Dating advice from our equine friends HUH?

[netgypsy]

dating advice from our equine friends HUH?

We have equine fanciers in the family and after reading some of the posts on walking up to a woman to start a conversation they started laughing and said we all need to take lessons from our equine friends so according to them, here's what they tell us.

Humans think they are so unique and have problems like no other species. SOOOO not true. Our equine boys are always looking for romance.

Step 1 The Male always looks good, is well groomed, takes care that he has a decent physique, no missing teeth, no BO

Step 2 Male hangs out near places their type of ladies frequent (no not the ladies loo), surreptitiously checking them out, acting cool and somewhat disinterested.

Step 3 Females are also checking out the males as they hang out with friends and pretend they aren't interested.

Step 4 Female gives the male she thinks is cute, a little bit longer look, a few extra looks.

Step 5 Male will move a little closer to the lady who is checking him out and give her the slightest look

Step 6 Female shows a bit more interest with body language and maybe a little smile or comment (and yes the equine ladies are masters of flirting)

Step 7 - Male acts cool and says something to make her laugh.

Step 8 - Now time to chat and see if there is any real interest on her part or if she is just making herself feel better because she can attract a male.

The reason our equine friends are such perfect models for romance is because IF the male is too aggressive when the female is not interested, she literally KICKS HIS BUTT and chases him to far ends of the Earth so the males really pay attention to non verbal communication.

IF the equine guys see an attractive group of females, they show off, they dance, they talk, and if one shows interest, they even share their food with her. (Our equine friends almost NEVER share food) If she's interested they smooch, he scratches her back and woos her with style. And he NEVER makes a move unless she is really interested, no matter how long he's known her.

So our equine brothers say PAY ATTENTION, make her laugh, be attentive, show your best side and if she's not interested, stay cool because she may be interested another day or she may have a friend who is interested.

And humans think they are different - HAH

(End of lesson from our equine teachers

 

[Mentallic]

Such a lengthy post and by the end of it I still had no clue as to what species the equine was.

Oh and I don't think many people deny that some animals are quite smart indeed, and I'd even consider flirting to be a natural instinct in some cases, which sidesteps the prerequisite to be intelligent.

 

[netgypsy]

Google equine. Most guys have equine envy, for a very good reason.

Speaking of intelligence I overheard someone say "Have you ever noticed someone you thought was really good looking until they opened they mouth?" Intelligence does matter when it comes to human attraction.

 

[jtbell]

Google equine.

...which led me to...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equus_(genus)#Classification

Which one of these?

 

[netgypsy]

Take your pick - although some are extinct - probably poor dating skills.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I saw a lovely bunch of fillies and was ready to start horsing around but my wife said nay.

 

[I like Serena]

The reason our equine friends are such perfect models for romance is because IF the male is too aggressive when the female is not interested, she literally KICKS HIS BUTT and chases him to far ends of the Earth so the males really pay attention to non verbal communication.

Been there. Done that. And I got the lecture that she was "just being nice".

However, I'm still in touch with her, but I think she only loves me for my mind...

 

[Evo]

Loved it netgypsy!

 

[netgypsy]

I saw a lovely bunch of fillies and was ready to start horsing around but my wife said nay.

The family members knowledgeable about our equine brothers say that in a herd with one stallion and multiple wives, boss wife does not allow any fooling around by husband until she is no long interested in him.

(Of course this is a DNA survival advantage - her foal will be larger and stronger, get the best food and the pick of spouses - but they don't think of it like that - they just beat up the other ladies who go near their man until they're more concerned with the kid on the way)

I wouldn't count on this working with humans though. Our ladies with the big sticks have not lost interest despite long years and multiple children.

 

[AlephZero]

IF the male is too aggressive when the female is not interested, she literally KICKS HIS BUTT and chases him to far ends of the earth

Hence the Arabic saying when plotting revenge or retaliation for something: "I am not to be kicked on the nose like a stallion." (No comment about people who can't tell one end of a horse form the other...)

 

[rootX]

I am confused. When horses started giving advices on relationships

 

[Evo]

I am confused. When horses started giving advices on relationships

Have you ever known a horse to give bad dating advice?

 

[netgypsy]

And horses are very clear about the role of the genders.

The male's role is to support the boss mare, keep the ladies happy (and he finds them all attractive regardless of age) and be the protector and caretaker of the ladies and the kids against outside dangers, IF they should need it.

The female's role is to take help care of the kids and the boss female takes the herd to the best restaurants while trying to avoid muggers and other external dangers while the male follows along quite happily. The boss mare is the holder of all the herd knowledge which she passes on to her daughters.

(the stallion is fired if he can't keep up his part of the bargain. Viagra is not yet available for him should he have that sort of problem)