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I'm 18 and haven't had a GF yet

  1. Jul 6, 2011 #1
    Another pitiful thread, but I'll go ahead and mention this.

    I'm 18, turning 19 soon...and I have been single so far! To be honest, I've never been in any particular rush to have a girlfriend.

    I'm somewhat of a spontaneous person, waiting for love to simply happen. I don't go and pursue it, although it seems I may have to now...

    Am I doomed?
  2. jcsd
  3. Jul 6, 2011 #2
    How are you supposed to get a gf if you don't pursue it?:confused:
  4. Jul 6, 2011 #3
    I didn't have a gf until after I turned 20
  5. Jul 6, 2011 #4

    Char. Limit

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    Uhh... sorry to say this, but 18 and no GF? So? Just because you didn't get involved in that teenage love thing doesn't imply anything negative about you at all, you know. I mean, I know lots of GREAT people who are older than you and have never been in a relationship.
  6. Jul 6, 2011 #5
    I'm 19 and I have the same situation as you. No you are not doomed. If you found love then pursue it; nothing bad will happen. You should be fine. :)
  7. Jul 6, 2011 #6


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    I was in the same boat as you, waited until I was 20. Waiting that long does have a down side though, see a picture of me at 19:

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2017
  8. Jul 6, 2011 #7


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    I first kissed a girl when I was 18. Now I'm 24, kissed 3 girls in my life and have had 1 girlfriend (my current).
  9. Jul 6, 2011 #8


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    Doomed? More like lucky. Relationships at that age NEVER last and they're usually full of childish nonsense because the people really have no idea what relationships are meant to be.

    And if you're stupid enough (not to say you are) to fall into the thinking that people are trying to find their "soulmate" at that age, then all I can say is lololololololololol. I don't know a SINGLE person who is still with the person they were with in high school. I know one girl who was with her boyfriend for years and they stayed together through college, but they ended up breaking up.

    The funny thing is that high school is an incredibly unstable situation. Once everyone graduates, people start jetting off to places around the country which is hell for any established relationship. Plus people start actually developing real goals and belief systems and personalities that could be in huge conflict with other peoples lives.
  10. Jul 6, 2011 #9

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2017
  11. Jul 6, 2011 #10
    If you had a relationship right now, it would be kind of fun but mostly painful and after a while annoying.

    You're better off using the time to do something productive that will pay off for the rest of your life. If you start an exercise regimen, start a business, start studying something new, start meditating, start investing... all of these will make you more attractive when it makes sense to care (in your 20s).

    I wasted a lot of time worrying about such things and now, in my mid-20s, it doesn't matter that I did, and it didn't provide any lasting satisfaction. If I'd done something worthwhile instead, I'd be more satisfied now. (I'm pretty satisfied, though).

    Personally, I'd start working out.
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2011
  12. Jul 6, 2011 #11
    keep it that way, you'll save a load of money :D
  13. Jul 6, 2011 #12
    You should pursue it, but don't worry too much about it, it's not a big deal. I'm 19 too and I've only had 1 girlfriend, for like 3 days :rofl:
  14. Jul 6, 2011 #13
    Look to make female friends. It's impossible to be just friends but the illusion takes the expectations and pressure way down.

    If there's someone who likes you you'll find out. If not, everyone saves face because you're just friends.
  15. Jul 6, 2011 #14
    Doesn't one risk to lose the spark/opportunity if one waits too long and goes deeper into the friendship phase?

    I mean, you can't precisely expect when the "love fire" will burn out. As you become friends for a period of more then a few days, to weeks, to even a few months, I wouldn't surprise if the girl has already find a new interest...

    Or maybe I just have a juvenile perception of love...:rolleyes:
  16. Jul 6, 2011 #15
    A couple of good female friends can lead to a lot of opportunities.

    Keep your eye out, but dont search. Be ready to jump on an opportunity if you see one.
  17. Jul 6, 2011 #16


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    Nonsense. Guys and girls can be friends, the guy just has to not be an idiot and have some sense of maturity.

    Yes, it's juvenile. That's not love, its an infatuation. "Love at first sight" usually means the people have no standards or got lucky. Really loving someone in any meaningful and lost-lasting way requires you to love a lot about the person which inevitably means knowing a lot about them which means having known them for a while.
  18. Jul 7, 2011 #17
    Biggest advice I can give is to not worry about it. Things will happen when they happen.

    Also, if you DO meet a girl that seems cool. DO NOT FLIRT. Do not treat her any differently. Just treat her like a person. Talk to her like you would anyone else.

    Women are just like you, there's only two real differences between men and women. Physical, and social pressures. Men and women want the same things really. Food, shelter, a good job, respect, friends, love, sex, etc.


    Overall though, don't worry about it and for the love of god don't try to flirt/pick up chicks/spit game/whatever. It's just awkward. A girl will let you know if she's interested.

    Remember a relationship is 50/50. And even though it's typical for the guy to ask the girl out, if the girl isn't putting out effort, it's not worth it.
  19. Jul 8, 2011 #18
    I met my hubby when he was 19 and I was 21, and he was not a lady's man by any means. What drew me to him was his kindness and intelligence. Try online dating if you're shy.
  20. Jul 8, 2011 #19


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    :biggrin: subtle. Right-handed are ya?
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2017
  21. Jul 9, 2011 #20
    Now now, just because we are scientists doesn't mean we don't know nothing about relationships. I am sure people have something to say to the OP (and some people have already given their advice). I don't see anything bad asking for relationship advice here.
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