When is the best age to have kids?

[undrcvrbro]

Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!

 

[edward]

Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!

Definitely have children before your parents get too old to babysit.

 

[tgt]

Idealistically about 20.

 

[hypatia]

25 seems about right to me, you will be just over 40 when they are ready for collage. Plus the older you get, risks to both the mother and child increase.

 

[rocomath]

23-25 :) or as long as both parties are mature!

 

[DaveC426913]

Speaking as a step-dad, I can tell you the best age to have kids is at 3.

All the good parenting bits - no diapers.

 

[Cyrus]

I don't want kids until I am 35+.


25 its nuts, 28 is nuts. I'll pass on that one.

 

[lisab]

I was 28 - it was a perfect time for me.

 

[Evo]

There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

Both of my sisters and many of my friends decided not to have children and are very happy.

 

[Astronuc]

Biologically, probably early-to-late 20's for the first, and probably not much later than 40, because afterward, medical/health risks increase.

Evo touched on some critical issues and contraints that must be considered.

I would emphasize the importance of a committed relationship. Raising children is a lot of work, which should be shared more or less equitably between both parents.

 

[mattmns]

There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

Both of my sisters and many of my friends decided not to have children and are very happy.

What she said

 

[Laura1013]

There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

I agree with this. Personally, I'm waiting until I finish my Ph.D. and get married. I admire people who can work on their degrees while raising kids, but I'd rather not have that extra component. Additionally, my sweetie and I would like some "just us" time before starting a family, if possible. So for me, if I'm biologically able to have kids, I'll be in my late 20s, perhaps even around 30.

 

[Poop-Loops]

I don't know. 14-16 I think is when girls were meant to have kids, right?

 

[ice109]

never? there's absolutely no reason for most of people to have kids anymore.

 

[Phlogistonian]

I don't know. 14-16 I think is when girls were meant to have kids, right?

Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

I think the reason teenagers are so messed up in western culture is because we insist on treating them like children, when biologically they are practically adults. Our lifestyles have become very unnatural.

 

[Tsu]

I agree, Poop-Loops (I just LOVE your username!11 ). That's the perfect age to be so that the kids don't drive you NUTS! Any older that that and you risk your sanity for SURE! Actually, that's what happened to most of the folks on this board. They waited too long and their kids drove them bonkers in the first two years! Now they're hanging out here, trying to pretend they never lost their minds!

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

The perfect age to have kids of course, is zero. That's how old mine were anyway. I was 41 and 43, old enough to be their grandfather.

 

[Integral]

I (or my wife) had kids when I was 28,30 and 43. I think earlier is better. My daughter, now in high school has friends who think I am her grandfather!


I know I left my mind around here somewhere?

Anybody seen it?

 

[VashtiMaiden]

Men - 35
Women - 30
Period (.)

 

[VashtiMaiden]

I (or my wife) had kids when I was 28,30 and 43. I think earlier is better. My daughter, now in high school has friends who think I am her grandfather!


I know I left my mind around here somewhere?

Anybody seen it?

 

[Kurdt]

I think 65 is a good age to have children. You have just enough energy to care for them as a baby, then when they're about 4-5years old they can take on the responsibility of changing your nappy, and making your meals. Then by the time they're about to hit their teen years you'll be on your way out.

 

[tgt]

Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

I think the reason teenagers are so messed up in western culture is because we insist on treating them like children, when biologically they are practically adults. Our lifestyles have become very unnatural.

It's more that we carry with us tradition from the past which dosen't fit today's modern society.

 

[Chi Meson]

Men - 35
Women - 30
Period (.)

That's just about when we did it. I was 35 and my wife was 33 when we had our first. We now have three, seven years later. Someone mentioned to us a while ago: "either front end 'em, or back end 'em." Have your kids early, then you are "free" while you still have some 30s and 40s left. OR take your 20s and 30s for yourself and do the rearing in "middle age." Warning: stay fit if you back end 'em.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

IThen by the time they're about to hit their teen years you'll be on your way out.

Blissfully senile.

 

[Moonbear]

Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!

