when guys would take her out and then never call her again, but she assumed everyone wanted her and that her physical attractiveness was all she had to worry about.

 

[drankin]

I'm not faulting guys for being more attracted to attractive women, but I am laughing at the hypocrisy of not expecting the reverse to happen to them. Based on the number of offers I get, I seem to be quite attractive enough.

There is a definate difference between what men find attractive (tends to be visual attractiveness) and women tend to find attractive (alpha-male qualities that do not require physical attractiveness). I'm generalizing but what matters to a man about a woman is not the same as what matters to a woman about a man.

 

[MissSilvy]

We're talking about nerds here. I hardly think any girl who loves nerds (myself included) does so because they take charge, are particularly assertive, beat up other men, or do a hundred pull ups in a row. So that theory's shot :)

 

[Pinu7]

Like I said, boobies. Nerdy guys like boobies.

Boobies? Where?

 

[fileen]

We're talking about nerds here. I hardly think any girl who loves nerds (myself included) does so because they take charge, are particularly assertive, beat up other men, or do a hundred pull ups in a row. So that theory's shot :)

Ya I have always been one to claim to be attracted to smartness or cleverness rather than nerdiness. I think nerds are the stereotypical smart, but anyone with clear intelligence gets me going. A nerd without the smarts is less attractive, so I am thinking its not so much a physical thing for me. I think I am initially attracted to the nerdy image because it suggests intelligence. I am also attracted to people who are not bound by social expectations and restrictions. I like someone who can be themselves without needing approval from me, or anyone else for that matter.

 

[drankin]

attractiveness is wierd. I had a friend who was drop dead gorgeous, but guys only went on one date with her ever. She was so confused about why she can't keep guys around and always claimed they were intimidated by her beauty. She convinced herself she just needed to find someone as attractive as herself. She was an aspiring model and knew she was hot. As soon as you realized this she was a lot less attractive. She was extremely arrogant and it eventually ended our friendship. I am not bad looking, but I am certainly no model, I find that the physical attractiveness is a good place to start, but if youre lacking in personality, then your looks don't account for much any more. It use to make her really mad when guys would take her out and then never call her again, but she assumed everyone wanted her and that her physical attractiveness was all she had to worry about.

I would surmize that she is actually very insecure. And I've heard this a lot about models from buddies who have dated them. They're great to look at but can be so insecure that you have to dump them before they drive you mad. Strippers aren't such a hassle but you have to stand in line and the companionship is brief.

I'm a nerd by nature but I am model material, if I cared to be one. I always been attracted to tough natured women (thanks a lot, mom) and am now I'm married to one. This is the most difficult woman I've ever been with... I'm rambling.

I should have stuck with the sexy mindless type. But there is a saying in Alaska (where I spent my high school to you adult years), "you don't lose your woman, you just lose your turn".

 

[drankin]

We're talking about nerds here. I hardly think any girl who loves nerds (myself included) does so because they take charge, are particularly assertive, beat up other men, or do a hundred pull ups in a row. So that theory's shot :)

I live in Microsoft land, Redmond, WA. I've seen plenty of nerds (that aren't particulary hunky) hook up with pretty, but dominant women. But that wasn't my point.

Woman, in general, are attracted to confident, assertive, successful men. Regardless of their looks. Men, on the other hand, nerds or not, are attracted to looks first. It's just the nature of being a man. They tend to start there and begin going through the rest of a womans qualities. Intelligent or not, we are still men.

 

[BobG]

And a lot of those women are also scientists.

I'll never date another rocket scientist. The one time I did, it ended in sorrow.

 

[Evo]

My nerdy BF preferred small breasts. He has made an exception for me.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

We're talking about nerds here. I hardly think any girl who loves nerds (myself included) does so because they take charge, are particularly assertive, beat up other men, or do a hundred pull ups in a row. So that theory's shot :)

Mr. Macho isn't the only type of domineering male there is. A man can be a skinny little geek and still be assertive and confident intellectually. Most intellegent women I have met (and women attracted to intelligence in general) seem to like the idea of a man who can at least keep up with them intellectually if not run circles around them. There are also the more rare domineering women who look for shy submissive men and often steer towards geeks. But even in this I think they are often really looking for a man who could potentially challenge them on the one level that most macho men can not.

I live in Microsoft land, Redmond, WA. I've seen plenty of nerds (that aren't particulary hunky) hook up with pretty, but dominant women. But that wasn't my point.

Woman, in general, are attracted to confident, assertive, successful men. Regardless of their looks. Men, on the other hand, nerds or not, are attracted to looks first. It's just the nature of being a man. They tend to start there and begin going through the rest of a womans qualities. Intelligent or not, we are still men.

Women still pay attention to looks. Its just that many of them tend to have a rather different idea of what makes someone physically attractive. And many of the women who say they do not like muscular guys are lying. I don't know how many women I have heard say that and then stare drooling at some buff guy with his shirt off. They likely just don't like the sort of personality that usually accompanies that sort of physique. Not to say that there are no women out there who do not like buff guys of course.

 

[Evo]

I'll never date another rocket scientist. The one time I did, it ended in sorrow.

That's not the new girlfiend is it?

 

[drankin]

Mr. Macho isn't the only type of domineering male there is. A man can be a skinny little geek and still be assertive and confident intellectually. Most intellegent women I have met (and women attracted to intelligence in general) seem to like the idea of a man who can at least keep up with them intellectually if not run circles around them. There are also the more rare domineering women who look for shy submissive men and often steer towards geeks. But even in this I think they are often really looking for a man who could potentially challenge them on the one level that most macho men can not.


Women still pay attention to looks. Its just that many of them tend to have a rather different idea of what makes someone physically attractive. And many of the women who say they do not like muscular guys are lying. I don't know how many women I have heard say that and then stare drooling at some buff guy with his shirt off. They likely just don't like the sort of personality that usually accompanies that sort of physique. Not to say that there are no women out there who do not like buff guys of course.

I agree. When women are looking for a "relationship" they tend to stay away from the the studlies and go for the more manageable nerdy type. Smart, stupid, doesn't matter as much as long as they are confident, solid, and can give push those feminine buttons. But they aren't always going for a relationship, sometimes "Girls just want to have fun".

 

[BobG]

That's not the new girlfiend is it?

Not anymore.

 

[Evo]

Not anymore.

Oh no, Bob. I am so sorry. Want to talk about it?

 

[kldickson]

Me?

I prefer people I can intellectually spar with who are up to my intellectual level.

People, if they have a partner, should have partners, not... subordinates.

 

[drankin]

Me?

I prefer people I can intellectually spar with who are up to my intellectual level.

People, if they have a partner, should have partners, not... subordinates.

No matter her intellect, I haven't found a woman yet that would hold a "subordinate" status in her relationship. Any man would be looking for trouble to try to hold her to that. LOL