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How does the female mind work ?

  1. Apr 4, 2003 #1


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    Greetings !

    Well, this forum appears to be a bit "slow"
    lately. So, nothing like a controversial
    (and bloody ) multiple page discussion,
    (orginally from PF2) about how the female
    mind works - to get it moving again.

    Try to answer all the critical aspects (and
    get frustratingly dissapointed, as usual, at the
    lack of any clear answers ).

    Live long and prosper.
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 5, 2003 #2


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    Com'mon !

    - What do gals like most in a guy(and is there
    such a thing at all) ?
    - What do they think of guys in general ?
    - Why do gals appear to lack sense of
    humour and sometimes have "female ego" ?
    (Their answer to such a question will be an
    example of that I bet. )
    - Does size matter ? (Of IQ, of course. :wink:)
    - Anything else you always wondered about
    but never dared to ask...

    I'm putting myself in serious danger here
    just to get the thread going - don't
    let my sacrifice be in vain !

    Live long and prosper.
  4. Apr 6, 2003 #3
    First off... I would like to clarify that I am female.

    - What do gals like most in a guy(and is there
    such a thing at all) ?

    answer: Of course, I can only speak for my personal experience and this question is difficult for me to answer because there are a lot of issues involved. But if somebody *really* wants to know the answer to this question, they can just PM me.

    But to reduce it down to the lowest common denominator... and of course, also a generalization... one can increase the probability of recieving the affection of a female by doing the following:

    1) making them feel good.
    2) making them laugh.


    - What do they think of guys in general ?

    answer: I personally get along much better with males. I hate to say this, but women drive me crazy for very involved reasons which I wont go into at the moment. Consequently, the vast majority of my friends are male. I have noticed that this is not unusual for the "female science nerds" type. Perhaps an over generalization...

    - Why do gals appear to lack sense of
    humour and sometimes have "female ego" ?
    (Their answer to such a question will be an
    example of that I bet. )

    answer: Ha! First off, I have a sense of humor, and most females I havce come across, I have noticed, have one. If anything, perhaps the females you have come across have a different kind of sense of humor than you do. And, I have no idea what you mean by the "female ego" bit.

    - Does size matter ? (Of IQ, of course. )

    answer: Sure!

    - Anything else you always wondered about
    but never dared to ask...

    answer: Go on... I'll answer anything.
  5. Apr 6, 2003 #4
    "How does the female mind work ?"

    That, I do believe, was the question ... Was it not?

    Taking for granted that 'mind' = 'brain', I'd have to
    say: 'Basically, the same as the male's 'mind', but with
    different priorities and sensitivities due to a different
    hormonal environment.'
  6. Apr 6, 2003 #5


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    Greetings !
    That's exactly what I mean. :wink:
    If you were to critisize a guy (or me at least)
    in the above way - I'd find it funny and
    respond with some joke or at most - ask why ?
    Gals ussualy "dig in" and take it as an insult
    right away and try to either justify themselves or
    even "strike back" (which I must credit you for not doing).
    Looks like an ego to me...:wink:

    "different priorities and sensitivities" - Go on ! :wink:

    Live long and prosper.
  7. Apr 6, 2003 #6
    Kind of amusing to this thread in the How Stuff Works forum...

    I can't see how a group of minds can be expected to work the same. I wonder what you'd call a 'female mind'. One that belongs to a female, or one that thinks like a 'typical' female? Would you say you think like other males, Drag? Sorry if that sounds like waffle. I blame it on sleep deprivation...
  8. Apr 6, 2003 #7
    Basic (universal?)

    Re. different priorities:

    Female: Select impregnator; retain impregnator while incubating new life;
    protect and teach resulting offspring while retaining selected impregnator;
    when offspring is sufficiently independent, repeat (usually with initial impregnator).

    Male: Impregnate accepting female; possibly bond with female, feed and protect if bonded;
    possibly bond with offspring, feed and protect if bonding occurs;
    re-impregnate accepting female if bonding has occurred, else
    impregnate another accepting female.

    Re. different sensitivities:

    Female: Must avoid anything which may endanger a fetus.

    Male: Must avoid anything which may endanger his status.

    Those are the things that come to mind.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2003
  9. Apr 6, 2003 #8
    I think... what can be refered to as the "female mind" is the "feminine gendered mind".

    What I mean by that is... gender is a social construct (keeping in mind that there is a difference between "gender" and "sex").