I'm inclined to think that if you're actually discussing it and planning it rather than just letting it happen and then figuring out how to cope with it, you're probably responsible enough already. As for financial stability, that would certainly depend on your jobs/careers, housing situation, whether either or both of you have medical insurance, how much you need to spend on childcare (if you have retired parents living nearby who are just pleading for you to give them grandbabies, then you may not have to spend much at all on childcare; if you both need to work full-time and don't have someone nearby to help with childcare, it may be more expensive to pay for daycare), will you both keep working while raising the kids, etc.

Don't forget emotional stability. You want to be sure you're in a good relationship when you have kids, because dealing with children will definitely test that relationship. Do you have compatible ideas on how to raise kids? If one of you thinks the kids will be fine in daycare and the other thinks one parent should quit working and stay at home with them, there's likely to be a problem there.

You could always compromise and have one at 25 and one at 28.

 

[Laura1013]

Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

There are more factors to having children than just sex drive. Maturity and decision making skills aren't typically fully developed until the late teens or early 20s (this isn't just societal opinion, but biological fact). Financially, teens usually don't have the means to support a child, and usually must rely on their parents to help. Medically, it's also safer for the mother and the child to wait past the teen years before giving birth.

I also question your assumption that the female sex drive peaks in their teens. Most studies I've seen quote the age range as being in the 30s (late 20s to early 40s). Each person is different, of course.

 

[vincentm]

Definitely have children before your parents get too old to babysit.

This man speaks the truth.

 

[Andre]

So many reasons given here why the population boom terminated in the "develloped" countries. Career - no time for children, etc.

Probably for Homo sapiens 10,000 years ago, the ideal age was around 16 probably, for Homo urbanus professionalensis 40 seems reasonable, but it isn't. Bigger statistical chance on Down syndrome and how are you going to support their education when you're on a meager retirement pay?

 

[Kurdt]

Stemming the increase in population is a good thing. More people should be choosing not to have kids in my opinion. The worlds population can't grow forever. Alas, people are vain.

 

[Poop-Loops]

Stemming the increase in population is a good thing. More people should be choosing not to have kids in my opinion. The worlds population can't grow forever. Alas, people are vain.

But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!

 

[g33kski11z]

I had my son when I was 21, and honestly, thinking back I would have waited a few years. Maybe 24-25, but its really great being a "younger" dad. I'm now 30, he's 9. We run around the house and yard having nurf {foam dart gun} wars. We both dive over the couch and low crawl down the hall ways.. not to many 40 yr old dads can/will do that...

Each side has its pros/cons.

 

[lisab]

But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!

Hmmmm...guess I've never really thought of my uterus as a clown car...

 

[DaveC426913]

But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!

That is a brilliant image.

 

[Adeimantus]

But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!

jeebus h. christmas! :

Meet The Duggars

 

[lisab]

jeebus h. christmas! :

Meet The Duggars

Oh my god, so damn funny!

 

[Astronuc]

Stemming the increase in population is a good thing. More people should be choosing not to have kids in my opinion. The worlds population can't grow forever. Alas, people are vain.

The problem seems to be that, the people who should not have kids - do, and those who should have kids - don't.

 

[Poop-Loops]

I'm pretty sure that was always the case, Astronuc. The catch is that in the past the kids that weren't supposed to be born would find creative ways to remove themselves from the gene pool, like robbing a mafia leader, playing in the street, whatever.

These days that doesn't happen.

 

[Moonbear]

I had my son when I was 21, and honestly, thinking back I would have waited a few years. Maybe 24-25, but its really great being a "younger" dad. I'm now 30, he's 9. We run around the house and yard having nurf {foam dart gun} wars. We both dive over the couch and low crawl down the hall ways.. not to many 40 yr old dads can/will do that...

Each side has its pros/cons.

The other advantage to having them earlier rather than later is that by the time you're middle aged, they're out of the house, just about the time you're far enough ahead in your career to be earning real money and getting good vacation time so you can enjoy the travel you really can't do when lugging kids along. You might miss a few more years of wild partying with the young folks, but so many of your friends will be getting married and having kids by their early to mid-20s that those opportunities dry up pretty quickly anyway.

