- #1
powerflow
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Hello,
in the last couple of days, thoughts about relationships and dating (currently, I am absolutely unactive in these fields) have bothered me a little. I recently opened a thread about relationships here (https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=2574663), but I also have a different question, a question about the importance of dating.
I am an undergrad Physics student (not too long till I will have reached the B.Sc. degree) and I will soon turn 23. I do not go out very much and I haven't dated anybody for 2 years now. I spend a lot of time with my studies, and I have two hobbies to fill my time when the lecture period is over. Although, of course, sometimes I feel rushed by the feeling of loneliness and the wish to a date, I am generally actually quite happy to spend my evenings with either studies or hobbies. One of my hobbies is drawing / painting, and I specialize on the human form, esp. the female form. Now one might jump to the conclusion that nothing is more nerdy than drawing instead of dating women. Nevertheless, my results are remarkable. I may lack a special talent for Physics (I have to study a LOT to get my A's), but I believe that it might be true that I really have some kind of talent to render female beauty. I know it sounds strange, but I progressed a lot with my anatomy drawing in a rather short time (1.5 years since I have been drawing regularly/seriously). Anyway, it's a whole lot one can do in figurative drawing, it's an exciting field and very unlike science, and when I am not studying or dealing with my other occupations this fills my day.
So my question is: Do I have to worry about NOT dating? It seems to me that many people at University have relationships, some are apparently even lasting relationships. My plan is that after I get my M.Sc. degree within several years I will a) move away from my parents and b) will know whether I am a talented artist or whether my results were just good luck or good will to see something there isn't. I think at this point I would be more independent, less insecure (I'll know I have a M.Sc. and I will have some better understanding of who I am), and then I would perhaps be able to face women, talk to them, date. Right now, I feel insecure and I would rather spend more time on studies/hobbies and push these as far as I can. Of course, if it happens that I run into a wonderful girl, I certainly would not run away from her. But that hasn't happened to me in the last 2 years.
Does that sound acceptable or just cowardly or idiotic? Would I be doing something wrong or even harmful to myself if I don't date or go out etc. right now? Honestly, I don't care much about being not independent because I live with my parents (I feel I'll have more than enough time to get 'independent' in the future) and I don't care much about common friendships with males/fellows students (I experience them to be highly superficial and rarely want to change that). It's just that I am worried about how I behave with, how I deal with women. Because as a matter of fact right now, I don't really approach them, I am passive, just studying, drawing, developing intellectual skills. I am worried about missing something, missing the opportuinity to learn 'human interaction' (with women), but then again, I am not worried because I can do that later and it appears I have very important things to do first (study Physics and find out how far I can go with art). Personally, even though it appears I behave as one, I do not consider myself as a nerd. I do sit in front of my computer all the time, yes, and I don't go out much and don't talk to people very much. But on the other hand, I am not an all maths/physics kind person, I have other thoughts about the world too, and I try to express myself in art and try to create expression in human faces and poise. And the girl I was with 2 years ago thought I was the most romantic person in the world (and I believe there is at least some truth to that). And I know a lot of people in the Physics department (ours is not that huge), and there's no woman among them with whom I am romantically attatched (those I find interesting apparently don't find me interesting etc.). Still, I would adore (really adore) if my girlfriend would be a scientist too, and I can't imagine myself sitting in bars and talking to some women, I simply don't like the idea of that.
Anyway, what I'm saying is I don't really know whether I behave the right way concerning women/dating (or rather not dating), and I wanted your view on that. Is my status quo OK over bad?
in the last couple of days, thoughts about relationships and dating (currently, I am absolutely unactive in these fields) have bothered me a little. I recently opened a thread about relationships here (https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=2574663), but I also have a different question, a question about the importance of dating.
I am an undergrad Physics student (not too long till I will have reached the B.Sc. degree) and I will soon turn 23. I do not go out very much and I haven't dated anybody for 2 years now. I spend a lot of time with my studies, and I have two hobbies to fill my time when the lecture period is over. Although, of course, sometimes I feel rushed by the feeling of loneliness and the wish to a date, I am generally actually quite happy to spend my evenings with either studies or hobbies. One of my hobbies is drawing / painting, and I specialize on the human form, esp. the female form. Now one might jump to the conclusion that nothing is more nerdy than drawing instead of dating women. Nevertheless, my results are remarkable. I may lack a special talent for Physics (I have to study a LOT to get my A's), but I believe that it might be true that I really have some kind of talent to render female beauty. I know it sounds strange, but I progressed a lot with my anatomy drawing in a rather short time (1.5 years since I have been drawing regularly/seriously). Anyway, it's a whole lot one can do in figurative drawing, it's an exciting field and very unlike science, and when I am not studying or dealing with my other occupations this fills my day.
So my question is: Do I have to worry about NOT dating? It seems to me that many people at University have relationships, some are apparently even lasting relationships. My plan is that after I get my M.Sc. degree within several years I will a) move away from my parents and b) will know whether I am a talented artist or whether my results were just good luck or good will to see something there isn't. I think at this point I would be more independent, less insecure (I'll know I have a M.Sc. and I will have some better understanding of who I am), and then I would perhaps be able to face women, talk to them, date. Right now, I feel insecure and I would rather spend more time on studies/hobbies and push these as far as I can. Of course, if it happens that I run into a wonderful girl, I certainly would not run away from her. But that hasn't happened to me in the last 2 years.
Does that sound acceptable or just cowardly or idiotic? Would I be doing something wrong or even harmful to myself if I don't date or go out etc. right now? Honestly, I don't care much about being not independent because I live with my parents (I feel I'll have more than enough time to get 'independent' in the future) and I don't care much about common friendships with males/fellows students (I experience them to be highly superficial and rarely want to change that). It's just that I am worried about how I behave with, how I deal with women. Because as a matter of fact right now, I don't really approach them, I am passive, just studying, drawing, developing intellectual skills. I am worried about missing something, missing the opportuinity to learn 'human interaction' (with women), but then again, I am not worried because I can do that later and it appears I have very important things to do first (study Physics and find out how far I can go with art). Personally, even though it appears I behave as one, I do not consider myself as a nerd. I do sit in front of my computer all the time, yes, and I don't go out much and don't talk to people very much. But on the other hand, I am not an all maths/physics kind person, I have other thoughts about the world too, and I try to express myself in art and try to create expression in human faces and poise. And the girl I was with 2 years ago thought I was the most romantic person in the world (and I believe there is at least some truth to that). And I know a lot of people in the Physics department (ours is not that huge), and there's no woman among them with whom I am romantically attatched (those I find interesting apparently don't find me interesting etc.). Still, I would adore (really adore) if my girlfriend would be a scientist too, and I can't imagine myself sitting in bars and talking to some women, I simply don't like the idea of that.
Anyway, what I'm saying is I don't really know whether I behave the right way concerning women/dating (or rather not dating), and I wanted your view on that. Is my status quo OK over bad?
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