Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
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Physics news on Phys.org
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My friend visited Russia, steppe by steppe.
 
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Screen shot excerpt from an online questionnaire I was required to fill out for jury duty. Trick question?

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  • #15,210
Baluncore said:
'Bach' does sound like 'back' with the Doric accent, from Aberdeen in Scotland.
How about ' Wattarr' ( Water)? Is that from somewhere in Scotland?
 
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WWGD said:
How about ' Wattarr' ( Water)? Is that from somewhere in Scotland?
I don't know how you pronounce 'wattarr'.
Maybe Irish. I would also look further south, maybe Birmingham Brummie?
 
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Baluncore said:
I don't know how you pronounce 'wattarr'.
Maybe Irish. I would also look further south, maybe Birmingham Brummie?
Good point. Along the lines of 'What are', heavy emphasis on the second 'a', I think describes it.
 
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  • #15,213
Some Essex accents sound like that, especially combining it with a glottal stop on the T (so more like war-ar).
 
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Ibix said:
Some Essex accents sound like that, especially combining it with a glottal stop on the T (so more like war-ar).
I used to watch this show on Geology by prof. Ian Stewart, just because of the accent.
 
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WWGD said:
I used to watch this show on Geology by prof. Ian Stewart, just because of the accent.
Ian Stewart is a maths professor. Iain Stewart is the geologist, who is Scottish. He would definitely not have an Essex accent...
 
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  • #15,217
Ibix said:
Ian Stewart is a maths professor. Iain Stewart is the geologist, who is Scottish. He would definitely not have an Essex accent...
Scottish is funny. It has only two states: either I don't understand a word (e.g. John Higgins) or I understand everything because they basically use German words.
 
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Ibix said:
Ian Stewart is a maths professor. Iain Stewart is the geologist, who is Scottish. He would definitely not have an Essex accent...
Which is pronounced as Eeeen?
 
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fresh_42 said:
Scottish is funny. It has only two states: either I don't understand a word (e.g. John Higgins) or I understand everything because they basically use German words.
Some accents can be quite challenging. My grandad had a story of touring Scotland with some Scottish friends. They got a bit lost and stopped to ask directions. The friend got out, spoke to a passerby came back a moment later and said to my (very English) grandad "Och you go and talk to him. I cannae understand a word he says."
WWGD said:
Which is pronounced as Eeeen?
I know two Iains, both of whom pronounce it exactly the same as Ian.
 
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Ibix said:
Some accents can be quite challenging. My grandad had a story of touring Scotland with some Scottish friends. They got a bit lost and stopped to ask directions. The friend got out, spoke to a passerby came back a moment later and said to my (very English) grandad "Och you go and talk to him. I cannae understand a word he says."

I know two Iains, both of whom pronounce it exactly the same as Ian.
Last I checked Eeeen was Out ;)
 
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WWGD said:
Last I checked Eeeen was Out ;)
There once were two baby skunks called In and Out. It was dinner time and mama skunk looked out of the house and saw Out playing but couldn't see In.

"Out!" she called. "Time for dinner! Where's your brother?"

Without even looking up from his game, Out pointed at some bushes.

"How do you know he's there?" asked mama skunk.

Out rolled his eyes.

"Easy - In stinked."
 
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"Did you put ketchup on the shopping list like I asked you?"

"Yeah, but now I can't read it."
 
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I went to this restaurant last night. The place was packed, so the manager asked: "Do you mind waiting for a bit?" I said "Not at all."

He said, "Great, take these drinks to table 9."
 
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nsaspook said:
The asteroid wasn't destroyed, but neither was the impact object. They plan a variety of other methods with their impact object now.
 
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Pictures leaked of early testings:
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