vanhees71 said:
It doesn't matter too much, where this comes from. It seems a bit superficial anyway, as the discussion so far already shows.
In my opinion it's generally misleading to tell that interactions are "mediated by particles" when discussing quantum field theories for the public. The usual narrative starts with electromagnetism, which is a good choice since we have at least some everyday experience with electromagnetic interactions. Most directly the electrostatic force comes to mind or the force which holds a magnet on the fridge. A not so direct but still intuitive fact is that light, radio/cell-phone waves, X-rays, etc. all are electromagnetic wave fields of different frequency/wave lengths.
It takes a bit more effort to make the "particle" narrative work for quantum mechanics than the field narrative, I agree. The narrative doesn't handle diffraction (single slit or double slit) very gracefully. Single slit diffraction is already a bit of a stretch for the narrative, when one adds in the interference fringes and the nulls that result from the double slit experiment, the narrative really struggles.
One can always add onto to the popular narrative, as Feynman did in QED, that the particles take "all possible paths" and "interfere with themselves". Unfortunately, Feynman doesn't really demonstrate how to use the narrative to calculate much of anything in QED.
The narrative does suggest that the Euler-Lagrange equations are the classical limit of QED, which is a good thing to know. But it may be lost on the reader who isn't familiar with the Euler - Lagrange equations, arising from the principle of least action.
I do think that starting with the principle of least action, the Lagrangian of discrete systems, and then moving onto the field concept as a Lagrangian density, i.e. Lagrangian field theory, for continuous systems, is more productive. And certainly, classical gravity can be understood as a Lagrangian field theory. With the right background, the resulting mathematics is very simple to write down
$$\mathcal{L}_g = \sqrt{-g} R$$
which basically relates the contribution of gravity to the Lagrangian as being proportional to a single number R, which is an invariant associated with the curvature of space-time.
While this doesn't result in an understanding of quantum gravity, at the moment there is no agreed-on theory of quantum gravity, so it's unrealistic to expect a popularization of quantum gravity.
Unfortunately, popular readers get very attached to their narrative, it's easier to give them a sequel to their existing narrative than to have them start reading a new narrative, a new story, even if it turns out to be a very good and gripping story.
Still, it may be good to at least point out the existence of such narratives, even if experience leads me to believe it will be difficult to get a reader to pay attention to them, that they'd rather stick with the familiar stories than read new ones.