What Makes Men's Friendships Stronger Than Women's?

[Pengwuino]

I will present now a case for why men, whom shall henceforth be known as "the superiors", are better than women, whom shall be known as "the inferiors". The superiors are greater than the inferiors because they use the bathroom for #1, #2, and taking a shower. And each takes less than 10 minutes.

*waits for the bathroom to clear out*

Especially when the inferiors are stupid little girls who are probably just running around in circles in the bathroom when I need to go to the bathroom.

GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM ALREADY!

 

[radou]

Yes, and the inferiors use the bathroom to do their make up, which is of considerable length too, we can refer to this as #3.

 

[xxChrisxx]

This thread delivers.

 

[Pengwuino]

I'm posting this essay on the arXiv.

 

[radou]

Yes, you'll have to present this in a very rigorous manner.

Let's see if there are any counterexamples, first. (Come on, PF women! )

 

[Pengwuino]

Wait a minute, I'm a grown *** man. I don't have to take this from kids.

*Gets his 12 gauge out*

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

My wife agrees. She says I'm better than she is at finding a mate. I like a woman that knows who's superior.

 

[radou]

Wait a minute, I'm a grown *** man. I don't have to take this from kids.

*Gets his 12 gauge out*

This sounds like a serious urge for #2.

 

[radou]

My wife agrees. She says I'm better than she is at finding a mate. I like a woman that knows who's superior.

It seems most of us are (better at finding a mate) - they never do a damn thing, it's all up to us in the first place.

 

[drizzle]

 

[JaredJames]

The superiors are greater than the inferiors because they use the bathroom for #1, #2, and taking a shower.

On first reading I got confused. Thought I'd missed something where women didn't use the bathroom for the above. I'm glad you qualified it with:

And each takes less than 10 minutes.

I must agree with your reasoning.

I'd add it applies to phone conversations too. I rarely spend more than 30 seconds on the phone to anyone and don't know many blokes who do either. Pick up phone, dial, get to the point, hang up. Job done.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

It seems most of us are (better at finding a mate) - they never do a damn thing, it's all up to us in the first place.

A man chases a woman until she catches him.

 

[drankin]

And shopping, get in, get out, scratch it off the list.

 

[radou]

Actually, the thesis could include an attempt to prove that women do everything on the bathroom (including eating, watching tv, etc.). That would be a straight shot for the Fields medal.

 

[JaredJames]

And shopping, get in, get out, scratch it off the list.

Man no need list!

 

[Pengwuino]

Actually, the thesis could include an attempt to prove that women do everything on the bathroom (including eating, watching tv, etc.). That would be a straight shot for the Fields medal.

No because I KNOW they watch tv outside of the bathroom....

 

[Pengwuino]

Man no need list!

Exactly. How hard is it to remember the 12 pack of coke, 30 pieces of meat, and that other thing... whatever it was that I wanted yesterday.

 

[drankin]

There is one thing that the inferiors are superior at. They can create the honey-do list, cook dinner, talk on the phone, paint their nails and have sex all at the same time.

 

[JaredJames]

There is one thing that the inferiors are superior at. They can create the honey-do list, cook dinner, talk on the phone, paint their nails and have sex all at the same time.

Sounds like you ain't no good at sex! Not keeping her entertained.

 

[drankin]

Sounds like you ain't no good at sex! Not keeping her entertained.

That wasn't my point!

 

[Evo]

My ex husband would shower for half an hour, then take a bath for at least an hour, then take another shower for half an hour. He would use up all of the hot water.

He was also a shop-a-holic. Loved to shop, was always buying himself stuff.

 

[Pengwuino]

My ex husband would shower for half an hour, then take a bath for at least an hour, then take another shower for half an hour. He would use up all of the hot water.

He was also a shop-a-holic. Loved to shop, was always buying himself stuff.

What was her name?

 

[JaredJames]

My ex husband would shower for half an hour, then take a bath for at least an hour, then take another shower for half an hour. He would use up all of the hot water.

