What Do You Do If You Were a Rock Star?

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The discussion centers around a creative game where users pose hypothetical "What do you do if..." questions, and others respond with humorous or imaginative answers. Participants explore various scenarios, ranging from being a rock star to encountering aliens or facing absurd situations like having a pinecone stuck in their nose. The thread showcases a mix of whimsical, comedic, and surreal responses, with users often building on each other's ideas. Topics include personal dilemmas, fantastical situations, and playful interactions, reflecting a light-hearted and engaging community atmosphere. The conversation flows freely, with users frequently introducing new questions, maintaining a lively exchange throughout the thread.
  • #251
Hose 'em off.

What would you do if you couldn't find you way out of your own mind?
 
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  • #252
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What would you do if you couldn't find you way out of your own mind?
Most people would probably opt for LSD, but I'd just take a nap.

What do you do if you need instructions on how to prepare a Pop-Tart?
 
  • #253
Refer to the side of the box - there are actually instructions there.

What do you do if you are forced to go back to school in 1 and a half weeks?
 
  • #254
Originally posted by Matt
What do you do if you are forced to go back to school in 1 and a half weeks?

I would ask my parents for some lunches money.

What do you do if you suddenly wake up one day and realize that all of your previous memory was just a dream?
 
  • #255
Forgetaboutit!

What do you do if, when 'forgettingaboutit' you can do nothing but remember it?
 
  • #256
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, when 'forgettingaboutit' you can do nothing but remember it?
Obviously you take forgettingaboutit lessons.

What do you do if you fail that class?
 
  • #257
Remember that you forgot to pass.

What do you do, if a croco'dile, swims into your bedroom, while you are making Sweeeeat love[/color] to the next door neighbour's partener?
 
  • #258
Ask another question!

What do you do if no one responds to your questions?
 
  • #259
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if no one responds to your questions?

If only a 10-years-old boy talks with me and I'm his psychologist, I would begin to suspect that maybe I am dead.

What do you do if you begin to suspect that maybe you are dead?
 
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  • #260
Originally posted by nucleartear
What do you do if you begin to suspect that maybe you are dead?
Stay alert to how you smell. If
you are dead it will become ap-
parent.

What do you do if you begin to
suspect you aren't dead but smell
like you are anyway?
 
  • #261
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Stay alert to how you smell. If
you are dead it will become ap-
parent.

What do you do if you begin to
suspect you aren't dead but smell
like you are anyway?

Take a shower.

What do you do if you go to take a shower, but the water is all brown?
 
  • #262
Originally posted by Mentat
What do you do if you go to take a shower, but the water is all brown?
Look on the bright side: your
coffee will come out much richer,
and that pesky iron deficiency
will clear up.

What do you do if your pesky iron
deficiency turns out to be an
element 117 deficiency?
 
  • #263
Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do if your pesky iron deficiency turns out to be an element 117 deficiency?
Eat some neutrons so you can fission it back down to iron!

What do you if you have to eat many neutrons, to be able to fission you element 117 meal down to (stable) iron, and you don't yet know just how many it is going to take?
 
  • #264
What do you if you have to eat many neutrons, to be able to fission you element 117 meal down to (stable) iron, and you don't yet know just how many it is going to take?

Just give it all up and go fission.

What do you do if you overshoot iron and wind up at element 12?
 
  • #265
Quit your job as a welder imme-
diately.What do you do if a small boy with
a fourth of July sparkler starts
to chase you down the street?
 
  • #266
Press and hold the Shift button, jump, turn arround in the air, pull out your 9mm and waste the little bugger... Oh, wait I finished that game...

What do you do if you have a gaming addiction?
 
  • #267
Originally posted by Sonty
What do you do if you have a gaming addiction?
I bet you you don't.

What do you do if it feels like
its getting pretty close to
absolute zero outside but you
don't know how to read Kelvin
thermometer?
 
  • #268
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if it feels like
its getting pretty close to
absolute zero outside but you
don't know how to read Kelvin
thermometer?
Place a call into Mr. Rankin, he'll tell you the temps D'air.

What do you do if you can't really think up a question, so you writes up yourselves a little blub that is humorous, but in doing that yuz discovers a question that emerges like that critter in the movie alien (but from you brain) not realizing that the question that you have asked is sooooooo difficult to respond to that in the entirety of all of the time that might remain, prior to someone actually taking the same amount of time to think up an "most excellant Answer" the question lines drops out of existence, but really because the question is like this one, too difficult to figure out an answer?
 
  • #269
Go down to skid row, find the most
hallucinated, delusional drunk you
can, and ask him for suggestions.

What do you do if the proof of
Fermat's theorem comes to you in
a dream but you can't remember it
when you wake up?
 
  • #270
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if the proof of Fermat's theorem comes to you in
a dream but you can't remember it when you wake up?

Go down to skid row, find the most hallucinated, delusional drunk you
can, and ask him to remember it for you!

What do you do if you think you have an answer (or two) to Fermat's last theorem, only to find out it actually isn't??
 
