Help for Sadness: Solutions & Coping Strategies

[Deniel]

What to do when so...sad?

?

 

[Evo]

What's wrong Deniel?

 

[Polly]

If you must know, I usually dissect myself, find out what it is that I am feeling and why it is that I feel a particular way and then look at the whole scenerio from the point of view of conditionality - but then I am a buddhist.

 

[balkan]

If you must know, I usually dissect myself, find out what it is that I am feeling and why it is that I feel a particular way and then look at the whole scenerio from the point of view of conditionality - but then I am a buddhist.

same here... but I'm a rationalist
i'm trying to teach it to my girlfriend aswell... maybe buddhism is more up her alley, though... i understand it teaches many usefull things to get the upper hand on your mind and not vice versa...

a good trick though, when you're sad, is writing about it... this gets some of the thoughts out of your head and down on paper, where you can distance yourself a bit more to them and maybe rationalize them... write down stuff you're happy about aswell... there are plenty of those, believe me...
read a good book... eat some apples...

 

[the number 42]

If you must know, I usually dissect myself, find out what it is that I am feeling and why it is that I feel a particular way and then look at the whole scenerio from the point of view of conditionality - but then I am a buddhist.

Dissecting yourself? Ouch! :surprise:

Sounds like a useful approach. Can you tell me what you mean by "look[ing] at the whole scenerio from the point of view of conditionality"? Do you mean not putting conditions on things e.g. 'I'll be happy when Saturday comes' etc?

Thanks.

 

[smog]

When I'm sad, I like to find something with which I can busy myself. Keeping your mind occupied and focused always is a good thing, whether you are happy or sad, but it can do wonders to get you through hard times.

I, for example, have found 4 new active online forums in the past day. But there is tons of stuff to do; just find something that makes you happy and go with it! And if nothing makes you happy, try harder. If you still aren't feeling happy, there are tons of people--friends, family members, doctors, counselors--to whom you can talk to try to work through your hard times.

 

[jimmy p]

I sink deep into depression and don't come out of it for a week or so, with that on my mind. Or I go on holiday.

 

[Deniel]

What's wrong Deniel?

Thanks Evo...I was sad at that time, nobody was around, now i am fine

 

[Deniel]

Thanks everyone

 

[Imparcticle]

I just meditate or do math.

 

[merak]

?

I just wait.I know... that it will not last.

 

[Entropy]

Talking to someone is the best thing you can do! If no one is around, talk to God. Trust me, I'm one that knows all to well about depression. I waited three years before telling my parents I got spontanous attacks of depression and anxiety. Ruined my middle school social life because I didn't say anything. Only now am I really recovering.

 

[Polly]

Can you tell me what you mean by "look[ing] at the whole scenerio from the point of view of conditionality"? Do you mean not putting conditions on things e.g. 'I'll be happy when Saturday comes' etc?

Suppose one of my cats dies and I am very sad. Will I be as sad if it's not my cat? Suppose my bf breaks up with me and I am very sad. Will I be as sad if he is just a friend? Will I have been attached to him in the first place if I grew up in another country, spoke a different language and had a different set of parents and living experience? View all things, ideas, conception, emotions and phenomena as such, devoid of fixed inherent nature and are subject to conditionality (note this is just an intermediate explanation not the ulitmate truth).

I was talking with my mom about this concept and she stoutly said, "A mother's love for her child is unconditional and will never change." To that I said "What if you are being told today that babies were switched in the hospital and I am not your daughter?" She looked at me flabbergasted .

 

[Moonbear]

I agree with the others who suggest thinking about why you are sad. Sometimes sadness is a masquerade for boredom or loneliness. Getting out and doing something will cure either. Or, maybe there's a good reason to be sad, such as a pet dying, your best friend moved far away, something like that. Then it can be good to talk about it with someone, cry a little, punch a pillow, go workout, whatever works for you to just get it out of your system. If you find yourself feeling sad for no real reason, and it happens often, talk to your doctor about it.

