Schools About to take out my first loan for college

[Winzer]

Ok so I about to take out my first loan for college- a big one.
But I figure that I am in engineering I will be making quite a bit of money and won't have to worry about it.
What are your experiences with loans? Advice?

 

[Cyrus]

how much is the loan?

 

[Winzer]

maybe 15000-18000

 

[Cyrus]

Thats not a lot of money. Is that for one year, or all 4 years?

 

[Winzer]

Thats not a lot of money. Is that for one year, or all 4 years?

In your opinion cyrusabdollahi what would be a lot of money to take each year?

 

[Cyrus]

If you are living on campus at an in-state university, 15-18 is about right.

I pay $9k a year because I live at home and go to in-state school.

 

[Beeza]

I take roughly 12k per year, but that's only for tuition as I pay living expenses out of my pocket.

 

[JasonRox]

If you are living on campus at an in-state university, 15-18 is about right.

I pay $9k a year because I live at home and go to in-state school.

I thought you said your parents pay for school.

 

[JasonRox]

I take roughly 12k per year, but that's only for tuition as I pay living expenses out of my pocket.

Yeah, that's what I recommend people to do unless living expenses are sky high. I'd atleast try to pay half of it.

My tuition is $5000 a year, but I'm going to be debt free when I graduate. I'll probably have money in the bank or atleast that's what I'm planning.

 

[InbredDummy]

Ok so I about to take out my first loan for college- a big one.
But I figure that I am in engineering I will be making quite a bit of money and won't have to worry about it.
What are your experiences with loans? Advice?

here is my advice:

your first year, take out whatever loan you need, you have no choice at this point. work your butt off the first year and then apply to as many scholarships as possible. my first year i took out the max stafford loan (I go to state school and am low income, so i got 85% of my tuition paid off already). then i applied and got 3 scholarships and an undergrad fellowship that i am applying for right now and will most likely get over my soph and junior and into senior year. i haven't paid for anything except books, in fact my school has been paying me roughly $1500 a semester to attend because i got so much financial aid and scholarships.

bottom line is, first year, the cost and loan is usually unavoidable. but you need to be saavy and understand every oppurtunity that is available to you.

PS: Especially in engineering, there are a lot of scholarships, specifically school wide.

good luck and don't stress out too much about loans. the average student graduates with like $30 in debt. i will be graduatingwith like $5000 in debt.

 

[Cyrus]

I would listen to InbredDummy. Also, if your tution includes living on campus, you can consider living at home to save yourself 5-6k a year in living expenses. Taking your high value, in the end you will have roughly $72k in debt. If you get good grades and get scholarships, you can knock this value down a lot. A LOT. Even if you pay the full $72k, provided your grades are good and you don't mind living at home one year after you graduate, you can easily knock off about $50k in one year if you spend all your money paying off your loan. You will have to live at home for a year, but you will be almost debt free afterwards.

 

[JasonRox]

you can easily knock off about $50k in one year if you spend all your money paying off your loan. You will have to live at home for a year, but you will be almost debt free afterwards.

Easily? Not by a long shot. Atleast be real about it.

 

[Winzer]

Well technicaly this will be my second year in college. I went to a state college my first year to save a bunch of money-my plan originally. I then transfered. I will be livin in the dorms this fall so I will be paying that expense. I was thinking I will give it my all this year so I can get good scholarships for the next.

 

[Cyrus]

Easily? Not by a long shot. Atleast be real about it.

Yes, it is easy. If you can't pay off $50k in one year living at home you don't know how to manage your money. Exactly what expenses will you have living at home? Are you going to spend your entire paycheck on food? Gas and food are the only two things you will need to spend your money on. If those two alone eat your paycheck up, somethings wrong.

 

[dontdisturbmycircles]

I think that taking out a big loan and investing it in your education is the smartest thing you can do. My philosophy is that working hard during the summer is a waste of time. Work one job and study or take a summer course. I am guessing that a $60,000 loan really isn`t that big of a deal once you graduate. (As long as you graduate...)

 

[Beeza]

Yes, it is easy. If you can't pay off $50k in one year living at home you don't know how to manage your money. Exactly what expenses will you have living at home? Are you going to spend your entire paycheck on food? Gas and food are the only two things you will need to spend your money on. If those two alone eat your paycheck up, somethings wrong.