 

[Astronuc]

I had my son when I was 21, and honestly, thinking back I would have waited a few years. Maybe 24-25, but its really great being a "younger" dad. I'm now 30, he's 9. We run around the house and yard having nurf {foam dart gun} wars. We both dive over the couch and low crawl down the hall ways.. not to many 40 yr old dads can/will do that...

Each side has its pros/cons.

I'm 50, and my son is nearly 17. He and I are not allowed to dive on the couch. We have to go outside to play like that. Besides, one of his leaps a few years ago broke the one of the pieces of the frame.

Besides, it's pretty hard to break the ground - well unintentionally. To garden, one has to break a certain amount of ground.

This summer, I hope to get out on the river with my son, assuming I can pry him away long enough from the internet and video games.

 

[Cyrus]

Stemming the increase in population is a good thing. More people should be choosing not to have kids in my opinion. The worlds population can't grow forever. Alas, people are vain.

You have to be careful. Indians and Chinese need to stop having children. People like the US and Europe need more children. You have to look at the population pyramid to see if its inverted or not.

 

[Poop-Loops]

You have to be careful. Indians and Chinese need to stop having children. People like the US and Europe need more children. You have to look at the population pyramid to see if its inverted or not.

What a racist remark.

 

[Chi Meson]

I don't think it is racist. Tactless, maybe, but that's Cyrus. Truth is, in most of China, and throughout the subcontinent of India, the stress of overpopulation is a severe problem. China has long been trying to control their population by enforcing a one-child per couple law. A byproduct of that (and this is from a page on THE INTERNET, so it must be true) is a large export of unwanted female babies to the US.

 

[Cyrus]

I don't think it is racist. Tactless, maybe, but that's Cyrus. Truth is, in most of China, and throughout the subcontinent of India, the stress of overpopulation is a severe problem. China has long been trying to control their population by enforcing a one-child per couple law. A byproduct of that (and this is from a page on THE INTERNET, so it must be true) is a large export of unwanted female babies to the US.

They have a billion people, pollution, and a rising middle class. A ecological disaster waiting to happen. They need to control their poplution, to the point of forced abortions if necessary.

The world can't support the number of people we have today if they all went from 3rd world status to 1st world. I'd rather have 300 million rich, smart chinese, than 1 billion poor, polluted, and sick chinese.


I don't see how that is tactless. It might be because I don't care though. heh...

 

[DaveC426913]

I'm 50, and my son is nearly 17. He and I are not allowed to dive on the couch. We have to go outside to play like that. Besides, one of his leaps a few years ago broke the one of the pieces of the frame.

Besides, it's pretty hard to break the ground - well unintentionally. To garden, one has to break a certain amount of ground.

This summer, I hope to get out on the river with my son, assuming I can pry him away long enough from the internet and video games.

Do not break the river. You will be in sooo much trouble.

 

[Manchot]

Another advantage to having them early that no one's mentioned: you get to spend more time with them, and possibly your grandchildren as well.

 

[Alfi]

( I had my one wonderfull daughter at age 24 - too early from the perspective of 53. :)

Heinlein said it best for me.

"No man is an island — " Much as we may feel and act as Individuals, our race is — a single organism, always growing and branching — which must be pruned regularly to be healthy.
This necessity need not be argued; anyone with eyes can see that any organism which grows without limit always dies in its own poisons. The only rational question is whether pruning is best done before or after birth."

 

[BobG]

The problem seems to be that, the people who should not have kids - do, and those who should have kids - don't.

What do you mean? Smart people don't have kids and dumb people do?

I agree with Kurdt's answer. You don't want to be around for the 15-25 decade of your kids' lives. If I didn't love 'em so much, I would have killed each and every one of them for at least one really stupid stunt.

 

[_Mayday_]

25 years old.

 

[GCT]

Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!

25 is a great age to have children - after 30 your risk of having a child with genetic defects increases ; it increases throughout the age span yet I would not recommend having kids at an age above 40 - if you're going to bring a human being into the world make certain that he or she is at least going to have the better genetic assets and that's why the early the better.

 

[turbo]

Do not break the river. You will be in sooo much trouble.

Breaking the wind is a bad one , too! That wasn't me! It was the dog.