Newspeak
A few of them are lame but there are some good ones:
http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
lindaadams said:One atom walks up to another atom and says
"Dude I think I lost an electron"
the other atom replies
"Are you sure?"
he says
"Yes, I am positive"
Crazy Tosser said:Best.joke.ever. Can't stop laughing LOL
According to wiki, epsilon is defined as "...an arbitrarily (or nearly so) small positive quantity..."mbrmbrg said:... will somebody PLEASE tell me why negative epsilon is funny?
tchitt said:Haha. I love the jokes the robot butler in Fallout 3 tells.
Atoms have mass? I wasn't even aware they were Catholic.
nrqed said:Can someone help me out. I am sure I have heard that joke in a movie but I can't put my finger on it. It is driving me crazy. I don't think it was a comedy. It is driving me crazy!
Or -evil?Monitor16807 said:Girl = Time x Money
And we all know time is money.
Time = Money
Therefore.
Girl = Money x Money = Money^2
And because money is the root of all evil.
Money = SQRT Evil
Therefore.
Girl = SQRT Evil^2
We are forced to conclude that.
Girl = Evil.
EvilPoet said:For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room. So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
Source: The Dark Sucker Theory page[/QUOTE
one question. Is all this stuff on dark suckers or just a joke. just confused?
Vals509 said:Wanted
$10,000 reward.
Schroedinger's Cat.
Dead or Alive
Achtung said:oh this is just disgusting. stop picking this joke apart. it was hilarious. if u don't get it then atleast don't spoil(hijack? this is not a joke discussion thread) this thread for the rest of us.
Where the hell is ur sense of humor?(rehtorical let's not discuss that either)
rolerbe said:"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. You don't learn much, and the frog dies." -- Mark Twain
BobG said:I have to disagree with this. When I was a kid, the neighbor girl and I dissected a toad. It was the first time I saw a beating heart and working lungs. It was also the first time I realized just how long intestines are (the toad escaped the dissection and started hopping down the street). I felt I learned quite a bit. The toad did eventually die. The neighbor girl's big brother came out and chewed us out, then shot the toad several times with his BB gun until it finally died.
Analyzing comments about analyzing humor is even more fun than analyzing humor.
DaveC426913 said:For the record, doing it while it's still alive isn't dissecting, it's ... well ... killing. You monster.
BobG said:I just wish I hadn't moved out of that neighborhood. I would have liked to have known her when we both were older. She was obnoxious and a major troublemaker and I didn't like her very much - but she always managed to rope me into doing things I never would have tried on my own (seeing as how I was always, well almost always, a good boy). The strange things she wanted to do were always just a little too intriguing to resist once I started thinking about it.
Imparcticle said:Teacher : What's 7Q + 3Q ?
Student: 10Q
Teacher: haha. Your welcome.
In Japanese also 3 is san and level is kyu, so third level is san kyu, which is the same as they pronounce thank you.mabs239 said:3 is San in Hanyu. 3Q is famous replacement for thankyou in Chinese chats.
mabs239 said:We used to present it to our friends in the school. A funny poem which seems to be pleasant remarks until one completes reading it. Some people can not guess the meanings even then. Translated to English from my native language.
Rose you rose
Rose are rose
Rose a rose
Rose dirty rose
Rose boy rose
Has your cheese slipped off its cracker?John37 said:Ok there were some good ones there ,but this will be the worst ever
1+1 = 41
see your in shock it's so good
davee123 said:The difference between engineers and mathematicians:
An engineer was given the problem of removing two nails from a piece of wood. One of the nails had been hammered all the way in, while the other was slightly protruding.
drizzle said:haahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that's a dirty one![]()
mabs239 said:پھول میں پھول
پھول جمع پھول
پھول دار پھول
پھول ہوں پھول
Word by Word translation:
...
mabs239 said:Victim reads the middle column which translates somewhat like "I am a collector".
Danger said:Eye
Sofa
King
We
Todd
Did
drizzle said:for how long?![]()
Danger said:And the difference between me and a real engineer... I'd set the wood on fire. When it burns away, the nails won't be in it.![]()
drizzle said:are these Arabic letters? you use them to write Urdu?
I'm aware of the difference, mabs. The point here is that this is not a tongue-twister; it's merely presented as one in order to lure the victim in.mabs239 said:Toung-Twisters jokes have a separate category and there are many more like these in Urdu also.