He was also a shop-a-holic. Loved to shop, was always buying himself stuff.

Sounds like he's well in the closet...

^{(Do I dare do the Narnia joke? Ah what the hell, I'm going for it!)}

So far in the closet, he's having adventures in Narnia.

 

[radou]

What was her name?

 

[Newai]

This man agrees that women are inferior. But this man sure likes these inferiors a lot more than the superiors.

 

[radou]

This man agrees that women are inferior. But this man sure likes these inferiors a lot more than the superiors.

Btw, this gives rise to an interesting definition of homosexuality... superior-superior love?

Edit: actually not, I believe they have their "inferior" and "superior" analogues.

 

[russ_watters]

I will present now a case for why men, whom shall henceforth be known as "the superiors", are better than women, whom shall be known as "the inferiors". The superiors are greater than the inferiors because they use the bathroom for #1, #2, and taking a shower. And each takes less than 10 minutes.

*waits for the bathroom to clear out*

Especially when the inferiors are stupid little girls who are probably just running around in circles in the bathroom when I need to go to the bathroom.

GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM ALREADY!

Men have recently started designing bathrooms to be three separate rooms for exactly this reason.

 

[BobG]

My wife agrees. She says I'm better than she is at finding a mate. I like a woman that knows who's superior.

It seems most of us are (better at finding a mate) - they never do a damn thing, it's all up to us in the first place.

Hmmm. I have to admit that my ex was a lot better at finding a mate than I was.

The other problem with inferiors is that they use too much toilet paper. I can't believe how long a roll of toilet paper lasts now.

 

[Evo]

Men have recently started designing bathrooms to be three separate rooms for exactly this reason.

The master bath in one of my homes had a dressing room, a vanity area, a tub, a shower, and then a separate room for the toilet.

The builder was a genius, he made the most sensible, practical homes in the world.

 

[╔(σ_σ)╝]

100% proven.


Boy it stinks in there what did you do in there mate;#1, 2, 3 or # fouuurrr ?

 

[╔(σ_σ)╝]

Posting in legendary thread and in before Evo's lock.

 

[IMP]

Counterpoint:

Men spend only slightly less time for #1 than women, and women have to take the extra step of getting the toilet seat back down where it belongs and likely cleaned off to. I call it a draw.

Men spend considerably more time for #2, depending on the available reading material.

Women do spend more time in the shower, but this should could FOR the women in my opinion, you want to take off points for their desire to be clean and shaved and presentable for their man?

Women do spend a whole lot of time with makeup etc, but once again I have to give them points for this, not take points away…

 

[BobG]

Women do spend a whole lot of time with makeup etc, but once again I have to give them points for this, not take points away…

Not all spend extra time in the bathroom doing their make up, though. Some wait until they're driving their car.

 

[JaredJames]

Men spend only slightly less time for #1 than women, and women have to take the extra step of getting the toilet seat back down where it belongs and likely cleaned off to. I call it a draw.

Requirement of a toilet seat for #1 in the first place = downside. Compare the number of times you see a queue for the dudes toilet and the womens. Urinals = higher number of people relieving themselves per bathroom space. It just gives women something to complain about when it comes to cleanliness of said seat.

Men spend considerably more time for #2, depending on the available reading material.

Not in my experience. But then I can't do two things at once, so reading ain't an issue.

Women do spend more time in the shower, but this should could FOR the women in my opinion, you want to take off points for their desire to be clean and shaved and presentable for their man?

I'm clean in under ten minutes plus shaved (dry shave).

If that don't do it, see the thread relating to being "too clean".

Women do spend a whole lot of time with makeup etc, but once again I have to give them points for this, not take points away…

Hiding their true looks? Positive for them, potential negative for men.

A friggin' nightmare if they start crying!

 

[radou]

Not in my experience.

