When is the best age to have kids?

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In summary: I'm looking for the "ideal" age.In summary, the conversation revolves around the best age to have children, with the ages of 25 and 28 being debated. Some argue that the ideal age is in the early-to-late 20's, while others believe it is best to wait until later in life, when one is emotionally and financially stable. Factors such as the willingness to change one's lifestyle, financial stability, relationship health, and reasons for wanting children are all mentioned as important considerations. Ultimately, there is no one "best" age to have children, as it depends on individual circumstances and readiness.
  • #1
undrcvrbro
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Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!
 
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  • #2
undrcvrbro said:
Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!

Definitely have children before your parents get too old to babysit.:smile:
 
  • #3
Idealistically about 20.
 
  • #4
25 seems about right to me, you will be just over 40 when they are ready for collage. Plus the older you get, risks to both the mother and child increase.
 
  • #5
23-25 :) or as long as both parties are mature!
 
  • #6
Speaking as a step-dad, I can tell you the best age to have kids is at 3.

All the good parenting bits - no diapers.
 
  • #7
I don't want kids until I am 35+.


25 its nuts, 28 is nuts. I'll pass on that one.
 
  • #8
I was 28 - it was a perfect time for me.
 
  • #9
There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

Both of my sisters and many of my friends decided not to have children and are very happy.
 
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  • #10
Biologically, probably early-to-late 20's for the first, and probably not much later than 40, because afterward, medical/health risks increase.

Evo touched on some critical issues and contraints that must be considered.

I would emphasize the importance of a committed relationship. Raising children is a lot of work, which should be shared more or less equitably between both parents.
 
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  • #11
Evo said:
There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

Both of my sisters and many of my friends decided not to have children and are very happy.

What she said :smile:
 
  • #12
Evo said:
There is no best age. When you are emotionally and financially able, if ever, to have a child does not depend on age.

There are a lot of factors to consider when having a child. Are you willing to drastically change your lifestyle? Can you afford a child? Who is going to compromise their career to be primary caretaker? Unless you both have very flexible work options, someone is going to have to make sacrifices. Is your relationship healthy? Some people make the mistake of having a child when the relationship goes bad mistakenly thinking a child will bring them closer together, it won't. Why do you want a child? This is probably the most important question. I'm not going to go into a long list of wrong reasons to have a child, but you should really think about it.

I agree with this. Personally, I'm waiting until I finish my Ph.D. and get married. I admire people who can work on their degrees while raising kids, but I'd rather not have that extra component. Additionally, my sweetie and I would like some "just us" time before starting a family, if possible. So for me, if I'm biologically able to have kids, I'll be in my late 20s, perhaps even around 30.
 
  • #13
I don't know. 14-16 I think is when girls were meant to have kids, right?
 
  • #14
never? there's absolutely no reason for most of people to have kids anymore.
 
  • #15
Poop-Loops said:
I don't know. 14-16 I think is when girls were meant to have kids, right?

Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

I think the reason teenagers are so messed up in western culture is because we insist on treating them like children, when biologically they are practically adults. Our lifestyles have become very unnatural.
 
  • #16
I agree, Poop-Loops (I just LOVE your username!11 :biggrin:). That's the perfect age to be so that the kids don't drive you NUTS! Any older that that and you risk your sanity for SURE! Actually, that's what happened to most of the folks on this board. They waited too long and their kids drove them bonkers in the first two years! :biggrin: Now they're hanging out here, trying to pretend they never lost their minds! :rofl:
 
  • #17
The perfect age to have kids of course, is zero. That's how old mine were anyway. I was 41 and 43, old enough to be their grandfather.
 
  • #18
I (or my wife) had kids when I was 28,30 and 43. I think earlier is better. My daughter, now in high school has friends who think I am her grandfather! :cry:


I know I left my mind around here somewhere?

Anybody seen it?
 
  • #19
Men - 35
Women - 30
Period (.)
 
  • #20
Integral said:
I (or my wife) had kids when I was 28,30 and 43. I think earlier is better. My daughter, now in high school has friends who think I am her grandfather! :cry:


I know I left my mind around here somewhere?

