Coversation starters awkward silence

[photon]

Ever been in that sort of situation with say, a girl, and you just can't think of anything funny to say? awkward silence... Anyone?

 

[Evo]

The dreaded awkward silence.

I think we've all experienced that at some point, well except maybe tribdog.

 

[photon]

Any suggestions? tribdog? Jimmy? Anyone?

Here's the situation: She comes to stand next to me. (cuz I'm so witty and good looking) "hey," she says. "Hi," I reply. I make some joke about the weather or something. She laughs. I can't think of anything to say. She looks down at her shoes. My mouth opens but I can't say anything. What the heck do I say next?

 

[dduardo]

What about...Wow, those are some pretty big feet you got there.

If that doesn't break the silence I don't know what will.

 

[photon]

Good one, dduardo!

 

[tribdog]

lol..big feet.
If I can't think of anything to say I usually say "Damn, I can't think of anything to say." Then I run away screaming and falling down a lot.
Actually that's not a bad thing to say. Tell her your mind short circuits every time she stands next to you. Then just start talking. Quit trying to find the "perfect" thing to say. Most people aren't as gifted as I am so they can't (and aren't expected to) be hilarious all the time. ask her how her day's going. put the burden on her.
Sounds like she's just as nervous as you, perhaps she likes you too. That makes it easier.

 

[Adrian Baker]

Ask a simple open question that gives her the opportunity to reply at length... or not.
Don't say something that only let's her answer 'yes' or 'no'. Eg - Where you surprised by the election result? Do you think of a photon as a particle or as a wave etc...

 

[photon]

Lol Tribdog. Run away screaming, that's a good move.

I like a Adrian's approach. but what if I can't think of anything to say that gives her the opportunity to reply at length? What are some witty things to say?

 

[Evo]

lol..big feet.
If I can't think of anything to say I usually say "Damn, I can't think of anything to say." Then I run away screaming and falling down a lot.
Actually that's not a bad thing to say. Tell her your mind short circuits every time she stands next to you. Then just start talking. Quit trying to find the "perfect" thing to say. Most people aren't as gifted as I am so they can't (and aren't expected to) be hilarious all the time. ask her how her day's going. put the burden on her.
Sounds like she's just as nervous as you, perhaps she likes you too. That makes it easier.

That's excellent advice. You amaze me tribdog.

 

[tribdog]

lol, I know. I amaze myself sometimes too. I'm a romantic, this stuff is what I'm best at.

 

[dduardo]

Ask a [complex] question that gives her the opportunity to reply at length

For example:

What are your feelings on the ramifications of quantum mechanics in terms of our social-ecomonic well being in the next century.

Then when she says: What?

You reply: That's exactly what I was thinking. Wow, we really do think alike.

 

[Evo]

Photon, if your mind goes blank, you can never go wrong complementing her about something, for example her shoes, clothes, hair. But as trib & Adrian said, ask her something that she'll have to answer in some detail. If you go to the same school, ask her about something that is going on, or about her classes. Uhm….

OMG, it's been so long since I dated I don't remember how to carry on a conversation anymore.

 

[tribdog]

Put a tin of Altoids in your pocket and when she's near pop one in your mouth. Offer her one. Nobody says no to Altoids. then you have tons of opportunities for mentioning "kissably fresh breath"

 

[devious_]

For example:

What are your feelings on the ramifications of quantum mechanics in terms of our social-ecomonic well being in the next century.

Then when she says: What?

You reply: That's exactly what I was think. Wow, we really do think alike.

Haha... I'm so using that.

 

[Chrono]

The dreaded awkward silence.

I think we've all experienced that at some point

I'm still experiencing it with girls.

 

[Smurf]

The dreaded awkward silence.

I think we've all experienced that at some point

You mean it ends? I've been getting them for 10 years i thought it was just how you do it.

 

[photon]

What are your feelings on the ramifications of quantum mechanics in terms of our social-ecomonic well being in the next century.

Then when she says: What?

You reply: That's exactly what I was thinking. Wow, we really do think alike.

Wow, you are a genius. We should talk more.

