DAC said:
if the flashes are simultaneous as in AE's thought experiment, and both observers are equidistant from the flashes, why aren't they seen as simultaneous?
By AE's thought experiment, I assume you mean the one with the lightning flashes, train, and embankment? Here are the coordinates of the events of interest for that case, in the frame in which the embankment is at rest. Coordinates are given as (x, t), and we assume that the train has length 2 in the embankment frame, the embankment observer is at x = 0 in this frame, and the train is moving in the positive x direction with velocity v in this frame. The spacetime origin (0, 0) is assumed to be the event at which the train observer and the embankment observer are momentarily co-located (i.e., passing each other).
Light flash #1 emitted from source: ( 1, 0 )
Light flash #2 emitted from source: ( -1, 0 )
Light flash #1 received by embankment observer: ( 0, 1 )
Light flash #2 received by embankment observer: ( 0, 1 )
Light flash #1 received by train observer: ( v / (1 + v), 1 / (1 + v) )
Light flash #2 received by train observer: ( v / (1 - v), 1 / (1 - v) )
Notice that, first, both light flashes are received by the embankment observer at the same event, (0, 1). Since the sources of both flashes are equidistant from that observer (they are both a distance 1 from him), he judges them to be simultaneous since he receives them at the same event.
By contrast, the train observer receives light flash #1 at one event, and light flash #2 at another, later event. (Note that it is "later" not just in the coordinate time of the embankment frame, but according to the train observer's own clock, that is, according to the invariant ordering of events along the train observer's worldline.) He judges the sources of both light flashes to be the same distance from him (a distance ##\gamma = 1 / \sqrt{1 - v^2}## according to him), so that means that he judges flash #1 to have happened before flash #2--i.e., they are not simultaneous for him.
From the coordinates above, it is easy to see why the flashes are not simultaneous for the train observer: as Einstein said, the train is moving towards the first flash and away from the second, so naturally it is going to receive the first flash before it receives the second. Since the flashes are equidistant from the train observer, that means the first flash must have happened before the second, according to the train observer.