All this collapsing leads to confusion, and one touches here the heart of the measurement problem. When does a wavefunction physically collapse ?
Answer: there is not the slightest hint of a physical collapse of the wavefunction in specific *processes*. So one cannot say that "upon reflection, the wavefunction collapses", because that would for instance mean, that we cannot describe reflection quantum-mechanically. You cannot say that upon absorption/re-emission, collapse occurs, or a non-unitary process occurs, because that would mean that we have no quantum-mechanical means to describe absorption and re-emission!
So when can you safely collapse your wavefunction ? WHEN INFORMATION IS IRREVERSIBLY RECORDED ABOUT THE EVENT SOMEWHERE.
This "somewhere" can be the environment, or a tape, or whatever ; and the important point is that you have to consider this as *irreversible* (so that, with sufficient effort, you might track it long after the experiment is over).
That said, you might also sometimes obtain results with collapsed wavefunctions even though you "shouldn't". In this case, this simply means that for a good or a bad reason, the way you look at the setup is too coarse-grained to observe any potential interference effect (which might be there!). As such, the "collapsed wavefunction" is nothing but a calculational approximation, which might nevertheless be very good.
As a reflection of a photon on a heavy mirror *doesn't leave any trace*, you cannot say that it "collapses the wavefunction". In fact, a mirror typically keeps coherence intact, so it is a very bad idea to collapse the wavefunction upon (coherent) reflection.
On the other hand, absorption and re-emission usually (but not always!) can be considered "incoherent". Most of the time, the phase relation gets too involved to be measurable and you can just as well collapse your wavefunction, as most of the time, you will not be able to distill the interference effects.
But a famous counter-example to this is the laser! In a laser, there is *coherent* emission, after there was absorption. So you see that the trick of "absorption and re-emission collapse the wavefunction" doesn't always work.
Again, you can only safely collapse your wavefunction upon the *irreversible* registration of a certain event in one way or another. In *that* case, you will not make any error. In all other cases, you're making an approximation (neglecting potential interference terms), which might, or might not be justified.
EDIT: why is this so ?
Well, given that the information is irreversibly recorded in the environment, or in the apparatus, or on a tape, you can in fact consider that whatever you are going to do/measure next, you will measure it in CORRELATION with this (wanted or unwanted) outcome. You will not be able to UNDO this result, and consider interferences between its result and its opposite. If the result is irreversibly recorded, whether you look at it or not, you cannot do any interference experiment anymore concerning this result. As such, you can replace the superposition in the wavefunction by a statistical mixture.
This is nothing else but the mechanism of decoherence.
EDIT2: Example of when you can collapse a photon wavefunction upon reflection on a mirror: consider a *very light* mirror which is freely floating. Upon photon reflection, the mirror is set into motion, a motion which you can detect later on (by letting it float, say, for an hour and measure the displacement). If part of the photon wavefunction was reflecting upon this mirror, then you can safely project this, and you will not find any interference pattern with the rest of its wavefunction. So in this case, "reflection on a mirror collapses the wavefunction", simply because it left some trace in the environment (motion of the mirror).
However, if you now fix this mirror to a table, and you do this again, you cannot collapse the wavefunction anymore. You can make the light reflecting on this fixed mirror interfere with the rest of its wavefunction. So here, "reflexion on a fixed mirror doesn't collapse the wavefunction".