It's not always that clean cut and easy for everyone. Lots of other factors come into play.

 

[JasonRox]

Yes, it is easy. If you can't pay off $50k in one year living at home you don't know how to manage your money. Exactly what expenses will you have living at home? Are you going to spend your entire paycheck on food? Gas and food are the only two things you will need to spend your money on. If those two alone eat your paycheck up, somethings wrong.

First of all, you're assuming this person does not go out at all. Like you said, only gas and food. You're also assuming mommy and daddy pays insurance and rent, which most parents will make you pay rent after graduating.

Second, what about the damn taxes? Should be mostly tax free up to an income of like $30-40k, which they tax the income you make after that. By your numbers, you're assuming this person makes atleast $75k right after graduating. How often does that happen? Again, not often at all.

Third, you're forgetting the interest! Most places charge you interest as soon as you graduate or basically all places. Not only that, most places charge you interest even before you graduate. At a debt of $70k you assumed easily to pay off, you're interest will be atleast $450-600 a month! Try paying off debt with that kind of interest rolling around every month. Well, if mommy and daddy pays that too, then yeah it shouldn't be too bad.

 

[JasonRox]

I think that taking out a big loan and investing it in your education is the smartest thing you can do. My philosophy is that working hard during the summer is a waste of time. Work one job and study or take a summer course. I am guessing that a $60,000 loan really isn`t that big of a deal once you graduate. (As long as you graduate...)

Yes, that is a big loan. Trust me. Lots of people ignore it after graduation too. They simply just pay the payments with maybe a bit more on top of that and that's it without realizing that with those payments it will take like 15 years to pay it off. Then they're like, even after paying my loan payments, I have enough money to buy that fancy car I deserve because I worked so hard (yet you literally worked very little which is why you have that big debt) to get my degree. Then you buy the car, then rent a place, then buy furniture... and next thing you know the interest rates go up say a mere 0.25% then you're like... hmmm... I just have to be a bit frugal now and 6 months later you're on the brink to bankruptcy.

That's the plan?

 

[JasonRox]

It's not always that clean cut and easy for everyone. Lots of other factors come into play.

He's not going to have debt. His parents pay for school and such. I don't understand why he is telling us how to manage debt when he ain't going to have any.

 

[dontdisturbmycircles]

The difference is income earned during the summer is at a rate of $15/hr whereas income earned after graduation may be $30/hr so its much easier to pay off. I agree that $60,000 is pushing it(my loan will be about 1/3 of that.) but if you work hard in school you should get some of that back in the form of scholarships/bursaries right?

It all depends on how you are going to live after you graduate. If you are serious about paying off your debt it really shouldn't take you more than 2-3 years to do as long as you don't but a new car / house.. But that's obvious :)

 

[cristo]

Just out of interest really, is there no financial assistance available in the way of loans to go to university in the US? The only reason I ask, is that you're all talking about the interest on the loans, which makes me think that these are standard bank loans. Over here, the government provide student loans (in the range of £3-4k per year) which are low interest loans (i.e. the interest is capped to bank of england base rate), and one can normally obtain about £2k interest free from the banks.

When it comes to repayment when one is working, it simply gets taken out of your wages as another form of "tax."

 

[dontdisturbmycircles]

I am not 100% sure about the US but in Canada you do not pay interest until 3-6months (I forget the exact time) after you graduate or drop out.. So while you are going to school you don't pay(or accrue) interest.

It is probably similar in the US

edit: And yes they are contracted by the government... but I think the government just arranges deals with a bank for you or something, but yea you don't pay interest til you are finished.

edit again:After a short rethink, if the person does not walk out of uni making more than $60,000/yr then a $60,000 debt would be quite hard to deal with. But its only 3x what a average car costs so it can't be THAT hard with some scrimping here and there.

 

[JasonRox]

But its only 3x what a average car costs so it can't be THAT hard with some scrimping here and there.

But it is hard. I think those who have over like $35k of school debt, will have that debt for atleast for 5-10 years and the bigger the longer. Why? Lifestyles. Habits. Personality.

Remember, we live in a materialistic world where lots of people will have a hard time focusing on paying off their debt for longer than 3 months of working after graduation. Why? Because paying down debt is naturally boring when the debt is soooo huge, but it's fun when it's small because you watch it go to zero. So, what happens? Again, they buy a car and stuff just keeps going downhill from there.

