Jokes Definition and 54 Threads

I'm checkin out momentum at the moment so I asked Google AI the question, What is the average speed of a cannonball? This was the answer; The average speed of a cannonball depends on whether you're referring to the speed of a cannonball fired from a cannon or the average speed of a car in the...

If the sun was to go super nova and I've read that can get hotter than 1,000,000,000° C. So, the hypothetically question is if I was on Mars would it get hot enough to make my pop tart nice, warm, and creamy?

Wawa and Petawawa imply the existence of Kilowawa, Megawawa, Gigawawa and Terawawa. Only 9h17m? That's 312,000,000,000 wawas per hour!

We have threads on lame jokes and science jokes. But then, we also have a thread on bad math jokes. So, why not create one specifically for programming jokes? Let me start:

Short satire piece: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/signs-you-work-in-the-cool-lab

From a letter to the Editor in NYT recently: "We are addicted to fossil fuels, de-forestation and over population. Addressing global warming via technology...is like asking a bartender to help with alcoholism" So...mods, need to move it to the correct thread section ?

Summary:: Ok, so let hear 'em, all your tasteful bad math jokes... Found this on r/mathmemes There's no solution for 31: Ok, so let hear 'em, all your tasteful bad math jokes...

I recently saw some very funny memes about Star Wars (which I'll post below), so I thought about starting a thread about jokes about science fiction, e.g. SF movies. Please share funny jokes, pictures and memes about SF and their stories in this thread. And, yes, I know, I'm such a huge SF...

Happy Pi Day: Pi jokes! A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference...

I would like share a nonsense math problem which certainly wrong but its fun I would like others to join as well in my endeavor to create jokes by using math. the joke is as follows As we know, 1-1=0 let, a = 1 , b = 1 then...

What are your favorite Physics jokes? One of my favorite is : Studying Entropy is a TdS PdV. My friend, Fahim Bin Selim, first told me this joke.

http://www.craveonline.com/design/1124445-people-actually-drilling-holes-iphone-7-make-headphone-jack#/slide/1 If only one person did this.

22/7 has rolled around again here's a starter ...

haha some truth in there :wink:

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox...

Old thread: https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/science-jokes.4463/page-44 My wife just drew this

An unexplained Mass! I'm so sorry. Anyway I'm me and I like maths and physics, but I don't know that much yet. I'm always open to people pointing me towards interesting resources for learning, and I love to discuss anything, well most things anyway. I'll always try to get the facts.

What are some examples of real events that were mistaken for April Fools jokes?

These are some of the best physics jokes on the internet. Enjoy!

Hi, all. I want to become a Physics professor in the US. For a few years now I've been a TA in an american university and I've had to teach a few lectures to a large audience in a big lecture hall. However, american students learn differently. For moments, I feel like a performer in this...

Are there any jokes related to c++?

Scientists tell us their favorite jokes: 'An electron and a positron walked into a bar…' http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/dec/29/scientists-favourite-jokes

Why did the mathematical tree fall over? Because it had no real roots!:pWrite the expression for the volume of a thick crust pizza with height $$a$$ and radius $$z$$. The formula for volume is $$\pi(\text{radius})^2(\text{height})$$. In this case, $$pi.z.z.a$$.

Does anyone know of any good Physics jokes/comics that would be good for a physics group's tshirts and care to share? It's ok if they have a sexual innuendo, but these are for an University organization, so if it has a dirty overtone, it has to be subtle/decent. (To give you some sense of what...

"Doctor, doctor! .People always ignore me!" "Next!" "Doctor, doctor! I have this compulsion to sing Delilah." "You have Tom Jones syndrome." "Is that a rare disease?" "It's not unusual."

BORG Jokes#1 on the BORG Hit Parade We All Live in a Single Subroutine #2 on the BORG Hit Parade: BORG in the USA Elvis of Borg Assimilate Me Tender McBorgers Over 50 billion assimilated Schwartzenegger of Borg You will be terminated. Monty Python of Borg I wish to complain about this 'ere...

