G_in_Scrubs said:
Hello there,
I am a 25 y.o. female nurse. I attended a group gathering and noticed a sincerely sweet guy who is almost 30 and an engineer. My question is, how do I ask him out/get to know him better successfully, without coming off as a social path? I doubt I will meet him again, but I can find him via the net. Also, I'm a little worried he's a little too "cool" for a quiet person such as myself. Thanks! Advice appreciated!
I was lurking around the website and stumbled across this. I don't normally care for discussions of relationships but I think you definitely need to hear what I have to say because you will only hear this from a guy, and probably only from me. Everyone else will tell you the obvious ie. confidence is attractive, what to talk to him about:
1) Girls think guys are creepy all the time. Guys will never think a girl is creepy unless a) she is at least years older than him or b) he gets to know her, very well. If a you, as a girl, approach him he will either think that you're slutty, desparate or genuine. I don't like to stereotype but most people (guys or girls) will. Since he's an engineer he's far less likely to do this, but its not impossible.
2) Most guys don't care what they talk about with girls, as long as they have their attention. This isn't usually conscious, but you will virtually always find that us guys only talk to each other like they would to you if we were drunk.
3) Whatever hormones you have us guys have it a hundred fold (usually behind much self-discipline). He won't think its strange if you check him out AS LONG AS YOU APPROACH HIM. If you ever suspect for a second that you think he's noticed you, approach him.
4) It's a well known fact that girls are much more sociable than men, and few guys know exactly how much more. Going up to him and talking is unusual for guys, but he will have no clue if you are trying to be friends (which he will likely think if you are not obvious, but if this happens, he will likely go after you eventually if you spend enough time with him), just being sociable or hitting on him. I don't know most of the time myself, and you can easily exploit this.
The only way you will come off as weird is if you start rambling about cucumber or you pull out a knife or something messed up. Good luck.
One more thing. You said he is almost 30. If he is experienced with women (few engineers are, but the fact that you are interested in him makes him an exception) all of what I've said may not apply if he already knows it. Also, what I've said is only to supplement and is secondary to what everyone else is saying. What is commonly said is done so for a reason. I just felt obliged to give some different, if less relevant advice.
