PeterDonis said:
Perhaps it will help if I give an example that doesn't involve the timelike/spacelike distinction, to make it clearer why I and others are reacting so strongly to the idea that choosing the timelike direction is arbitrary.
Consider three points on the Earth's surface: the North Pole; Quito, Ecuador; and Nairobi, Kenya. Both of the cities are (to a good enough approximation for here) on the Earth's equator, and Nairobi is due East of Kenya, whereas the North Pole is due North of both.
Now consider a claim analogous to the one you (BruceW) have been making: the choice of which direction is "North" is arbitrary. I can just as easily set up coordinates in which Nairobi is due North of Quito.
Of course I can choose labels for the directions in any way I want; but all that does is change the meanings of the labels. If I pick labels for the directions such that Nairobi is due North of Quito, then what had been called the North Pole is now the West Pole, and is due West of both Quito and Nairobi. No actual geometry has changed; no actual physics has changed. I've just changed labels.
I could even make a more drastic coordinate change: I could pick coordinates such that Nairobi is due East of both Quito and the "North" Pole. But "North" in the name of the Pole now has to be in quotes because it's only North of Quito; it's not North of Nairobi in these new coordinates. Here I have not only changed labels, I've changed the orientation of the coordinate grid on the Earth (basically I've exchanged latitude and longitude).
But there is no arbitrary choice, of coordinates or anything else, I can make that will change the distance from Quito to Nairobi, or the distance between either of them and the North Pole, or the angles of the triangle formed by those three points (here "triangle" really means the figure on the Earth's surface formed by the three great circles connecting the pairs of points). There is also no arbitrary choice I can make that will change the fact that the "North Pole" (however it's labeled in my chosen coordinates) is on the Earth's axis of rotation, and Quito and Ecuador are both in a plane perpendicular to that axis. In that sense, the choice of "North" is *not* arbitrary; if by "North" I mean "the direction pointing at a place on the Earth's surface which is on its axis of rotation", then I can't arbitrarily choose which direction that is.
In the case of spacetime, what I and others have been saying is that your claim that you can arbitrarily choose the timelike direction is *not* like the claim that you can arbitrarily choose coordinates on the Earth, as above; it's like the claim that you can arbitrarily choose whether the North Pole or some other point is on the Earth's axis of rotation, or whether Quito and Nairobi, or some other points, are in the plane perpendicular to that axis. That's why we're so skeptical of your claim.