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Why am I looked down upon for being single?

  1. Feb 1, 2009 #1
    All my friends from high school and my closest friends are all married, engaged, or living together with someone. I don't have a girlfriend, and I haven't had one for a while and people always ask me about it. "So Kris, hows the love life, meet anyone special, you should ask that girl out, etc.", it gets pretty irritating. The truth is, I don't have a girlfriend because I don't have time for one and I have simply have never met anyone that is worth the time and trouble. Why the hell does society say that I HAVE to have a girlfriend all the fricken time? I'm an engineering grad student damit, we're not suppose to have girlfriends anyway.

    PS: No Cyrus, I will not close this thread.
  2. jcsd
  3. Feb 1, 2009 #2
    Stay single, and enjoy it!
  4. Feb 1, 2009 #3

    Math Is Hard

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    They're not looking down on you. They just care about you. Usually when I make this kind of inquiry it's because I know someone that I think the person might like to meet. o:)
  5. Feb 1, 2009 #4
    They usually say it with such pity like they are trying to empathize with me. No one ever really offers to try and hook me up with anyone.
  6. Feb 1, 2009 #5
    It's the primitive human psychology.

    "Birds of feather flock together"

    For the longest time, I used to get looked down all the time by family, friends, and acquaintances who already found that special someone. But those friends who were single didn't seem to care, and me neither.

    But when that person rolled into my life, suddenly I received more respect from people, and especially those closest to me. It's all fake. That's why I've grown to despise social behavior, it's all pointless, but got to play the game.

    What ever state you are in, you are going to be judged by others no matter what.
  7. Feb 1, 2009 #6
    Awe, well don't listen to them. I seem to get hook up offers alot.(It gets old after awhile) Or people at work just hit on me.(Sometimes just as bad)
  8. Feb 1, 2009 #7

    Math Is Hard

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    I can't speak for the guy perspective, but I know how it is with my girlfriends.

    In Love: OMG, life is so perfect! I never knew true happiness until I found X. MIH, you must find your soulmate, like I found X. I want you to be as happy as I am.

    Out of Love (a few years later): You were so smart to not get married. X turned out to be such a jerk. I wish I hadn't had all these kids and bought a house with him.

    In love again (a few years later): My prince has finally arrived. You must find a prince like I have! What a blessing! I'm pregnant again. Hurry! You've got to have some kids before it is too late.

    Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
  9. Feb 1, 2009 #8
    They are just jellous of our perfect marriage.
  10. Feb 1, 2009 #9

    Ivan Seeking

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    Because the herd expects you to reproduce. From a Darwinian point of view, that is your job in life. Just take it as a compliment and be glad that people don't ask you to not reproduce. :biggrin:
  11. Feb 1, 2009 #10


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    Don't reproduce. :mad:
  12. Feb 2, 2009 #11


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    If you read any literature on love it's unanimously positive.

    If you do the same with marriage and relationships it's a very different picture.
  13. Feb 2, 2009 #12
    I have seen this also: people in relationships or married think that they have surpassed you on the progress chain of life.

    Ignore the social pressure. It's more about what you want. They could be jealous that you don't have a ball and chain.
    Stay a swingin bachelor.

    Did I mention swingin bachelor?

    Yes, a swingin bachelor.
    Ah swingin.
  14. Feb 2, 2009 #13


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    If they are happy then they have; at least temporarily
  15. Feb 2, 2009 #14
    Well, I am a bachelor, although I dont know about a swinging bachelor. Academics keeps pretty busy and mundane. Its not that I desire to be a bachelor, I really don't. I just haven't met a girl that I could have a serious relationship with and don't want to get stuck in another 3 year relationship pretending I'm happy just because society says I should.
  16. Feb 2, 2009 #15
    For once I have to say that I completely understand you. Have you figured out any inventive ways to solve this problem?
  17. Feb 2, 2009 #16


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    You should master these debates, if you can keep out of them, then there will more for us that want them.
  18. Feb 2, 2009 #17
    I tried real hard to understand that, but I guess I just don't have what it takes.
  19. Feb 2, 2009 #18
    tell them you are waiting for keira knightly.. or natalie portman, etc etc
  20. Feb 2, 2009 #19
    I second that. One day you may be interested in hooking up with a gal when you have more time on your hands. Meanwhile, don't worry about it.
  21. Feb 3, 2009 #20


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    I went to school with Keira Knightley. I sat next to her in chemistry. That's about all I can say, I've got no dirt. She's a bit of a knobhead
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