    I was raised to be feminine and heterosexual. -I was raised to wear the clothing sold in the female clothing stores, shave my legs, armpits, wear make up, walk a certain way, have a certain kind of body language, look a certain way... etc. That is part of the feminine gender role i was programmed with. People respond to such gendered behavior in certain ways, and one engages with the world in certain ways because of that. Hence, the shaping of what I think drag might be refering to as "the female mind".

    There are more similiarities than there are differences amongst males and females... its just that the differences are exagerated.

    On that note..

    F*ck gender roles.
  10. Apr 6, 2003 #9
    In that between the sexes the psychology, physiology, and endocrinology are quite different ... What is being 'exaggerated', pray tell?
  11. Apr 6, 2003 #10

    "men do not have breasts." or, "men have a smaller chest than females."

    I have seen several men that have a chest the same size or bigger than an A cup female. That particular difference is exagerated. Im not talking about C or D cups... Im talking about what some refer to as "man boobies".- Ever seen that Seinfeld episode where they invent, "the bro" (a male version of the bra?) That is what Im talking about.

    "women are irrational."

    Ugh. I've heard this one more times than you can shake a stick at. Irrationality is not something exclusive to females... if one is going to say "women are irrational", it would make more sense to say "humans are irrational". Oh wait, I forgot... males are perfectly logical and rational creatures. My bad.

    To name a few. There are countless other differences in which are grossly exagerated.
  12. Apr 6, 2003 #11


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    Greetings !
    They don't. But, they do share some common traits.
    In general outlines - I do act like other males.
    Another intresting point Entropia. Why do gals
    often seem to stress the point that they are
    forced to act and think the way they do because
    of the way the present world expects them to ?
    Is the world really forcing it or is it more
    of a "group instinct" or maybe females just
    see clearly a general "trend" they wan'na follow ?
    (Not that males aren't partialy the same, but they
    seem to have more "freedom" nevertheless - wether
    its good or bad for them.)
    Now you're "striking back"...
    A totally rational and logical "thing" is a robot
    and can not be "intellegent" or "sentient".

    Live long and prosper.
  13. Apr 7, 2003 #12
    "Another intresting point Entropia. Why do gals
    often seem to stress the point that they are
    forced to act and think the way they do because
    of the way the present world expects them to ?"

    This can be a rather complicated and involved issue. I know several females whose self esteem is dependent on what people think about them, and how many males they can attract. Hence, they give a damn about these constructed standards of beauty... I mean, thousands of women jeopardize their health, and some even die or suffer unpleasant consequences in attempts to be "beautiful" (Im particularly talking about females with eating disorders... they are literally dying to be thin)
  14. Apr 7, 2003 #13
    I hear this a lot from women.
    I don't think it's constrained to "female science nerds". But I do observe that it tends to be a trait of "down-to-earth" women. The type that have a larger than normal amount of common sense, and the type that doesn't play quite as many mind games.
  15. Apr 7, 2003 #14

    Your reply was so superficial and off-topic, it's not
    worth attempting a serious discussion with you.
  16. Apr 7, 2003 #15
    This statement makes little sense to me. The implications of the stated 'observation', as well as the language used, is somewhat questionable to say the least.

    Why do you believe that women with a 'larger than normal' amount of common sense and an aversion to 'mind games' are drawn towards males for friendship? The insinuation of your statement appears to be either: a) the 'normal' amount of common sense for a woman is considerably less than that for a man, the difference acting as an obstacle to the establishment of friendship between the two genders; or b) (which is, I suspect, simply an unfortunate consequence of the way the observation was phrased) That it is just good common sense to make friends with men rather than women.

    Of course, there is a third possibility: That women with higher levels of common sense are capable of recognising and dismissing perceived boundaries between the genders in the context of platonic relationships. This, whilst easily being perhaps the most aggreable of the three implications does little to explain why such women are drawn to men rather than women (unless taken in conjunction with either a) or b)).

    Equally dubious is the implication that 'mind games' are mainly the confined to women. Although not explicitly stated, your post does seem to infer this. Otherwise there would be no reason for a 'down to Earth' woman to be drawn towards men if it were the case that both genders were equally likely to indulge in such games.

    The matter of the difference in levels of common sense is problematic as you haven't specified what you've defined as 'common sense', or how you've observed it. Do most of the women where you are play with naked flames near flammable materials? Frequently try to walk through doors before opening them? Keep getting caught up in the elaborate scams of salesmen claiming to offer magic beans? To generalise further, what's the ratio between the genders for spending wisely, sensibly preparing for an exam or a job interview, or not building castles in a swamp? I labour the point because I have a perculiar loathing of this concept of 'common sense'. It is an inconclusive and nebulous term at best, and frequently serves little purpose other than to act as an excuse not to apply rigorous analysis to complex issues or problems (i.e. "It's just common sense" being used as a justification for an argument that otherwise lacks supporting evidence).