 

[Chrono]

Put a tin of Altoids in your pocket and when she's near pop one in your mouth. Offer her one. Nobody says no to Altoids. then you have tons of opportunities for mentioning "kissably fresh breath"

Want an Altoid?

 

[fourier jr]

I'm still experiencing it with girls.

i'm just starting to get over it; i think it's because I'm just older now (& maybe more mature too). i usually think of something beforehand & imagine what i'll be doing ~2 minutes in the future, so I'm psyched & i don't run out of things to say. usually it's a girl I've seen around before but never talked to, so i just ask how things have been going so far, or what they're up to, what they're doing there wherever they are, etc. maybe i'll try to find something unique about the girl, like if her hair is a bit different than other girls' (pigtails or braids instead of a ponytail, etc), or big hoop earrings, if she looks more dressed-up than everyone else, or whatever. they seem to go out of their way to be a bit different, but you've got to really mean it when you notice something & say it looks good.

 

[tribdog]

i'm just starting to get over it; i think it's because I'm just older now (& maybe more mature too). i usually think of something beforehand & imagine what i'll be doing ~2 minutes in the future, so I'm psyched & i don't run out of things to say. usually it's a girl I've seen around before but never talked to, so i just ask how things have been going so far, or what they're up to, what they're doing there wherever they are, etc. maybe i'll try to find something unique about the girl, like if her hair is a bit different than other girls' (pigtails or braids instead of a ponytail, etc), or big hoop earrings, if she looks more dressed-up than everyone else, or whatever. they seem to go out of their way to be a bit different, but you've got to really mean it when you notice something & say it looks good.

No offense, but this is bad advice. You have to be careful handing out compliments to someone you don't know. It's easy to come across as either obssesed, desperate or just plain strange. Wait til you are actually trying to get in her pants before you start the compliments.
ps. this post was just to throw off anyone who was starting to think I was sensitive. I meant it though about being careful with premature compliments.

 

[fourier jr]

i didn't mean right away, as in 1st to say to her, but once you've talked a bit

 

[Chrono]

You know, the conversation starter is important, but you got to do some work for her to actually stay and listen to what you have to say.

You know how hard that is?

 

[JasonRox]

Why does it have to be funny?

 

[tribdog]

It doesn't, but funny is easier. and funny is sexy. and if you are already laughing when you get dissed there is less danger of breaking down into tears.

 

[tribdog]

You know, the conversation starter is important, but you got to do some work for her to actually stay and listen to what you have to say.

You know how hard that is?

Again I must play the contrarian. The conversation starter really isn't that important. Take me for example do you realize how often I start threads that are completely worthless. I started one the other day saying my bum itched. And people responded.
The important thing isn't the conversation starter. the important thing is starting a conversation. Don't worry too much about what to say or how to say it. If life gives you lemons you just bite the bullet and go for it.

 

[Evo]

Take me for example do you realize how often I start threads that are completely worthless. I started one the other day saying my bum itched. And people responded.

Because people care about you, and/or are bored and will respond to anything.

 

[tribdog]

Exactly!
and people everywhere care or are bored and will respond to anything. That's why I say the important thing isn't what you say, but that you say anything at all.

 

[tumor]

This always breaks the ice: let's shag!

 

[Math Is Hard]

My experience has been that people lo-o-ove to talk about themselves. (hey- me included!) If you want to get a conversation going, that's the best topic: the other person. What are their interests, what are their goals, where are they from, etc. If you can get the other person talking about him/herself, you don't have to do a thing.

 

[Chrono]

My experience has been that people lo-o-ove to talk about themselves. (hey- me included!) If you want to get a conversation going, that's the best topic: the other person. What are their interests, what are their goals, where are they from, etc. If you can get the other person talking about him/herself, you don't have to do a thing.

Well, personally, if someone asks me to describe myself I always come up with a blank. But, as Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

 

[Math Is Hard]

Lesson Two

OK, photon, you've read all the advice now, but I think it's time to move from theory to application.
Now, let's pretend I'm a young lady (I HEARD that, you guys - quit laughin'! ) at your school. You come up to me and say,
"Hey."
I say, "Hey." and then look down at my shoes. :shy:

Your move. What do you say? (Just throw something out there and we'll give you feedback.)

 

[photon]

So, i haven't talked to you in a while...