Anybody seen it?

:biggrin:

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
  • #21
I think 65 is a good age to have children. You have just enough energy to care for them as a baby, then when they're about 4-5years old they can take on the responsibility of changing your nappy, and making your meals. Then by the time they're about to hit their teen years you'll be on your way out.
 
  • #22
Phlogistonian said:
Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

I think the reason teenagers are so messed up in western culture is because we insist on treating them like children, when biologically they are practically adults. Our lifestyles have become very unnatural.

It's more that we carry with us tradition from the past which dosen't fit today's modern society.
 
  • #23
VashtiMaiden said:
Men - 35
Women - 30
Period (.)

That's just about when we did it. I was 35 and my wife was 33 when we had our first. We now have three, seven years later. Someone mentioned to us a while ago: "either front end 'em, or back end 'em." Have your kids early, then you are "free" while you still have some 30s and 40s left. OR take your 20s and 30s for yourself and do the rearing in "middle age." Warning: stay fit if you back end 'em.
 
  • #24
Kurdt said:
IThen by the time they're about to hit their teen years you'll be on your way out.
Blissfully senile.
 
  • #25
undrcvrbro said:
Me and my girlfriend have been having this ongoing debate, and I'd like to see what others think is the best age. When I say "best age" I mean the age where you are old enough to be financially stable and responsible, yet young enough that you're not quite over the hill.

I say 28, she says 25 . I know it's only a three year difference, but there's a lot of change going on in those three years. Someone please assure me that 25 is too young!

I'm inclined to think that if you're actually discussing it and planning it rather than just letting it happen and then figuring out how to cope with it, you're probably responsible enough already. As for financial stability, that would certainly depend on your jobs/careers, housing situation, whether either or both of you have medical insurance, how much you need to spend on childcare (if you have retired parents living nearby who are just pleading for you to give them grandbabies, then you may not have to spend much at all on childcare; if you both need to work full-time and don't have someone nearby to help with childcare, it may be more expensive to pay for daycare), will you both keep working while raising the kids, etc.

Don't forget emotional stability. You want to be sure you're in a good relationship when you have kids, because dealing with children will definitely test that relationship. Do you have compatible ideas on how to raise kids? If one of you thinks the kids will be fine in daycare and the other thinks one parent should quit working and stay at home with them, there's likely to be a problem there.

You could always compromise and have one at 25 and one at 28. :biggrin:
 
  • #26
Phlogistonian said:
Teen years are when the sex drive is highest, for both boys and girls. Not too long ago, it was common for teenage girls to get married (often to men in their twenties).

There are more factors to having children than just sex drive. Maturity and decision making skills aren't typically fully developed until the late teens or early 20s (this isn't just societal opinion, but biological fact). Financially, teens usually don't have the means to support a child, and usually must rely on their parents to help. Medically, it's also safer for the mother and the child to wait past the teen years before giving birth.

I also question your assumption that the female sex drive peaks in their teens. Most studies I've seen quote the age range as being in the 30s (late 20s to early 40s). Each person is different, of course.
 
  • #27
edward said:
Definitely have children before your parents get too old to babysit.:smile:

This man speaks the truth.
 
  • #28
So many reasons given here why the population boom terminated in the "develloped" countries. Career - no time for children, etc.

Probably for Homo sapiens 10,000 years ago, the ideal age was around 16 probably, for Homo urbanus professionalensis 40 seems reasonable, but it isn't. Bigger statistical chance on Down syndrome and how are you going to support their education when you're on a meager retirement pay?
 
  • #29
Stemming the increase in population is a good thing. More people should be choosing not to have kids in my opinion. The worlds population can't grow forever. Alas, people are vain.
 
  • #30
Kurdt said:
Stemming the increase in population is a good thing. More people should be choosing not to have kids in my opinion. The worlds population can't grow forever. Alas, people are vain.

But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!
 