    As for the issue of the tendencies of either gender to resort to 'mind games' it is worth remembering that the doctrine of "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" and the phenomenon of the 'playa'
    are almost entirely attributed to male behaviour, a telling fact whether or not you consider such examples as mainly folklore. Both of the given examples make a virtue of manipulation in service to a selfish aim. Also, it is my general experience that women, just as much as men, are likely to complain of their partner playing mind games. Interestingly, one common complaint that I've heard is of men turning round at the tip of a hat and classifying even innocent behaviour on the female's part as being evidence that 'mind games' are afoot, i.e. a woman's behaviour which the male finds disagreeable is branded as manipulative and she is thus warned that any repeat of that behaviour will be met with a similar stinging assessment of their character.

    Of course mind games do exist, and I would wager that both genders are equally likely to resort to them. However, it's my opinion that a lot of the claims of mind games are a combination of one party's behaviour or an aspect of their personality provoking the paranoia of the other, who then perceives that they are deliberately being manipulated. As an example, one of the most common complaints I've heard from males is that a woman is 'blowing hot and cold' on them (which, taken literally, actually sounds like quite a pleasant treat, but I digress...). The simple fact that she may not feel like being 'hot' all the time, or that her behaviour may at different times be affected by concerns about the relationship which she doesn't feel confident enough to voice seem to play little part in the reasoning of the male, who typically finds it far more satisfying to conclude that she must be either mentally unbalanced or in the midst of hatching some grand scheme to destroy his sanity. This is even more so the case should she then break off the relationship, in which case she is seen to obviously be one of Hitler's clones in drag.

    This post has tended to go somewhat off topic, but that is because it is attempting to highlighting the inaccuracies in the idea of most women being silly creatures who are incapable of reigning in their preferences for manipulation and folly (an idea going back to the bible, with poor old 'Not just down to but *of* the Earth Adam being lulled into eating apples by that superficial spare rib on legs) which is implicit in the post to which this is an answer.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2003
  17. Apr 8, 2003 #16

    My answer to YOUR question... is just as "off topic" as your question (which i think... was arguably relevant enough).

    Your right. Im sorry. Discussing "female" behavior in relation to gender differences and similarities have absolutely nothing to do with "how the 'female' mind works".
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2003
  18. Apr 8, 2003 #17
    Okay, Entropia.

    Do you accept that females, after puberty, experience pre-menstrual hormonal changes that affect behavior?

    If so, please describe the male equivalent.
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2003
  19. Apr 8, 2003 #18
    I would say "very questionable" opposed to "somewhat questionable". :smile:
    I wasn't sure exactly what I meant either. I couldn't come up with a good adjective and chose the poor phrase "down-to-earth". Then when even I didn't understand what that meant, I tried to clarify it better, but probably ended up muddling it further. I should have cut it shorter instead.

    In no way did I intend to insinuate anything of the kind. I personally believe that neither men nor women are endowed with more common sense than the other based on their gender. As far as 'b' goes, I would say it is good common sense to make friends with people you get along with, (isn't that usually the case?) again not based purely on gender.

    It was not explicitly stated because it is not what I would ever say.

    I wasn't even considering the male gender in any of my pitiable phrases, and I was certainly not comparing women to men but to other women. "The type that doesn't play as many mind games" should be read as "the type of woman that doesn't play as many mind games as some other women do." Same thing for the "common sense" thing which, I agree, is particularly phrased poorly.

    Let me try to start over....

    I hear this a lot from women.
    I don't think it's constrained to "female science nerds".
    (so far so good...)
    I'm not really sure what "type" of woman it is constrained to, if any, but I observe that many women that feel this way wouldn't be labeled a science nerd.
  20. Apr 8, 2003 #19
    Why bother? It doesn't matter.
    How about talking about the effect changing hormones have on a woman's mind? This might lead to some insight as to how the female mind works. Since we obviously still need some clues. :wink:
  21. Apr 9, 2003 #20
    I think it does matter, J-Man.

    I would imagine that Entropia's replies to specific questions,
    such as the one I posed, would give some 'insight' into the
    workings of 'a' female's mind (taking for granted that Entropia
    is a female).
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