Also, dontdisturbmycircles, I live in Ontario and the interest on the government loans is like 10-11% which is REALLY high. So, that's $300 a month on interest for only a $35k loan and gets higher fast if your debt is bigger. Also keep note that they start charging interest right after you graduate. They just don't require you to make a payment until 6 months after you graduate, so if you choose not to make a payment for 6 months, but your debt will now be $37k at the end of the 6 months. My girlfriend just graduated and she had to transfer her money to a bank with 7% interest right away to save 4%. It's under her mom's name, why? Anything bigger than a $10k debt, the bank will hardly want to have you unless you make lots of money and are living on your own. Banks won't like it if you still live at home because they see that as unstable because you may move out. What's the problem with moving out? Banks know moving out cost $$$, and if you don't know what you're doing it costs even more $$$. What happens there? You accumulate more debt and probably can't make payments on the school loan. Banks obviously won't like that.

Therefore, you're stuck at leaving your debt at 10-11% (which is going higher by the way and you know if you read the business section). You have an option though and that is to find a co-signor. Hmmm... looking for financial independence... ouch! Personally, I would go the co-signor route because of the massive savings allowing you to pay your debt quicker.

Anyways, it sounds easy until you pay it all back. I'm going in my senior year and I had my loan at the bank the whole time. When it first started the interest was 5.75% and it's now 7.75% because the prime rate went up. But it's all under my own name and because I had a cap on my line of credit, it forced me to keep my debt down.

Also, choose to work a lot or atleast put aside $5000 during the summer months.

 

[Beeza]

There are subsidized (or ubsubsidized I forget which term) loans available in which the government pays the interest while the student is still in school, but the amount of these loans is very limited. These loans are also based on how long a student has been in school, and income.

I began school at a community college with an education roughly equivalent to a high school freshmen (MAYBE a sophomore in non-science classes). I received about 2600$ per year in government-sponsored loans. My total tuition at community college was roughly 6000$ per year. Back then, I had money and paid the remainder out of my pocket.

2.5 years after I began community college, I'm now moving into my junior year at a university. I just got my financial aid package with a total of 10,000$ (5500 in government-sponsored loans, 1500 scholarship, 500 grant, and 2500 in work-study) in aid. Total yearly tuition is roughly 13,000. If I take the work-study (likely not as I already work 30 hours a week), I'm still looking at taking 3,000 in not-so-great interest rate loans from a bank.

This is the first year I've been bumped up to 5,500 in government loans, and also the first time I've been awarded a scholarship by the Physics Department here. My current debt is around 23,000 total. I fully expect to graduate with 45-60k in loans, which varies based on whether or not I spend an extra year for a Mathematics degree.

Also mind you I do not live on-campus and pay my own living expenses out of pocket. I budget my money in a sense that I need to make atleast 1000$ monthly to avoid being homeless, and while living and spending rather conservatively. If I make more, great I can actually go out for a change, but the minimum is 1000$.

As for living at home and paying off "large" loans, well, that option isn't always available. I've been financially independent for a long time.

The way I look at things is that even if something absolutely catastrophic happens, people can take away all of my possessions and ruin my credit, but they will never ever be able to take away my education. That is all that truly matters to me.

 

[JasonRox]

There are subsidized (or ubsubsidized I forget which term) loans available in which the government pays the interest while the student is still in school, but the amount of these loans is very limited. These loans are also based on how long a student has been in school, and income.

I began school at a community college with an education roughly equivalent to a high school freshmen (MAYBE a sophomore in non-science classes). I received about 2600$ per year in government-sponsored loans. My total tuition at community college was roughly 6000$ per year. Back then, I had money and paid the remainder out of my pocket.

2.5 years after I began community college, I'm now moving into my junior year at a university. I just got my financial aid package with a total of 10,000$ (5500 in government-sponsored loans, 1500 scholarship, 500 grant, and 2500 in work-study) in aid. Total yearly tuition is roughly 13,000. If I take the work-study (likely not as I already work 30 hours a week), I'm still looking at taking 3,000 in not-so-great interest rate loans from a bank.

This is the first year I've been bumped up to 5,500 in government loans, and also the first time I've been awarded a scholarship by the Physics Department here. My current debt is around 23,000 total. I fully expect to graduate with 45-60k in loans, which varies based on whether or not I spend an extra year for a Mathematics degree.