  • #271
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you think you have an answer (or two) to Fermat's last theorem, only to find out it actually
isn't??

Go down to skid row and join the club. This is what drove them all
to drink.

What do you do if you wake up one
morning with binocular vision?
 
  • #272
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Go down to skid row and join the club. This is what drove them all
to drink.

What do you do if you wake up one
morning with binocular vision?

Rejoice that nothing has changed.

What do you if wake up one morning without binocular vision?
 
  • #273
Originally posted by Mentat
What do you if wake up one morning without binocular vision?
By a parrot and go to sea.

What do you do if you meant to
say telescopic vision but said
binocular instead?
 
  • #274
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
By a parrot and go to sea.

What do you do if you meant to
say telescopic vision but said
binocular instead?

You post the question as your next "what do you do".

What do you do if you wake up with telescopic vision? (sorry, couldn't help it.)
 
  • #275
Originally posted by Mentat
What do you do if you wake up with telescopic vision?
Bi a pair/2 of binoculars, so you can see in Binocular vision!

What do you do if you cannot afford the binocluars offered on e-bay?
 
  • #276
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you cannot afford the binocluars offered on e-bay?

Duct tape and old telescopes.

What do you do if you wake up
one morning with eyes on the back
of your head?
 
  • #277
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you wake up
one morning with eyes on the back
of your head?
Look Aroooound!

What do you do if you find yourself, lost, inside your own head?
 
  • #278
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you find yourself, lost, inside your own head?
There's one of those "you are
here" kiosks on every sulcus
of the brain. Piece o' cake.

What do you do if you wake up in
the morning, look in the mirror
and see that you bear a certain
resemblance to the face on mars?
 
  • #279
Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and see that you bear a certain resemblance to the face on mars?

Definetly "M-O-I-S-T-U-R-I-Z-E" then, go back to sleep!

What do you do if, when you have fallen asleep, with your moisturizer on, you awake to find that you now have the collapsed waveforms of several goldfish, swimming on your facial expression, busily chasing, and eating, grey babies?
 
  • #280
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, when you have fallen asleep, with your moisturizer on, you awake to find that you now have the collapsed waveforms of several goldfish, swimming on your facial expression, busily chasing, and eating, grey babies?
I wouldn't worry about it too
much. These things happen.

What do you do if you've been
there, but you haven't
done that?
 
  • #281
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I wouldn't worry about it too
much. These things happen.

What do you do if you've been
there, but you haven't
done that?

Just do it.

What do you do if you can't think of a more clever response to a 'what do you do if' question than spit out a sneaker slogan?
 
  • #282
Originally posted by hypnagogue
What do you do if you can't think of a more clever response to a 'what do you do if' question than spit out a sneaker slogan?
Do the math and find out if you've
got milk.

What do you do if, while doing the
math you accidently discover it
is worth it to cry over
spilt milk?
 
  • #283
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, while doing the
math you accidently discover it
is worth it to cry over
spilt milk?
Get the math checked by a second to ensure it's veracity, then accept your Nobel Prize in Mathematics!

What do you do if, when you get the 'Nobel' in Math, you discover that, on the medallion, it has had the word "Physics" rubbed out! and Math skeeeeratched into it??
 
  • #284
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, when you get the 'Nobel' in Math, you discover that, on the medallion, it has had the word "Physics" rubbed out! and Math skeeeeratched into it??

You boast to all your friends about how your legendary proof conclusively shows that all of physics is reducible to the fundamental fluid dynamics of milk and its famous 'tear entanglement,' and indeed how this 'milk' is nothing more than a mathematical abstraction describing a probability wave of pouty sadness.

What do you do if your friends try to prove you wrong by showing you a physical demonstration of the pouring of supposedly 'physical' milk?
 
  • #285
Well them they're wrong, since my proof is E = m*c^2, they wouldn't understand it anyway.

What do you do if you suddenly find out your friends turned out to be geniuses and know that you were trying to convince them with a not related to the subject formula?
 
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  • #286
Originally posted by Astrophysics
What do you do if you suddenly find out your friends turned out to be geniuses and know that you were trying to convince with a not related to the subject formula?

You run man, you run, no sentimental good-byes, no time for packing your stuff, you just run out the door in the jackknife flashbang instant and don't even take the time to slam it behind you and just keep going, don't look back, never look back, if your socks don't match then you just stop looking, it don't matter anyhow-- just get out man, just get the hell out of there.

What do you do if you're running like the wind and you can't stop, oh God don't stop now they'll find you, and your shoelaces come untied?
 
  • #287
Trip over and fall down, when I step on my shoelaces and try to run.
Maybe then my friends will feel sorry for me, because I can't tie my shoelaces correctly like a 5 year old.

What do you do if you turned out to be a 5 year old, while all the time u thought you were past that age.
 
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  • #288
Originally posted by Astrophysics
Trip over and fall down, when I step on my shoelaces and try to run.
Maybe then my friends will feel sorry for me, because I can't tie my shoelaces correctly like a 5 year old.

What do you do if you turned out to be a 5 year old, while all the time u thought you were past that age.

