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What is it like to be married ?

  1. Oct 11, 2007 #1

    wolram

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    I mean sticking to one person for years and years, it is hard for me to imagine.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 11, 2007 #2

    Evo

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    You're going to get as many different answers as there are members.
     
  4. Oct 11, 2007 #3

    Ivan Seeking

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    We've been married for over twenty years now.

    Every day is filled with bliss. I wake up every day hearing angels singing.
     
  5. Oct 11, 2007 #4

    wolram

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    May be, i just can not understand the bond that keeps couples together.
     
  6. Oct 11, 2007 #5

    Astronuc

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    As Evo said, there will be a variety of experiences as there are people.

    When a marriage works, it's living with your best friend with both persons working for mutual benefit.

    It's not always bliss, but hopefully the good times and good memories help both get through the rough spots. It is certainly hard work.

    Marriage is full partnership - or is supposed to be - and an interdependent relationship.

    My examples are my grandparents and parents.
     
  7. Oct 11, 2007 #6

    wolram

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    Is you being fed mushrooms, surly your condition is impossible.LOL.
     
  8. Oct 11, 2007 #7
    I've been married almost a year now, so I don't know if my thoughts count yet, but I think I like the way Astronuc put it

    It's not always romance, or angels singing, but it's knowing you have someone you can count on, who will work towards making a better life for both of you. (the romance and angels singing does happen fairly often though)
     
  9. Oct 11, 2007 #8

    wolram

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    Grandad and grandmom lived together for donkeys years, i am sure they could only just tollerate each other.
     
  10. Oct 11, 2007 #9

    wolram

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    Live long and prosper, and happy future anniversary.
     
  11. Oct 11, 2007 #10

    Astronuc

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    My mother's father woke up early to start the fires in the living room and kitchen (they cooked on a wood stove even into the 1960's). He then made tea and two slices of bread with butter and vegemite, and brought them to grandma (nana) every morning. And he did this for as long as I she was alive. She unfortunately died in 1971 due to a misdiagnosed illness.

    As far as I can tell, my grandparents (maternal and paternal) were devoted to each other.

    My parents will observe 51 years of marriage in November. My father has just gone through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. He made the comment that he was glad that he had the support of my mother. They have been there for each other for 50+ years - and they are hoping for as many more years as possible. It is possible that my father's cancer could come back with a vengeance (and he could have a only few years more), and so he makes the most of every day and moment he has - with my mom.
     
  12. Oct 11, 2007 #11

    Evo

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    If you are married to the wrong person, every day can be hell. Unfortunately, you don't find out how wrong they are until after you've been married for awhile. This is why I can't imagine people getting married without having first lived together for at least a year or two.
     
  13. Oct 11, 2007 #12

    wolram

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    Best wishes Astro.
     
  14. Oct 11, 2007 #13

    wolram

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    2 years, that is an eternity, if ones minds do not meld within 2 weeks i would pass.
     
  15. Oct 11, 2007 #14

    Astronuc

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    That is the purpose of dating. The point is to find out about the person before one commits to marriage.
     
  16. Oct 11, 2007 #15

    Curious3141

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    You should be hanging out at Trekkies conventions - best chance to find a soul mate. Or is it katra mate? :rofl:
     
  17. Oct 11, 2007 #16

    Ivan Seeking

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    It is impossible, of course. :biggrin: The way that I see it, and I think Tsu would agree, marriage is a never ending process of learning to adapt as each person changes. First you have to love each other, but learning how to live together never stops. And when times get tough, such as when money is tight, or when there are medical problems, or when there is a death in the family, these are the sorts of times when this can be most difficult. Also, we all continue to grow as we get older, and since no two people will change in identical ways, by definition, over time, in some ways you will grow apart. This can be a challenge as well. But in other ways [hopefully] you grow closer and have tighter bonds.

    In our particular case, we have two very strong personalities anchored by the stubborness of mules, and that is a recipe for fire, but [of course] we have never gotten violent, all in all we find that we have had the same difficulties that most couples do. In fact we have outlasted half of those who got married when we did, so we must be doing something right. But, in the end, I think it comes down to loving each other enough to put up with the rest. There is no way that it will all be easy.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2007
  18. Oct 11, 2007 #17

    turbo

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    I get up each morning thinking what I should do today and part of that thought is wrapped up in the concerns that I share with my partner of 33+ years (more of 32 years of which of which we have been married). I cannot imagine a relationship with my partner in which I held her in lower regard.
     
  19. Oct 11, 2007 #18
    I made a lousey single person. I was bored doing things by myself, with no one to share the stories with. I like haveing a partner to share life with.
     
  20. Oct 11, 2007 #19
    I've been with the same woman for nearly 10 yrs. now and I don't want to get married, because I would rather leave well enough alone.

    To be quite honest we don't have the perfect relationship, but I know enough about them to know that it doesn't get much better than this.

    As Evo said 1 or 2 years. I think that would be the minimum.

    Bottom line is: When the romance is gone(and it will be gone, in most cases anyway), there had better be something to replace it.
    If not it's all over.

    My girlfreind and I do not have a very romantic relationship anymore, but I feel we have graduated to the next level. We offer each other things that noone else can.
    We compliment each other very well, basically I am the hands on and she is the brains.
    And God bless the grandparents of astronuc. It's the simple things in life that count more than anything materialistic.

    Jim
     
  21. Oct 12, 2007 #20
    Eighteen years ago, my wife and I took out a license to fight. Given the forces of repulsion, I don't see how two people who are not married can stay living together for eighteen days. But the court house is too far to walk and besides the forces of attraction have increased over the years. What's more, since I got married, as the song goes, I see better days and I do better things.
     
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