Also mind you I do not live on-campus and pay my own living expenses out of pocket. I budget my money in a sense that I need to make atleast 1000$ monthly to avoid being homeless, and while living and spending rather conservatively. If I make more, great I can actually go out for a change, but the minimum is 1000$.

As for living at home and paying off "large" loans, well, that option isn't always available. I've been financially independent for a long time.

The way I look at things is that even if something absolutely catastrophic happens, people can take away all of my possessions and ruin my credit, but they will never ever be able to take away my education. That is all that truly matters to me.

You're right about the fact that they can't take away education, but they also won't take your student loan either. You know that right?

This is why I want to go do my Master's part-time and not full-time. I don't want to be living on the edge for another 2-3 years and still possibly finish with debt. No thank you.

 

[Beeza]

You're right about the fact that they can't take away education, but they also won't take your student loan either. You know that right?

This is why I want to go do my Master's part-time and not full-time. I don't want to be living on the edge for another 2-3 years and still possibly finish with debt. No thank you.

It comes down to either taking the student loans, or going back to an old life on a fast-track to nowhere.

As for graduate school, I have no idea. I'll find out if I'm smart enough after this year.

 

[InbredDummy]

It comes down to either taking the student loans, or going back to an old life on a fast-track to nowhere.

As for graduate school, I have no idea. I'll find out if I'm smart enough after this year.

here is the run down for most PhD programs in Math and Physics for the United States: they usually offer 5 years of guranteed support. the support usually means they waive tuition and fees and give you health insurance in exchange you become a TA/RA or teach a Calc I class and pay you around the 15-20k range for 9 months of work. However, i don't believe NYU PhD Math gurantee support. But I am heavily researching which grad schools to go to and almost all of them gurantee support to at least 4 years. Some of them even have nice little niche benefits like you don't teach or grade in your first and fourth year, some require you don't even teach period. (yes believe me this is true, I've been looking on 30-35 different school math webpages and looking up their grad info)

Now for a masters, you usually pay out of pocket, however remember that a masters degree is a professional degree and is better compensated than a really BS/BA. an NYU Masters of Financial Mathematics will run you over 50k, which unless you're wealthy, you're going to get reamed in loans. But it's also an ELITE financial math masters degree, so I'm sure you will be well compensated, 80-90k + starting salary.

 

[Cyrus]

First of all, you're assuming this person does not go out at all. Like you said, only gas and food. You're also assuming mommy and daddy pays insurance and rent, which most parents will make you pay rent after graduating.

Second, what about the damn taxes? Should be mostly tax free up to an income of like $30-40k, which they tax the income you make after that. By your numbers, you're assuming this person makes atleast $75k right after graduating. How often does that happen? Again, not often at all.

Third, you're forgetting the interest! Most places charge you interest as soon as you graduate or basically all places. Not only that, most places charge you interest even before you graduate. At a debt of $70k you assumed easily to pay off, you're interest will be atleast $450-600 a month! Try paying off debt with that kind of interest rolling around every month. Well, if mommy and daddy pays that too, then yeah it shouldn't be too bad.

First of all, cut out that mommy and daddy crap Jason. I said if you live at home with your parents. Second, if your parents charge you rent to live at home, you have some scumbags for parents and I feel sorry for you.

If you make starting salary at $30-40K a year, you have one sh*ty job my friend. A typical engineering salary starts at around $50-60k a year.

Also, student loans are low interest, and if you get good grades and a scholarship, you won't be paying full tuition anymore.

You mean to tell me car insurance, food, gas, and "going out" costs $50k a year? Where are you going out for dinner every day, a 5-star restaurant?

Try not to be so green that some of us have families that care for their children.

 

[Cyrus]

He's not going to have debt. His parents pay for school and such. I don't understand why he is telling us how to manage debt when he ain't going to have any.

Yeah, you're right. If I get into grad school and get paid $30k a year for two years, Ill be finishing up school with a surplus of $60k. But what do I know about managing debt?

 

[JasonRox]

First of all, cut out that mommy and daddy crap Jason. I said if you live at home with your parents. Second, if your parents charge you rent to live at home, you have some scumbags for parents and I feel sorry for you.

