Why Do We Lose Interest Once Attraction Turns into Connection?

AI Thread Summary
The discussion centers on the complexities of attraction and relationships, particularly the thrill of the chase versus the reality of deeper connections. The individual expresses a struggle with forming genuine relationships, noting that they often find the pursuit more enjoyable than the actual relationship. They feel a sense of boredom when the effort to win someone over becomes too easy and are more intrigued by those who are harder to attain. This raises questions about whether their interest lies more in the challenge than in the person themselves. The individual reflects on their current focus on personal growth rather than pursuing relationships, seeking insights from older participants about this perspective. The conversation highlights themes of emotional readiness, the nature of competition in dating, and the potential for personal development over time.
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It's been a while since I've met a girl I'm actually very attracted to and feel some kind of connection with, on a personal level. This is largely due to me not being out much and even more due to me not making the effort to try connecting at some level with the person in question. Why? At some point, I noticed that I found "running the race" to be much more fun than going through the finish line.

Now, if we're dealing with video games or an actual race, it'd be okay but with people instead of that in the equation, things get a little complicated. And, in the past, when I have reached that point where all I got to do is walk the next step and I'm in (if you get my jist...), I turned my back and walked away. There's this voice in my head which goes "Okay, cool story bro. Now what?". The thought of going on more dates, talking about random things, listening to her whine about her gossip girl-like garbage, hold her hand and what not makes me cringe. In my experience, once the phase where both parties are trying to "win each other" comes to an end, the whole spark is lost and what used to be fun just ends up being tiring.

There's also another thing I've noticed: if the girl makes it too easy, I'll get bored quicker. If she's way hard to get, suddenly, I'm more interested. What does this say? Does this mean I'm just not into the person as much as I'm into the "thrill" of that "winning her" phase? With all of the above in mind, I decided it would best if I just left things as they were and focused on other things, while I try to figure this out on the side. Maybe this will change as I grow older. On that note, getting insight from you guys, who happen to be older than I am, is one of the reasons I made the the thread. I could do with some perspective on this, I think.

Cheers
 
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Time to go to the next level, another girl? :devil:

P.S. I am not old.
 
You think too much.
 
rootX said:
Time to go to the next level, another girl? :devil:

P.S. I am not old.

Okay, maybe not! But still, it's a new perspective to this er, thing...

MarcoD said:
You think too much.

Maybe. It's how I am though. I like thinking. It's what I do...
 
This sounds like an ego thing. You are interested in the chase because it's a challenge and you are a competitive type. But the catching requires you to start thinking about someone's else's feelings rather that your own. Which you may not be ready to do.

OK, so you're not ready to share yourself with another person yet. You're young. There's time. And a time will come when you don't always feel the need to prove yourself.
 
well if you really want something, becareful, you might turn into her gay friend
 
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