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[quddusaliquddus]

"Once upon a time . . . "

 

[iansmith]

A knight with a shiny amor on a white horse

 

[quddusaliquddus]

...went in search of the biggest () pickle in the world...

 

[Andy]

...but instead he found...

 

[Chi Meson]

three talking gerbils, each of which had magical powers. THe first one could...

 

[BLUE_CHIP]

Summon A pack of Multivariate Experimental Psychologists ( ) the second one...

 

[cragwolf]

...ate the other two gerbils and then was run over by the truck of the film crew shooting a crappy fantasy film about a knight in shining armour on a white horse. Meanwhile, the local residents...

 

[iansmith]

wonder why someone would film a movie in their quiet little town in the middle of nowhere ( )...

 

[jimmy p]

unbeknownst to them it would turn into a diverse populace of tinfoil wearing super-nerds using their "mace +1" to crush orcs and other dungeon dwellers...

 

[dduardo]

Unfortunately all their mana was quickly drained by a hord of elves wearing bowling shoes...

 

[ShawnD]

then batman came and pwned the elves.

 

[cragwolf]

But it soon dawned upon the filmmakers that this wasn't mere fanatical enthusiasm -- the town had actually gone mentally deranged from reading too much stupid fantasy novels and watching too many silly fantasy films, and so the government was brought into sort the mess, at which point...

 

[jimmy p]

... the guillotine was introduced and most of the town had their heads kindly removed by the oh so curropt government. At this point the village idiot (he was so stupid he didnt realize he was living in a town) decided that Something Needed To Be Done.

 

[iansmith]

While he was thinking about doing something to be done, he got distracted by ...

 

[dduardo]

Monty Python's Flying circus, which happened to be passing through town...

 

[Chi Meson]

So the idiot said "What's that penguin doing there? "

 

[dduardo]

And, cut. What the heck is that penguin doing in the background? Shoot it please. Now let's do the scene over, but with more...

 

[BLUE_CHIP]

Chickens trying to burn the hair off that elephant's left nipple, and less...

 

[jimmy p]

... soiling of undergarments.

Bob, watched this happen for a few minutes until he realized he wasnt wearing any pants...again

 

[iansmith]

Bob ran home as quickly as possible but he suddenly tripped on...

 

[Chi Meson]

... a small, rarely significant fundamental particle who screamed "why is everyone killing off my characters? " Suddenly...

 

[hypnagogue]

...the particle spontaneously exploded, propogating a quantum mechanical shockwave into the past and annihilating the next character to be introduced before he even existed, who is/was/would have been...

 

[rathma]

Xena:Warrior Princess, the person who would have dealt with the flying circus and the village idiot, the lack of whom would revert the townsfolk from their super-nerd possessions, and thus save the world. Too bad...

 

[iansmith]

it only happen in the mind of a young and bored physicist.

 

[cragwolf]

After listening to this stimulating story, Bob's psychoanalyst felt rather hot and bothered, so she started undoing the top few buttons of her blouse, and then fixed a sultry gaze upon our young Bob, who...

 

[jimmy p]

wet himself again... as he wasnt wearing any pants a visible yellow trickle flowed down his leg. This caused him to...

 

[iansmith]

to panic . He was rush to the hospital for ...

 

[photon]

...for six hours! It was all over by the time they got to the hospital. The PSYCHOanylist...

 

[jimmy p]

repeatedly slamming his head in the door to stop himself urinating (idiot don't forget!)... the supernerd doctor diagnosed the problem as...

 

[photon]

...interfering with his video-game time. He perscribed Mountain Dew and toaster waffles.

 

[hypnagogue]

Meanwhile, Wigner's friend laughed in triumphant satisfaction at having split the universe in two by looking in on the psychoanalysts's office after Bob's unfortunate wetting incident.

 

[jimmy p]

Mountain Dew?? DAMN you're cruel.

someone else can post a line, I can't think of anything else to say at the moment

 

[photon]

Back at thw ranch, jimmy p is in a phychotic fit. He begins to feel the Mountain Dew he just inhaled. Help the poor boy's lack of self esteem!

 

[jimmy p]

Oh great, now I'm the star of a low budget story board... can I fire my sorry ass? Or would I be forced to drink Mountain Dew if I did?

 

[photon]

Ooh. A bit full of ourself are we?
It's okay, jimmy. Really. We understand that you have certain...issues.

 

[jimmy p]

OK OK so i based the character Bob on myself! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? *bursts into tears*

 

[photon]

(pats on back) It's okay jimmy. You're only ugly on the outside. They're laughing with you, not at you.
You're just special. Just think, you have the special people classes, the special cartoon friends...

 

[rathma]

It's OK jimmy... It's OK. We all knew it, we were just being nice about your little problem... Not anymore! MUWAHAHA!


PS: Then Bob swiveled around in his (slightly damp ) desk chair, and pulled off his mask to reveal his true self, which was...

 

[jimmy p]

yeah, now I'm ugly with a wet patch on my boxers. The cartoon "friends" hate me. I hear them laughing... well I'll show them... whoops, I forgot my trousers.

 

[photon]

The butler! I mean...Jimmy!

BTW: why is it that when jimmy and I start talking, the thread gets WAY off topic?

 

[rathma]

BTW: why is it that when jimmy and I start talking, the thread gets WAY off topic?

Maybe it's because...YOU'RE BOTH LUNATICS?
I don't know though, just a guess. By the way, how long has jimmy been a butler?

 

[jimmy p]

Ever since photon decided. I used to be a monkey butler but you know, evolution and all that. I can still fit in the suit.

 

[photon]

Ever since photon decided. I used to be a monkey butler but you know, evolution and all that. I can still fit in the suit.

LOL! Yeah, remember that "commuter trains" thread that Monique started? That one was way off.

 

[jimmy p]

Oh hell yeah. didnt we plot to take over the world by the end of that?

 

[Andy]

and then the butler went down the pub and got drunk. the end.

 

[Andy]

hmmmmm world domination, how many times did we plot that in our very long boring chemistry lessons?

That and our anti-gravity machine, those where the days.

 

[jimmy p]

oh yes. I remember those happy times too. We didnt go to college to work at all did we?

 

[Andy]

Physics? oh yeah, smashing atoms and all that malarkey.

 

[Artman]

They spoke of world domination, they spoke of anti gravity, they spoke of monkeys wearing butler's uniforms, but as their eyes effusively lingered over one another, it was obvious they were really thinking...

 

[jimmy p]

is that a mask he is wearing? And why arent his lips in sync with his words? My god I'm talking to a...