Is dating the key to rekindling the spark in a marriage?

[timejim]

Where did my "wife" go?

I mean, the one I married years ago. People change as they get older, I guess. I wish, in some respects, she was like she was, say, 25 years ago. Of course, she probably sometimes thinks the same about me. We are great together, but I miss the "spark". Maybe the battery and coil that used to produce the "spark" has gotten to weak to fire. Oh well.

What am I, your answer to good gossip?

 

[Artman]

Originally posted by timejim

What am I, your answer to good gossip?

There may be some good gossip if someone here at PF knows where your wife is.

 

[Njorl]

I know what you mean about the spark. Kids wear down your energy, and eat up your time. Even without the kids, there'd be less of both. I wonder how much of the fun we have when we're young is from hormones, and how much of it is from the fact that we have nothing else to do? Now, "fun" requires a lot of planning.

Truth be told though, I like my wife now even more than when I married her.

Njorl

 

[jimmy p]

I FINISHED WITH MY GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE THE SPARK HAD GONE! OH MY GOD I AM PREMATURELY OLD!

 

[Phobos]

Originally posted by timejim
We are great together, but I miss the "spark".

Yeah, but single life sucks too.

Have you tried breaking out of routines to renew the spark?

 

[Evo]

It's like an old car battery that can no longer hold a charge.

The spark you feel at the beginning of a relationship does go away, and is "hopefully" replaced with more of a level of "comfort", "acceptance" and companionship".

Even though the spark is gone, hopefully you have enough in common that you can still share fun experiences together and the other person isn't a constant nag. This is the point where a relationship either grows stronger (albeit sparkless) or falls apart.

Love Poem by Richard Brautigan

It's so nice to wake up in the morning
all alone
and not have to tell somebody
you love them
when you don't love them
any more

Some people think it's cold hearted, some think it's the best advice they ever heard. Personally I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship. Which is why I chose to be alone, and I am MUCH happier than when I was with the "wrong" person.

 

[jimmy p]

i agree with you Evo, which is why i am single...however i don't want to be!

 

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by timejim
I mean, the one I married years ago. People change as they get older, I guess. I wish, in some respects, she was like she was, say, 25 years ago. Of course, she probably sometimes thinks the same about me. We are great together, but I miss the "spark". Maybe the battery and coil that used to produce the "spark" has gotten to weak to fire. Oh well.

What am I, your answer to good gossip?

You should start and continue dating your wife again. Go out at least once a week.