Starting a Conversation with Someone You Don't Know

[Robert Mak]

I want to meet a girl , but i don't know any of her friends. so how can i begin a conversation? just walk nearly and say "hi".
what can i do? I am like kind of shy.

 

[DeadWolfe]

Alcohol always helps me introduce myself to strange people.

 

[Evo]

Ok, there are a lot of dynamics here.

How do you know her?

Do you get to talk to her in class, etc...

I can only speak for myself, but a guy I don't know that starts up a conversation will have 100% better chance than a guy that doesn't. Know what I mean?

My first boyfiend saw me outside of a Led Zeppelin concert. I was waiting for my mother to pick me and my girlfriend up after the concert ended and we were in a plaza with about 300 people milling about. Suddenly two guys ran up the stairs and surrounded me and went into a Shakespearean play with me at the center of it. At the end, everyone applauded, he turned to me and said "you're "so and so's little sister, right?" (My older brother was well known.) He and his friend left and I was stumped.

The next night I got a phone call from him. He had left a DEFINITE impression on me.

 

[Robert Mak]

I don't know her, i can saw in the recess time with 2 friends. And she is a hot girl without guys around her.

 

[JasonRox]

The practical way is to walk up to her and talk to her. The effective way is just too complicated, but with practice you'll learn what works. So, go out there and practice!

 

[Evo]

And she is a hot girl without guys around her.

A lot of those times, those are guys she's not interested in.

There are two possibilities here

1)She is out of your league...move along.

2) You need to determine what it really is that you are attracted to in someone you've never spoken to and know nothing about. Is this just superficial attraction? What do you really know about her? What about her personality and her desires/thoughts are you attracted to that have nothing to do with her appearance?

 

[JasonRox]

Nothing wrong with superficial attraction.

We don't have all the time in the world to meet and get to know everyone, so why not go with our first criteria that we can judge instantly, which is looks and beauty.

If her character is terrible, throw her "away", and move on to the next cute one until a cute one meets your criteria.

 

[Robert Mak]

Indeed, is just a superficial attraction, i saw her quiet. wathing and studing her i can conclude that she not a typical hot crazy girl. When i saw her, she smile.

 

[intwo]

Observe a common ground, and then slip her a comment next time you're by each other. I tend to notice girl's musical tastes and then say something along the lines of, "I heard you listening to [blaaaaank] the other day, great band!"

 

[physics girl phd]

When i saw her, she smile.

She might, then have a little secret attraction to you too!

 

[RAD4921]

I wouldn't recommend alchol as a way of introduction. A lot of women are turned off by intoxication and it shows a lack of backbone. I agree with your own advice. Just go up to her and say "Hi". I once heard from women that saying Hi is the best pick up line. Most women like confidence and men who are passivly aggressive.

 

[Kalimaa23]

Indeed, is just a superficial attraction, i saw her quiet. wathing and studing her i can conclude that she not a typical hot crazy girl. When i saw her, she smile.

Firstly, grammar and spelling are your friends.

Secondly, don't keep watching her too long. That's just stalker behaviour and won't earn you many points (unless she's a real emotional basketcase, but let's not go there). There are many ways to engage in small talk, from doing something wonderfully bizare like the instance Evo described to just picking any topic of conversation lying around (shared experiences would be preferable).

Most importantly, when you do talk to her : TRY NOT TO CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT HOW SHE WILL REACT! That's a sure way to come over nervous, and then it's pretty much down hill from there..

I wouldn't recommend alchol as a way of introduction. A lot of women are turned off by intoxication

Men as well my friend.

 

[Robert Mak]

Firstly, grammar and spelling are your friends.

lol, english is my third languague, but I am improving lol.

 

[Kalimaa23]

Hey, mine too. But as long as you try to improve we shouldn't mind too much

 

[Astronuc]

Indeed, is just a superficial attraction, i saw her quiet. wathing and studing her i can conclude that she not a typical hot crazy girl. When i saw her, she smile.

So, how many interactions have there been with this girl?

If one sees this woman periodically, smiling at her is a good start.

At some point, just go up to her and introduce oneself, and perhaps invite her to join one for lunch.

 

[Kalimaa23]

That was the old days Astronuc. Now you just go up to her and ask "Hey baby, how about a good solid shag?"

 

[Moonbear]

A simple start is if you look her way, and she looks back and smiles, just wave hello or wink at her. Then she knows you were definitely looking her way (sometimes half the trouble of starting up a conversation is being sure you're not just mistaken in the other person's interest back). Depending on her personality, she may react in a number of ways. Either she'll wave back or walk over to you, or she may get a little embarrassed at the attention and blush or look down, maybe giggle a bit. ANY of those is a positive sign (if she makes a face toward a nearby friend that seems to say "Eeeeeeeeew, that creepy guy just waved at me," then don't bother ). Then you can walk up and say hello, and see if you can strike up a conversation.

 

[Astronuc]

That was the old days Astronuc.

What can I say - I'm old-fashioned.

 

[Evo]

That was the old days Astronuc. Now you just go up to her and ask "Hey baby, how about a good solid shag?"

Dimitri!

 

[Astronuc]

Dimitri!

I think the Cosmo cover got to him.

 

[Kalimaa23]

Nah, just kidding. I'm an old fashioned guy myself wondering where the chivalry in this world has gone to. Just wished I wasn't from time to time.

I think the Cosmo cover got to him.

You're right. It will be a while before I'm back on my feet. Better get a cup of tea to calm myself down...

 

[Astronuc]

Nah, just kidding. I'm an old fashioned guy myself wondering where the chivalry in this world has gone to. Just wished I wasn't from time to time.

Yah, I know. I think you had Evo worried.

You're right. It will be a while before I'm back on my feet. Better get a cup of tea to calm myself down...

and grab a copy of Scientific American or Physics Today.