In mine neither. Actually, I thing I could go for the Guiness book for the amount of time I spend on #2. I hate sitting on the toilet.

 

[JaredJames]

In mine neither. Actually, I thing I could go for the Guiness book for the amount of time I spend on #2. I hate sitting on the toilet.

Now there'd be an interesting record.

 

[xxChrisxx]

In mine neither. Actually, I thing I could go for the Guiness book for the amount of time I spend on #2. I hate sitting on the toilet.

It's not necessary to be doing the deed to sit on the throne. It's to get some peace and quiet from the missus and to read the paper.

It's all a cunning ruse.

 

[JaredJames]

It's not necessary to be doing the deed to sit on the throne. It's to get some peace and quiet from the missus and to read the paper.

It's all a cunning ruse.

Ssshhhh. You're giving the game away.

 

[radou]

It's not necessary to be doing the deed to sit on the throne. It's to get some peace and quiet from the missus and to read the paper.

It's all a cunning ruse.

Yeah, I'm perfectly aware of that, I just have a problem with sitting above my own faeces.

Although, one of my friends (who is quite the opposite regarding that issue) has a good counterargument - it's better to sit above your own faeces than having them inside you.

 

[mcknia07]

Most men don't put the seat down after they are done, like, come on, it's not a hard or time consuming task. Plus... for goodness sake, make the pee go in the toilet and not every place but! A woman can do both! :)

 

[radou]

Most men don't put the seat down after they are done, like, come on, it's not a hard or time consuming task. Plus... for goodness sake, make the pee go in the toilet and not every place but! A woman can do both! :)

Well, if there are no women living in the house, I don't see a reason why we should put the seat down.

 

[xxChrisxx]

Well, if there are no women living in the house, I don't see a reason why we should put the seat down.

Even then we are only saving vital energy. Women have gravity to aid them when they have to put the seat down. Blokes have to work against gravity.

 

[radou]

Even then we are only saving vital energy. Women have gravity to aid them when they have to put the seat down. Blokes have to work against gravity.

You mean, women are allowed to slam the seat down our of anger?

 

[mcknia07]

Well, if there are no women living in the house, I don't see a reason why we should put the seat down.

True, but when you do finally have one (female) over, you don't want it to totally look like you are barbaric.

 

[radou]

True, but when you do finally have one (female) over, you don't want it to totally look like you are barbaric.

Speaking of barbarism, I think we should all switch to swat closets.

 

[epenguin]

When there is more than one woman a bathroom may also be used as a conference room, though the conferences could take place elsewhere, one imagines.

Now I think about it I admit that men have been known to do this, but only to escape surveillance as in spy films or maybe real life; oh well maybe the motivation is somewhat the same. At one time bathrooms were the only places Soviet scientists could speak freely to Western ones. These days it takes place only at very high level like at Davos, where I imagine the bathrooms are specially designed for conferencing. Or another case was when the then British Prime Minister Brown talked to Obama during a UN conference because that was the only place Obama couldn't avoid him.

 

[JaredJames]

Q. So what have we learned in the last few posts?

A. That women create unnecessary mechanical wear on the toilet seat hinge.

 

[Evo]

The force is strong in this thread.

 

[JaredJames]

wrong not true I am a girl

Wrong you don't put the toilet seat down?

 

[Pattonias]

I contend with the assertion that women take more time when peeing. When I accept the fact that women have bodily functions beyond having to "freshen up" I will assert that my girlfriend can go pee in what would have to be less time than it would take me to walk to the bathroom. I have often observed (much to her annoyance) that it is my belief that she is going on the floor once she is out of sight. She misses nothing when we go to the movie theater as she is gone and back before the current scene ends. I swear that if I sprint to the bathroom and back I can not achieve the same feat.

All this being said I will now return to my belief that women have no bodily functions and merely go to the bathroom to continue looking nice and smelling pretty... And for five days a month she is grouchy and as such doesn't feel like having intercourse... And for no other reason than she is grouchy... Yep