Help Needed! Overcoming Calculus Learning Challenges

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Hey, folks. Sorry if this is the incorrect forum, but I need some help.

I'm currently in my first Calculus class (dealing, now, w/ derivatives), and it relies heavily on the use of CourseCompass' MyMathLab. For me, at least, this is the most discouraging possible way of learning and practicing Calc., and it's not helping me in the slightest bit. The more homework I wade through, the more my enjoyment of mathematics is smothered. When I manage to glean something of importance, I revere the moment—and those few mathematical epiphanies wherein I genuinely learn something new are fueling me through this class.

Next semester, I'm going to take Calculus II, but I dread the fact that this, too, will use MyMathLab. I know that there are a lot of formulas involved in mathematics, thus, there is a lot of memorization, but "practicing" math problems with only memorized formulas and no actual understanding of what it all means isn't what I want to do, or how I think math should be learned.

That being said, the infinitely frustrating MyMathLab isn't helping me understand anything, and I'm having an increasingly hard time putting things into context by myself (luckily, derivatives aren't too difficult).

Can anyone suggest some good literature, websites, or even perspectives that would help a first-time Calculus student? Maybe I'm just approaching MyMathLab negatively?
 
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I thought stewart's book was very good when I went through calc, if you could get your hands on that it would help. His http://www.stewartcalculus.com/media/4_home.php" has a lot of resources too.
 
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I hear that Spivak's Calculus is a very good and very theoretically-thorough textbook. I just picked it up myself from my university's library. You may want to take a peek at that.

just curious, do you intend to major in mathematics? If so, you shouldn't have to dread this system much longer... from what I can tell, math becomes more proof-based rather than problem/exercise-based, so such a system in which you describe can't be used effectively for much longer.
 
Try searching for calculus on "www.youtube.com"[/URL]; there are many videos that should be helpful to you.
 
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I'd like to major in some form of Physics, Whitishcube. :)

Thanks for the suggestions, guys. Some of the things you've posted are already helping out a lot. I'll pick up what literature I an in the library tomorrow.
 
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