The subject line mentions special relativity. Let us start there. In special relativity, if you ask which of two moving bodies in relative motion are time-dilated, the correct answer is "it depends". It depends on what frame of reference you choose. If you choose the frame of reference in which body A is at rest, body B's time is dilated. If you choose the frame of reference in which body B is at rest, body A is time dilated. The thing that allows both to be true is the relativity of simultaneity. In order to assess time dilation, we need to have a notion of simultaneity. In special relativity, the natural simultaneity convention is Einstein clock synchronization. Einstein clock synchonization requires one free choice: A frame of reference.
But you make it clear that you are not interested in ordinary kinematic time dilation in special relativity.
If we consider two objects that have a recession velocity due to the expansion of the universe we still need to make a choice on clock synchronization in order to determine time dilation. But the choice of synchronization convention is not quite so simple. In our universe, one can choose to use "co-moving" coordinates. This is a coordinate system in which an observer at rest sees the universe as homogenous and isotropic. In particular, such an observer will see the same cosmic microwave background radiation in all directions. In co-moving coordinates, two objects that are both at rest are not time dilated relative to one another.
In other coordinates, time dilation can, of course, be different. There are no global inertial frames of reference in general relativity. The choice of a coordinate system/frame of reference is not as simple as picking one object to treat as being at rest.