How is a physics nerd like me supposed to meet women?

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An undergraduate physics major expresses frustration with the dating scene, feeling isolated due to his introverted nature and the male-dominated environment of his classes. Despite attending parties and coffee shops, he struggles to connect with women, often finding them in relationships or uninterested in conversation. Suggestions from others include expanding social circles by meeting more people, joining clubs or activities with a better gender mix, and being open to interactions with women, even those with boyfriends. The discussion highlights the importance of socializing beyond academic settings and suggests that engaging in hobbies or interests can lead to more meaningful connections. There's also a recognition that initial judgments about people can be misleading, as individuals may reveal different sides when engaged one-on-one. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the need for proactive social engagement and the potential for finding connections in unexpected places.
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Let me start by saying a little about myself. I'm an undergrad physics major, I like school and I work really hard at it. I'm also very introverted, and that combination means I don't have much of a social life. I have a lot of acquantances, but very few close friends, all of them male. I've never had a serious girlfriend.

So I'm getting really frustrated with the "dating scene". I go to parties and bars, but that's really not my thing- I usually just end up standing around by myself being bored. I've tried to meet girls through my classes, but of course since those are mostly physics and math classes, they end up being 3/4 male, and I have nothing to talk about with the few girls in them except the class itself anyway. Tonight I tried going to a coffeeshop, but all the women there were with men who were obviously their boyfriend.

What the heck am I supposed to do? Is there some secret location where intelligent women go to meet guys that I don't know about?
 
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there are probably lots of places women meet guys you don't know. Unless you know every guy.
 
i don't think intelligent women roam in packs. sounds like you're doing alright if you go to parties and bars and coffee shops. bout the best you can do. maybe take up a new hobby so you have something interesting to talk about. where're you from?
 
I'd say meet any woman you can and get to be friends, or at least good acquaintances with them. That includes ALL women about your age. All those women you meet have friends who are women, and eventually you'll meet those friends. After a while, you'll know lots of women. Why not meet women with boyfriends? Every woman with a boyfriend has a female friend who doesn't have a boyfriend. All the boyfriends have sisters. The more people you meet and interact with the greater your chances of encountering a potential girlfriend.
 
Military strategy is your friend. Get close to your target and learn what makes it tick. Take action. Join a Home Ec class, lots of women there. Join a yoga or pilates class. Go see movies like "The Princess Diaries". Visit flower shops and craft boutiques that women frequent. If you don't meet women this way then at least by the time you're done you will be so gay your problem will have solved itself.
 
Orefa said:
Military strategy is your friend. Get close to your target and learn what makes it tick. Take action. Join a Home Ec class, lots of women there. Join a yoga or pilates class. Go see movies like "The Princess Diaries". Visit flower shops and craft boutiques that women frequent. If you don't meet women this way then at least by the time you're done you will be so gay your problem will have solved itself.

And then bomb them!

Wait, would you really want to be with a girl that spent her time at a flower shop or craft boutique?
 
Pengwuino said:
Wait, would you really want to be with a girl that spent her time at a flower shop or craft boutique?
Damn, the enemy has you flanked. Retreat! Retreat!
 
Hmm, I don't know if I really want to go about this thinking of women as "the enemy". I guess what you're all saying though, is try to meet as many people as possible, even if it doesn't directly lead to dating situations. I do try to do this, but I'm just not very good at socializing.
 
pi-r8 said:
Hmm, I don't know if I really want to go about this thinking of women as "the enemy". I guess what you're all saying though, is try to meet as many people as possible, even if it doesn't directly lead to dating situations. I do try to do this, but I'm just not very good at socializing.
Why not? Don't you like people?
 
  • #10
In General? No. I only rarely meet people that I like.
 
  • #11
pi-r8 said:
In General? No. I only rarely meet people that I like.
Hmmm...that could be a big hinderence, then. Most people get along because they enjoy knowing and interacting with a pretty big variety of people. The differences interest them as much as, if not more than, the similarities.
 
  • #12
Well, maybe I'm too picky, but it seems like most of the people I might talk about nothing except how drunk they were last night, or where they can find a party to go get drunk at tonight. The people I do get along with are the people who are actually different.
 