  • #31
I had my son when I was 21, and honestly, thinking back I would have waited a few years. Maybe 24-25, but its really great being a "younger" dad. I'm now 30, he's 9. We run around the house and yard having nurf {foam dart gun} wars. We both dive over the couch and low crawl down the hall ways.. not to many 40 yr old dads can/will do that...

Each side has its pros/cons.
 
  • #32
Poop-Loops said:
But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!

Hmmmm...guess I've never really thought of my uterus as a clown car...:wink:
 
  • #33
Poop-Loops said:
But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!
That is a brilliant image.
 
  • #34
Poop-Loops said:
But The Bible says to pump them out like it was a clown car!

Duggar340.jpg


jeebus h. christmas! :

Meet The Duggars
 
  • #35
Adeimantus said:
Duggar340.jpg


jeebus h. christmas! :

Meet The Duggars

Oh my god, so damn funny!
 
<h2>1. When is the best age to have kids?</h2><p>The best age to have kids is a personal decision and can vary for each individual. However, biologically, women are most fertile in their 20s and early 30s. After age 35, the chances of getting pregnant decrease and the risk of complications during pregnancy and childbirth increases. It is important to consider factors such as physical and emotional readiness, financial stability, and support system when deciding on the best age to have kids.</p><h2>2. Is it better to have kids earlier or later in life?</h2><p>Again, this is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. Some people may prefer to have kids earlier in life to have more energy and time to raise them, while others may choose to have kids later in life after establishing their career and financial stability. It is important to consider your own priorities and circumstances when making this decision.</p><h2>3. Are there any risks associated with having kids at an older age?</h2><p>Yes, there are some risks associated with having kids at an older age. Women over the age of 35 have a higher risk of pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and preterm birth. There is also an increased risk of genetic abnormalities in the baby, such as Down syndrome. It is important to discuss these risks with your doctor and make an informed decision.</p><h2>4. Can men also have a "biological clock" when it comes to having kids?</h2><p>Yes, men can also experience a decline in fertility as they age. However, this decline is not as significant as it is for women. Men can continue to produce sperm throughout their lifetime, but the quality and quantity of sperm may decrease with age. This can increase the risk of genetic abnormalities in the baby and may also make it harder to conceive.</p><h2>5. What are some advantages of having kids later in life?</h2><p>Having kids later in life can have some advantages, such as being more financially stable and having a better understanding of yourself and your priorities. Older parents may also have more life experience and wisdom to pass on to their children. Additionally, having kids later in life can also give parents more time to travel, pursue their interests, and establish their careers before having the responsibility of raising children.</p>

1. When is the best age to have kids?

The best age to have kids is a personal decision and can vary for each individual. However, biologically, women are most fertile in their 20s and early 30s. After age 35, the chances of getting pregnant decrease and the risk of complications during pregnancy and childbirth increases. It is important to consider factors such as physical and emotional readiness, financial stability, and support system when deciding on the best age to have kids.

2. Is it better to have kids earlier or later in life?

Again, this is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. Some people may prefer to have kids earlier in life to have more energy and time to raise them, while others may choose to have kids later in life after establishing their career and financial stability. It is important to consider your own priorities and circumstances when making this decision.

3. Are there any risks associated with having kids at an older age?

Yes, there are some risks associated with having kids at an older age. Women over the age of 35 have a higher risk of pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and preterm birth. There is also an increased risk of genetic abnormalities in the baby, such as Down syndrome. It is important to discuss these risks with your doctor and make an informed decision.

4. Can men also have a "biological clock" when it comes to having kids?

Yes, men can also experience a decline in fertility as they age. However, this decline is not as significant as it is for women. Men can continue to produce sperm throughout their lifetime, but the quality and quantity of sperm may decrease with age. This can increase the risk of genetic abnormalities in the baby and may also make it harder to conceive.

5. What are some advantages of having kids later in life?

Having kids later in life can have some advantages, such as being more financially stable and having a better understanding of yourself and your priorities. Older parents may also have more life experience and wisdom to pass on to their children. Additionally, having kids later in life can also give parents more time to travel, pursue their interests, and establish their careers before having the responsibility of raising children.

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