The best thing is to read some texts on angular momentum, I think, but I'll give it a try here. Although, don't take all my words for granted since I can only present my point of view from elementary/half-advanced courses.
One of the many peculiar things that QM brings is that some quantities are quantisized, as you probably are aware of. This comes from saying that we can describe a system by a PDE which with boundary conditions gives integers and half-integers, called quantum numbers. These numbers quantisize angular momentum and energy.
Now, spin is a type of angular momentum. Picture this as a vector with three components. One can also see that aside from the fact that spin has to be quantisized, also one of the components need to be so. The convention is to take the z-direction. So we have to quantum numbers, let's call them s and m. (sometimes, one calls the m that is connected to spin for m_s, since we have a "m" for any type of angular momentum. for instance, orbital angular momentum is called l and this m can be called m_l)
Now, the condition on m is that it can only take on the values -s,-s+1, ... , s-1, s. All this comes from the PDE that we solve, from the Schrödinger W.E.
Thus, to describe an electron (let's omit orbital ang. mom) we need to consider both spin and m, the z-direction of the spin.
Try to accept that these quantities describes the electron and it might be helpful in the future.
Now, for an electron the spin turns out to be 1/2. From the condition on the z-component of the spin, m, we see that m takes the values -1/2 and +1/2. You can picture this as the z-component of the spinvector pointing up and down.
If you have two electrons in a system, the total spin is computed much like the "m"-value. It goes from -|1/2 - 1/2|, integer steps, 1/2 + 1/2, which in this case is trivially 0 and 1.
Now, the combined m satisfies these two conditions:
1) it is the sum of m of the first particle and m of the second
2) it goes from -(total S) up to (total S) in integer steps. (just as for the ind. electrons)
from here you know the story, S=0 only has m=0 , one state so it is called singlet state. S=1 has got three different m, so it's the triplet state.
I think that you also grasp the idea of |+ -> and |- +>, Just as these are different from one another, so is |+ - > + | - +> and |+ - > - | - +>. in both cases, the first and second electron is pointing both "up" and "down" but the composition is different, right? This makes a measurable difference. This is why it might be helpful to think of the mathematics, think of the two vectors (1,0) and (0,1). Surely you see the difference of (1,0) + (0,1) and (1,0) - (0,1) ? The first is (1,1) and the second (1,-1), completely different things. think of this as plausible in QM and why the two cases are different.
Now, how to actually find that for S=1 it is |+ - > + | - +> and S= 0 |+ - > - | - +> is another story. I mean, it could have been the other way around? Or why not just |+ -> for S=1 and |- +> for S=0?
One way to show this is using ladder operators, but for the moment maybe you can just accept it? =P
It got terribly long but I still hope that some of your questions are answered.