Chuck Norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines. When Chuck Norris was given a math test, he wrote "Violence" as the answer to all the questions. He got an A+ because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.

You probably have to be Scottish to get this one:

As a matter of fact, at this moment, pursuing phd is way far-fetched plan for me since I am a high school student. But those phd jokes really discourage me to go to undergrad in pure math and rather force me to get a degree in like acturial science or engineering. I was planning to study...

I am using cookies to find out how the people that bought my programs located my site. This is what I found in my log today: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx.pppoe.eltel.net - - [17/Nov/2011:13:24:24 +0100] "GET /chembuddy/?left=BATE&right=pH-calculator HTTP/1.1" 200 9020...

This made me laugh. See more at http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/"

Found this while lurking around, thought I'd share: http://www.cs.northwestern.edu/~riesbeck/mathphyseng.html Bai bai.

Ok I have a speech to deliver in a few weeks. It is on neutrino research at the south pole. I will be leaving soon to go to McMurdo Bay. I am only 19 and a Sophomore in College after this semester. I am very excited but would like to break the ice in style(pun intended)lol. So I need some of...

Anyone got any good physics jokes?

Grahams Number: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham%27s_number Anybody have any tips on how to comprehend something this huge? The number of elementary particles in a trillion universes doesn't even come close...

LEAVING THE OFFICE EARLY Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how...

Read this,its quite fun... http://pages.infinit.net/garrick/jokes/physics.html

Too Funny! This was just TOO FUNNY not to share! :smile: :smile: :smile: http://www.greatfallstribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060328/NEWS01/603280302/1002

yo mam so fat that they needed to put speed bumps at the buffet line to slow her ass down! post your "yo mam" jokes

"someone called" jokes You know those jokes that go: "Your village called, they want their idiot back." or "the year 1970 called, it wants it's clothes back"... what are your favorite ones? I'm trying to search for them, but I'm having a really hard time trying to find them online.

emm yeah title says it all :P I'll put one up to start with, the only one I know actually, hence the post. It's bad but that's one of the defining properties of a physics joke right? Heisenberg was speeding, a police man stops him and says, "Do you know where you are?" to which Heisenberg...

So here it is: prove that \lim_{n\rightarrow\infty}\frac{\sin x}{n}=6 Hint: algebra I students may not get the joke, but to them the proof comes easy. Okay, so let them flow... post 'em if you got 'em [jokes, that is] .

"My favorite jokes" thread I decided to break the monotony installed with the latest wave of stupid threads occurring in our beloved GD and post my favorite jokes in (American) English. I know some of them are lame. :-p A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she...

There are a number of math-science jokes, one of which goes along the lines of 'Biologists think they are biochemists, Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists, Physical Chemists think they are Physicists, Physicists think they are Gods, And God thinks he is a Mathematician.' (I...

Does anyone know any laser jokes? I'm doing a short presentation on laser diodes and thought it might be fun to include a refreshing page of jokes near the end. I found a few on Google, but none were very funny.

Everyone list your physics jokes here. I have a few ones. In the early 1900's, name foreigners came to america, and they had bad english skills, espeicaly with tense and past tense. So, one day, a german who just entered the country lost track of the time, as he needed to catch a train ...

A tad of fun. In an effort to test the level of humor of the physicist, I posted a list of ten would-be questionable jokes. If you have an interest to give a possible answer or punch line to such jokes then drop by the journal posted by "what_are_electrons". If we get a real demand, maybe...

Lamest joke you know ... :zzz:

Hahaha.. my buddy just showed me a couple of math/physics jokes.. thought I'd share them in a neverending effort to put off exam studying.. I don't know if some of you have seen these before.. Some are corny but they're all worth at least a smile hehe.. Enjoy! Q:What do you get when you cross...

If anyone out there can help me with coming up with some great math-related jokes or sayings, it would be very appriciated. There is a rather large project comming up, and I haven't started yet, but I will also post the ones I find if you are willing to help. I have heard a lot of great ones...