 

[Math Is Hard]

ok, I think that's good, BUT there's almost an implication there, like maybe she should feel guilty because she hasn't been around or hasn't talked to you. (But I over read things). Also, you are using a statement vs. a question, which doesn't require conversational response. Maybe try something like, "Hey, I haven't seen you around. Classes keeping you busy? What are you taking right now?" note: Last sentence is interrogative requiring her to respond, so it can keep the conversation flowing.

Any others want to give feedback on this?

 

[tribdog]

and she says, "Yeah, I usually see you coming and can duck behind a garbage can."

 

[photon]

and she says, "Yeah, I usually see you coming and can duck behind a garbage can."

i hate you. (and i mean that in the best possible way.)

Math is Hard:
Okay, sounds good. I want to sound like I care. How can I make her laugh after this exchange? She thinks I'm a riot.

 

[Math Is Hard]

She thinks you're a riot? Well, then it's half in the bag! I think what you're stressing about is this pressure to be funny all the time - and you don't have to be! Would you want to be around someone who is making jokes constantly? (no offense, trib) It's perfectly ok to have non-humorous conversations with her. Just ENGAGE her in conversation. Let the comedy follow naturally. You want her to like you for YOU, right? But your natural sense of humor is not all there is to what makes you special - you're also very intelligent, sincere, and kind. You should let her see all of your great qualities, not just one.

 

[photon]

Great! So I just sort of talk, sounding like I care, (i do care) and try to relax and go with the flow? I can handle that. I'll do just that when I see her tommorrow. But now, I'm going to hit the sack, so I'll post updates tommorow afternoon.

Later

 

[Math Is Hard]

yes, if you are at ease, you'll put her at ease. Then things will get moving.
good night. good luck!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The following line worked well for me: Do you need help giving that enema to your patient?

 

[Math Is Hard]

The following line worked well for me: Do you need help giving that enema to your patient?

Is that how you met Tsu??
How romantic!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

We spent our first date moving mobile CAT Scanners and doing ER patients.

 

[Math Is Hard]

We spent our first date moving mobile CAT Scanners and doing ER patients.

That is SO cute! I'm always complaining I never meet any guys at work.

 

[Smurf]

ok, I think that's good, BUT there's almost an implication there, like maybe she should feel guilty because she hasn't been around or hasn't talked to you. (But I over read things). Also, you are using a statement vs. a question, which doesn't require conversational response. Maybe try something like, "Hey, I haven't seen you around. Classes keeping you busy? What are you taking right now?" note: Last sentence is interrogative requiring her to respond, so it can keep the conversation flowing.

Any others want to give feedback on this?

So it's true, women analyze everything

P.S. Your all insane.

 

[tribdog]

doing er patients? What the hell is "doing er patients?"
There are laws about that you know

 

[Smurf]

Tribdog, ER stands for Emergency Room, so they were probably unconscious when they did them, that's OK

 

[tribdog]

oh, if they were unconscious. nevermind

 

[JasonRox]

It doesn't, but funny is easier. and funny is sexy. and if you are already laughing when you get dissed there is less danger of breaking down into tears.

He said awkwards silence, and not awkward moment of laughter.

It doesn't have to be funny right out of the blue all the damn time. If you try to hard to impress, you will find yourself stuck for the rest of your life.

I used to have difficulties, but I go over myself with stupid imagining bull****. Just talk and funny things come around. Your first line does not have be funny, since that may seem like you are trying to hard.

 

[JasonRox]

So it's true, women analyze everything

P.S. Your all insane.

I analyze everything, but AFTER the event. Not so helpful, since you realize you are an idiot AFTER the event.

 

[Chrono]

That is SO cute! I'm always complaining I never meet any guys at work.

All the girls I've met are from work. It makes it hard if they already have a boyfriend, however.

 

[Math Is Hard]

So it's true, women analyze everything.

Not all women. That's a generalization. But I am definitely an over-analyzer, which probably has more to do with me being an analyst by profession than anything else.

P.S. Your all insane.

Who are you calling insane? All women? Or all of the posters to this thread?

All the girls I've met are from work. It makes it hard if they already have a boyfriend, however.

All the guys I work with are married or gay.