Please give me some advices on how to date a nerdy guy?

  1. I really like this average looking nerdy guy from my college but it is so hard to read his mind. With him, i have to do the "chase", i initiate phone calls( twice a week only, so i don't think that is being clingy), conservation, meeting him at the library etc. But he never seems to be interested in me, he seems too busy whenever i go see him(And plus, he never texts me first either but replies all my text though). I am above average looking, outgoing, make good grades and I don't think i have a bad personality . I have been asked out a lot but i am only attracted to him. I am a really patient person and I can wait for him as much as he becomes comfortable with me.And I am more than happy to get to know him and start off as a friend. But he doesn't even talk me when we are together. So, hanging out with him outside of the school is out of question :( .Whenever i meet him in library, he will just answers whatever i ask him and he looks uncomfortable when i am around. So, i am starting to believe that i am bothering him and about to give up on him. Sigh~~~~~~~

    P.S i don't think he is socially awkward since he seems to be very normally and friendly around other people( both male and female), even though he stays home 24/7 and never go out( i have no problem with his lifestyle at all, i like him just the way he is). So, yeah... maybe he just doesn't like me?? I don't mind doing all the work like chasing, initiating,etc. , i just want to make sure that i am not bothering him.
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2011
  2. jcsd
  3. Well, you better hope he doesn't frequent PF.
    It could be seen as clingy if he doesn't like you that much and altogether you overdo it.
    That's called being polite.
    Based on what? You? Others? Surely it's what he thinks that matters there, no one else (not even yourself).
    That doesn't sound promising.
    Well it could be that he likes you and is just shy...... but then I'd be more inclined to say he isn't interested based on everything else you say.
    As above.
    It isn't Eden_Dzeko from the other thread is it?
    It shouldn't be one sided.
  4. turbo

    turbo 7,063
    Gold Member

    Ask him in for a meal, and share a bottle of wine. This is not rocket-science.
  5. jarednjames, I am thinking about giving up on him as well. thanks for encouragement lol
  6. That's what I'm here for! :wink:

    Seriously though, it doesn't sound good.

    Regardless, I agree with turbo. Ask him out, see what he says. If he says no, you haven't lost anything.
  7. turbo

    turbo 7,063
    Gold Member

    Nerdy guys can be nice. Nerdy guys can be dull and uninteresting. Though you never know what you'll find when a Nerdy Guy opens up.
  8. turbo-1, i already tried, the problem is he refused to eat in front of me which i don't know why @_@. Last time we went to have lunch together, he was just sitting there watching me eat. lol
  9. That's just weird.

    The fact you've already been out and it's gone nowhere should tell you all you need to know.
  10. Maybe he has financial problem and can't afford a date? You know, He always brings lunch box to school and i have never seen him buy anything in the cafeteria.
  11. How old are you? I don't know many adults who would have a problem with a lunchbox and neither do I know any kids (<11) that would. Which to me says you're in your early teens.

    Anyhow, it sounds like your clutching at straws here.

    Just tell him how you feel. Ask him out on a date - not lunch in school.

    EDIT: I always had a lunch box in school, nothing financial about it. I had a phobia of the school meals.
  12. lisab

    lisab 3,188
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Maybe you could bring a box lunch and suggest eating together?

    But I have to be honest here, it doesn't look promising.
  13. I was going to suggest that, but given it already appears she might look like she's stalking him (if he's taking it that way) then it probably wouldn't go down well.
  14. Jarednjames, hahaha...... i'm no teenager hon, i'm 21 and we both are in college. lol
    lunchbox thing is just a guess :D
    here is the story, i already told you about how he just sat there and watched me eat right?Then when i'm done eating and about to leave for my class, he started eating lol. It happened two times already. BTW, that lunch thing wasn't a date, we just happened to meet at my college cafeteria during lunch hour. So, yeah...i have never asked him out yet, and i don't think i should. lol
  15. Then you're never going to get anywhere with him.

    Sorry to be blunt, but if you ain't gonna do it and he certainly won't, then it isn't going to happen.

    Sat and watched you eat? I have a picture of him sat there looking terrified at 'random' girl who just perched on his table, "what the hell is she doing?" style. Then you leave, "finally she's gone".
  16. Jarednjames, lol i'm not a random girl to him btw. We know each other and have common friends as well. Oh about common friends, i can't get help from them since they are asking me out. So yeah :D
  17. Didnt' say get help from anyone. You don't need it.

    Previous post stands.
  18. lily012, I think you may want to engage him in something he truly enjoys. Find out what he likes to do and ask him about it. Try and find out who he is. Then he might feel conflicted as to whether he likes you or not, so, I guess it's good you have patience. :] I guess, once you grow on him he'll start to feel bad when you're not around.
  19. I would just get strait to the point and ask him out. If he's interested great, if not oh well. From the sounds of it there's a good chance he may be gay anyway.
  20. I hope not :(
  21. Courtships where the man doesn't persue you are generally doomed.

    Date one of the men who is persuing you. If the man you like has one or more nuts and does like you, he'll do something to let you know.
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