Some things to do to help avoid depression, or lessen its symptoms if you already are affected by it are to avoid any alcohol (alcohol is a depressant), eat a healthy diet including lots of fresh fruits and veggies, be sure to get a good night's sleep, get outside to enjoy some fresh air and sunshine, and get exercise (you don't have to go really crazy with that...a nice, brisk walk is a good start...easier to motivate yourself off a couch to walk than to jog or go to a gym). I've found that a long walk can serve several purposes at once...it gets you exercise, it tires you out some so you sleep better at night, it gets you out into the sunshine, you might bump into some people along the walk who will stop and chat or just smile at you to make you feel better, and you can use that time to just think about stuff and muddle through things to figure out what you need to tackle. Walking at the beginning or end of the day can give you an opportunity to sort out the things you need to get done for that day, how you're going to tackle all your projects, prioritize them, or at the end of the day let you assess what you got done, what you could have done better, what you did well, and then just wind down so you get work off your mind and relax for the night. Both will help you be more productive in your day and give you more of a feeling of purpose so you'll start to feel better. Of course, if you have real, clinical depression, then this alone likely won't suffice and would be best done in conjunction with medication to help you get past the worst of it. That's where seeing your doctor comes in.

 

[Deniel]

I just wait.I know... that it will not last.

If sadness lasts long, all people should have died...:tongue2:

 

[Deniel]

Moonbear, you writing style is really the same as a computer proffessor I used to know...Really, exactly (100%) the same but that is Canadian English and yours is American.

By the way, If Moonbear can write me school reports, i am sure I will get to the top of elitest students soon. Perhaps I will be better than even my school proffesors (:tongue2:) You sound so technical and persuasive...

 

[The Bob]

I normally eat a bit, stay away from everyone and then take my anger out on the piano or my cello and sometimes my cornet. Then I feel better.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[the number 42]

I was talking with my mom about this concept and she stoutly said, "A mother's love for her child is unconditional and will never change." To that I said "What if you are being told today that babies were switched in the hospital and I am not your daughter?" She looked at me flabbergasted .

Good answer! :surprise:

So it sounds like not being too attached to people, things, or outcomes e.g. not being too attached to getting a particular mark in an exam?


When I get sad I go for a run, or talk to someone I trust. It helps to talk to someone, even if I feel like I am upset for no real reason. I definitely helps to just get it off your chest.

 

[Polly]

So it sounds like not being too attached to people, things, or outcomes e.g. not being too attached to getting a particular mark in an exam?

"Form is emptiness, and emptiness is form". If we stop being attached to people or things or causes we are ignoring the second part of the sentence. The secret is striking a perfect balance between "form is empiness" and "emptiness is form", between nihility and total involvement.

Better not go on here, Moonbear will get worried about my mental well being :tongue2: .

 

[Moonbear]

Better not go on here, Moonbear will get worried about my mental well being :tongue2: .

Oh good golly, Polly (sorry, couldn't resist)... :tongue2: I have enough to do worrying about my own mental well-being. My whole lab is crazy, we've all realized this and openly admit it (considering today we were looking at tissue sections one of the students was mounting on slides and deciding what we saw when we looked at them...somewhat like inkblot tests...I saw little owl faces, my student saw moths, our tech insisted they looked like bats...we decided to just shut up and pretend it never happened).

Moonbear, you writing style is really the same as a computer proffessor I used to know...Really, exactly (100%) the same but that is Canadian English and yours is American.

By the way, If Moonbear can write me school reports, i am sure I will get to the top of elitest students soon. Perhaps I will be better than even my school proffesors () You sound so technical and persuasive...

Well, I AM a professor, so I guess it goes with the training to write in a technical tone. Though, most of the time here, I don't at all write the way I do for technical writing. Canadian English is different? Other than over-using the letter u, I don't know how it's really different...eh You'll notice my writing style change a bit depending on what I've been doing during the day. I get much more succinct and use very short, bite-size sentences if I've been writing grant proposals and manuscripts, and can get very wordy when I'm having fun escaping my desk to play in the lab (I have two new rotation students for the summer, so am having lots of fun getting them going on new projects...but really do need to chain myself back to a desk again soon...having students around cures my depression, writing grants brings it back).

 

[Deniel]

What is 'rotation students' ?
Moonbear, could you give me a hint where you are in now (state?) Please...

 

[Deniel]

By the way, I am glad to talk with a professor...True! -lol-