When is the best age to have kids?

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Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25:surprised. I know it's only a three year difference, but theres a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!
 

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  • #2
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Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25:surprised. I know it's only a three year difference, but theres a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!
Definitely have children before your parents get too old to babysit.:smile:
 
  • #3
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Idealistically about 20.
 
  • #4
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25 seems about right to me, you will be just over 40 when they are ready for collage. Plus the older you get, risks to both the mother and child increase.
 
  • #5
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23-25 :) or as long as both parties are mature!
 
  • #6
DaveC426913
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Speaking as a step-dad, I can tell you the best age to have kids is at 3.

All the good parenting bits - no diapers.
 
  • #7
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I dont want kids until im 35+.


25 its nuts, 28 is nuts. I'll pass on that one.
 
  • #8
lisab
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I was 28 - it was a perfect time for me.
 
  • #9
Evo
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There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

Both of my sisters and many of my friends decided not to have children and are very happy.
 
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  • #10
Astronuc
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Biologically, probably early-to-late 20's for the first, and probably not much later than 40, because afterward, medical/health risks increase.

Evo touched on some critical issues and contraints that must be considered.

I would emphasize the importance of a committed relationship. Raising children is a lot of work, which should be shared more or less equitably between both parents.
 
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  • #11
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There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

Both of my sisters and many of my friends decided not to have children and are very happy.
What she said :smile:
 
  • #12
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There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.
I agree with this. Personally, I'm waiting until I finish my Ph.D. and get married. I admire people who can work on their degrees while raising kids, but I'd rather not have that extra component. Additionally, my sweetie and I would like some "just us" time before starting a family, if possible. So for me, if I'm biologically able to have kids, I'll be in my late 20s, perhaps even around 30.
 
  • #13
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I don't know. 14-16 I think is when girls were meant to have kids, right?
 
  • #14
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never? there's absolutely no reason for most of people to have kids anymore.
 
  • #15
I don't know. 14-16 I think is when girls were meant to have kids, right?
Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

I think the reason teenagers are so messed up in western culture is because we insist on treating them like children, when biologically they are practically adults. Our lifestyles have become very unnatural.
 
  • #16
Tsu
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I agree, Poop-Loops (I just LOVE your username!!11 :biggrin:). That's the perfect age to be so that the kids don't drive you NUTS!! Any older that that and you risk your sanity for SURE!! Actually, that's what happened to most of the folks on this board. They waited too long and their kids drove them bonkers in the first two years!!! :biggrin: Now they're hanging out here, trying to pretend they never lost their minds! :rofl:
 
  • #17
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The perfect age to have kids of course, is zero. That's how old mine were anyway. I was 41 and 43, old enough to be their grandfather.
 
  • #18
Integral
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I (or my wife) had kids when I was 28,30 and 43. I think earlier is better. My daughter, now in high school has friends who think I am her grandfather! :cry:


I know I left my mind around here somewhere???

Anybody seen it?
 
  • #19
Men - 35
Women - 30
Period (.)
 
  • #20
I (or my wife) had kids when I was 28,30 and 43. I think earlier is better. My daughter, now in high school has friends who think I am her grandfather! :cry:


I know I left my mind around here somewhere???

Anybody seen it?
:biggrin:

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
  • #21
Kurdt
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I think 65 is a good age to have children. You have just enough energy to care for them as a baby, then when they're about 4-5years old they can take on the responsibility of changing your nappy, and making your meals. Then by the time they're about to hit their teen years you'll be on your way out.
 
  • #22
tgt
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Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

I think the reason teenagers are so messed up in western culture is because we insist on treating them like children, when biologically they are practically adults. Our lifestyles have become very unnatural.
It's more that we carry with us tradition from the past which dosen't fit today's modern society.
 
  • #23
Chi Meson
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Men - 35
Women - 30
Period (.)
That's just about when we did it. I was 35 and my wife was 33 when we had our first. We now have three, seven years later. Someone mentioned to us a while ago: "either front end 'em, or back end 'em." Have your kids early, then you are "free" while you still have some 30s and 40s left. OR take your 20s and 30s for yourself and do the rearing in "middle age." Warning: stay fit if you back end 'em.
 
  • #24
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IThen by the time they're about to hit their teen years you'll be on your way out.
Blissfully senile.
 
  • #25
Moonbear
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Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25:surprised. I know it's only a three year difference, but theres a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!
I'm inclined to think that if you're actually discussing it and planning it rather than just letting it happen and then figuring out how to cope with it, you're probably responsible enough already. As for financial stability, that would certainly depend on your jobs/careers, housing situation, whether either or both of you have medical insurance, how much you need to spend on childcare (if you have retired parents living nearby who are just pleading for you to give them grandbabies, then you may not have to spend much at all on childcare; if you both need to work full-time and don't have someone nearby to help with childcare, it may be more expensive to pay for daycare), will you both keep working while raising the kids, etc.

Don't forget emotional stability. You want to be sure you're in a good relationship when you have kids, because dealing with children will definitely test that relationship. Do you have compatible ideas on how to raise kids? If one of you thinks the kids will be fine in daycare and the other thinks one parent should quit working and stay at home with them, there's likely to be a problem there.

You could always compromise and have one at 25 and one at 28. :biggrin:
 

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