  • #13
You probably just need to learn how to read signals (and no, I can't teach you or really give you any hints). It sounds like you are around a decent numbers of women, and you must interact with them to some extent. I'm sure they realize you exist and one or two probably have at least a cursory interest in you. If you just hold your head up and get out of the muck it sounds like you're in, chances are you'll notice this at some point and then all you have to do is make your move. These things work pretty organically. Mostly you just have to be receptive and let it happen; a certain amount of aggression (perhaps initiative is a better word) is needed, but not so much that you're the only one doing anything.
 
  • #14
pi-r8 said:
Well, maybe I'm too picky, but it seems like most of the people I might talk about nothing except how drunk they were last night, or where they can find a party to go get drunk at tonight. The people I do get along with are the people who are actually different.

Why not just get laid?

That can be fun. Just do that while you search for the good girl.
 
  • #15
JasonRox said:
Why not just get laid?

That can be fun. Just do that while you search for the good girl.

To add to this, it might turn out that you've really prematurely judged some of these people, anyway. Plenty of girls that talk about stupid, pointless crap when they're in large social gatherings turn out to be thoughtful, intelligent people when you finally get them alone. They just morph into ultra-idiot when they get into packs. Blame TV, I guess.
 
  • #16
loseyourname said:
To add to this, it might turn out that you've really prematurely judged some of these people, anyway. Plenty of girls that talk about stupid, pointless crap when they're in large social gatherings turn out to be thoughtful, intelligent people when you finally get them alone. They just morph into ultra-idiot when they get into packs. Blame TV, I guess.

That's basically it.

Go have fun with them. Get to know them before talking crap.

I don't think TV is to blame. I think it's just a basic social behaviour.

Note: This might seem really rude... what about to say. Actually, I'll wait till a later post.
 
  • #17
pi-r8 said:
Well, maybe I'm too picky, but it seems like most of the people I might talk about nothing except how drunk they were last night, or where they can find a party to go get drunk at tonight. The people I do get along with are the people who are actually different.
Yeah, drinking-oriented people are OK to avoid. There's actually lots of people who don't drink much though who could be interesting if you can mentally step outside your normal fields of interest. I meet a lot of them.
 
  • #18
I can empathize with you. I went to a Military Academy, so we only had ~20% women to begin with. In our physics department, we had *zero.*

I would suggest finding a club/hobby/intramural sport you're interested in that's got at least an even mix of women. As others have pointed out, it should be something *you're* interested in. It doesn't necessarily have to be something like tap-dancing. I've seen a lot of intramural/hobby sports teams like cycling, crew, or orienteering that had a pretty good mix of men and women.
 
  • #19
pi-r8 said:
Let me start by saying a little about myself. I'm an undergrad physics major, I like school and I work really hard at it. I'm also very introverted, and that combination means I don't have much of a social life. I have a lot of acquantances, but very few close friends, all of them male. I've never had a serious girlfriend.

So I'm getting really frustrated with the "dating scene". I go to parties and bars, but that's really not my thing- I usually just end up standing around by myself being bored. I've tried to meet girls through my classes, but of course since those are mostly physics and math classes, they end up being 3/4 male, and I have nothing to talk about with the few girls in them except the class itself anyway. Tonight I tried going to a coffeeshop, but all the women there were with men who were obviously their boyfriend.

What the heck am I supposed to do? Is there some secret location where intelligent women go to meet guys that I don't know about?

Perhaps joinning the student government? joinning the school chess or math club? there are plenty
 
  • #20
Ok so I was in a really bad mood last night when I wrote those posts. Normally I'm actually a pretty cheerful guy, and I'll try to be friendlier. That being said, I don't think the math club is the best place to start looking for girls:rolleyes: .
 
  • #21
there's actually more girls in our math club than guys. most of them are pretty too.
 
  • #22
Gale said:
there's actually more girls in our math club than guys. most of them are pretty too.

Just like my calc class has 8 girls and 6 guys... However, my physics class has 9 guys and no girls... There were five girls at the beginning, but they all dropped :eek:
 

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