Having already received an education, you fingerpaint and play video games for the next 15 years while being financially supported by your parents-- who expects a 5 year old to work anyway?

What do you do if you're actually 25 years old but still all you do is fingerpaint and play video games while being financially supported by your parents?
 
  • #289
Originally posted by hypnagogue
Having already received an education, you fingerpaint and play video games for the next 15 years while being financially supported by your parents-- who expects a 5 year old to work anyway?

What do you do if you're actually 25 years old but still all you do is fingerpaint and play video games while being financially supported by your parents?


You call yourself lucky and lazy...what a great life .

What do you do if your parents told you it was time to get a life?
 
  • #290
Go to the librry and get them the magazine. (only if this happened back when LIFE was still publishing).

What do you do if you went and got a life, and it sucks?
 
  • #291
Originally posted by selfAdjoint
What do you do if you went and got a life, and it sucks?
You become a Vacuum cleaner salesperson who makes the BIG[/size] money by selling the best Sucker in the World, to the biggest sucker in the World, that, and that Bridge in New York!

What do you do if, you buy a bridge, in New York, and you find out that it's just a little bit[/size] to BIG[/size] for the Back Seat of your Pinto?
 
  • #292
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, you buy a bridge, in New York, and you find out that it's just a little bit[/size] to BIG[/size] for the Back Seat of your Pinto?

You sell your Pinto and buy an SUV. Nothing's too big for the back seat of an SUV!

What do you do if you're driving on the freeway and your SUV spontaneously tumbles over and your prized bridge breaks in half?
 
  • #293
Originally posted by hypnagogue
What do you do if you're driving on the freeway and your SUV spontaneously tumbles over and your prized bridge breaks in half?
Reconfigure the bridge as an
enormous trebouche' and charge
people to fling them to the
location of their choice.

What do you do if your foot gets
caught in the sling of your treb-
ouche' and while you're flying
over Manhatten you are suddenly
aware of a military jet on your
port side whose pilot is signaling
that you should follow him back
to his base or he'll blast you
to pieces?
 
  • #294
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if your foot gets
caught in the sling of your treb-
ouche' and while you're flying
over Manhatten you are suddenly
aware of a military jet on your
port side whose pilot is signaling
that you should follow him back
to his base or he'll blast you
to pieces?

Whip out your pocket physics book and politely explain to the pilot with recourse to simple diagrams that the laws of physics strictly dictate the trajectory of your flight, so you can't comply. Failing that, toss out your Foo Fighters CD like a frisbee and hope it makes the pilot curious or frightened (works especially well if the pilot is a cat or government agent).

What do you do if in your spare time you calculate your landing point and figure out that you're going to wind up in the Bermuda Triangle?
 
  • #295
Originally posted by hypnagogue
What do you do if in your spare time you calculate your landing point and figure out that you're going to wind up in the Bermuda Triangle?
This would be an excellent time to
recall that you have a good sized
chunk of element 126, Zoobinium,
in your pocket, which is the one
thing preventing you from using
your superpowers, and to discard
it.What do you do if, after making a
safe landing in Baltimore, Mary-
land, you realize your left shoe
is still back in the sling of your
trebouche'?
 
  • #296
Originally asked by Zoobyshoe
What do you do if, after making a safe landing in Baltimore, Maryland, you realize your left shoe is still back in the sling of your trebouche'?
Start Hopping!

What do you do if, on your way hopping back to NYC, to retrive your lost left shoe, you wear out the right one?
 
  • #297
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, on your way hopping back to NYC, to retrive your lost left shoe, you wear out the right one?

You lift your other foot and just levitate all the way back.

What do you do if you're levitating above the East River when all of a sudden you realize that it's impossible to levitate?
 
  • #298
Originally posted by hypnagogue
What do you do if you're levitating above the East River when all of a sudden you realize that it's impossible to levitate?
From the rumors that I've heard, you simply start walking.

What do you do if you cannot figure out how far it is from Queens, to back to Queens?
 
  • #299
Simply use my super-hyper-modern navigation system that I always carry with me in my pocket.

What do you do if your super-hyper-modern navigation system turnes out to have AI and starts giving you false information just because it likes to tease you?
 
  • #300
Originally posted by Astrophysics
What do you do if your super-hyper-modern navigation system turnes out to have AI and starts giving you false information just because it likes to tease you?
Get out your soldering gun and
your little baggies of spare
components and reconfigure it
into a laptop. Pawn the laptop,
buy bread and feed it to the ducks
in the pond at the park. Catch a
duck, take it to Chinatown, sell
it to a restaurant. Take the
Chinese money to the bank and
exchange it for Ruples. Go to a
Russian bookstore, buy a Russian
copy of Dr. Zhivago, sign the
name Boris Pasternak inside
in cyrilic script. Take it to the
Smithsonian and pass it off on
them as authentic. Then call it a
day.

What do you do if you're buying
a bag of pistachios and you are
shocked to see your own face
plastered on the cover of all
the tabloids around the register?
 

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