What those words on yearly performance review realy mean

AI Thread Summary
The discussion humorously interprets common phrases found in performance reviews, revealing their underlying meanings. Phrases like "dedication and work ethic" suggest a lack of intelligence, while "creative and innovative methods" imply incompetence, such as locking keys in a closet. Descriptions of being a "quick learner" highlight the absurdity of mishaps, like failing to set a parking brake. The mention of "integrity" stands out as a straightforward compliment without a negative twist. Overall, the conversation critiques the euphemistic language often used in performance evaluations, exposing the gap between positive wording and actual performance issues.
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Every wonder what your boss is really trying to tell on his yearly performace review...

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"People can question his judgment, but they should never question his dedication and work ethic."

Interpretation: "No matter how hard he tries, he's still dumber than rocks."
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"His creative and innovative methods are impossible to duplicate."

Interpretation: "How he could lock the keys inside the closet when you need the key to lock the closet is beyond me!"
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"Quick learner who is able to adapt to unique situations."

Interpretation: "Yeah, sure, he should have set the parking brake, but learning how to unlock the door of a van as it bounces backward down a hill over uneven terrain on a moonless night can't be an easy task to master."
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"A man whose integrity qualifies him for political office."

Interpretation: (none needed)
 
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