If you make starting salary at $30-40K a year, you have one sh*ty job my friend. A typical engineering salary starts at around $50-60k a year.

Also, student loans are low interest, and if you get good grades and a scholarship, you won't be paying full tuition anymore.

You mean to tell me car insurance, food, gas, and "going out" costs $50k a year? Where are you going out for dinner every day, a 5-star restaurant?

Try not to be so green that some of us have families that care for their children.

Not all parents can afford the luxury to let their kids live rent free and food free. And you're already judging them as scumbags? Man, get real.

 

[Cyrus]

Yes, charging your kids to pay rent is wrong. Asking them to help pay the rent because they can't make ends meet is a different story.

I said if you can live at home. Everything following the if was conditional.

Now, I don't have any loans to pay off. But if someone does have loans and they get into a grad school for their masters, why can't they use THAT money ~40k to pay off their undergraduate loans?? Then they will have a small loan to deal with after school and a higher paying job b/c they have a masters.

 

[cristo]

But if someone does have loans and they get into a grad school for their masters, why can't they use THAT money ~40k to pay off their undergraduate loans?? Then they will have a small loan to deal with after school and a higher paying job b/c they have a masters.

What do you think someone will live on though, if they use their income to pay off their loans? I don't know many people who's parents will let them live at home, rent free, after their undergraduate degree. I know that my parents would kick me out, or at least charge rent, not that I would still want to live at home at this age anyway. Then there's the fact that one would be tied into going to one university, so that one can stay at home. It all doesn't seem practical to me.

 

[Cyrus]

I am middle eastern. In the middle east, you're parents don't kick you out of the house. This is a western thing I have noticed. Asians live at home, my greek friends live at home, all my ME friends live at home. None of their parents would dare dream of kicking their kids out the home. Living at home is very common among these cultures because they are centered around the family.

What kind of family values do you have to kick your kids outside your house as soon as possible or charge them rent?

If I was living at home and my parents were having trouble making ends meet, I would help them with the bills. They would not have to ask for help though, I would help them without hesitation. In most other cultures, your parents pay for your upbringing/college but you help them when they become older. My parents both send money to my grandparents each month. Similarly, I will take care of my parents.

My grandparents busted their asses for my parents, and likewise my parents busted their ass for me. What you describe seems very self centered and not much of a caring family.

Its probably very hard to go anywhere in life when your family does not do things together to better the whole.

 

[Astronuc]

What kind of family values do you have to kick your kids outside your house as soon as possible or charge them rent?

I think there is some expectation in the US that once one's children become adults, they take off on their own, i.e. leave home and become self-sufficient.

In my case, I left home at 17 and came back during brief periods during two summers to work and save money. I also helped my father re-roof the house during those times. Otherwise, I lived on my own or with room-mates.

I think that has changed in the last two decades. There are a lot of 20- and 30- somethings living at home, particularly after the internet bubble burst.

As for the OP, read the terms of the loan, look at the interest rate, and shop around. Educational loans are really unsecured. I co-signed for two loans for a foreign student so she could get lower interest rate. She didn't realize that the loans charged interest during her undergrad, so when she left school, the principal on two loans had increased about 20%. Don't take out big loans - and calculate how much must be payed back ($200/mo, $350/mo, $500/mo . . . and over what time (e.g. 10 years, 15 years, . . . after graduation). Loans can be a significant burden.

Instead of loans, I worked to pay my way through school.

 

[Beeza]

I am middle eastern. In the middle east, you're parents don't kick you out of the house. This is a western thing I have noticed. Asians live at home, my greek friends live at home, all my ME friends live at home. None of their parents would dare dream of kicking their kids out the home. Living at home is very common among these cultures because they are centered around the family.

What kind of family values do you have to kick your kids outside your house as soon as possible or charge them rent?

If I was living at home and my parents were having trouble making ends meet, I would help them with the bills. They would not have to ask for help though, I would help them without hesitation. In most other cultures, your parents pay for your upbringing/college but you help them when they become older. My parents both send money to my grandparents each month. Similarly, I will take care of my parents.

My grandparents busted their asses for my parents, and likewise my parents busted their ass for me. What you describe seems very self centered and not much of a caring family.

Its probably very hard to go anywhere in life when your family does not do things together to better the whole.

I think our differences essentially come down to different "upbringings".

I believe that I cannot really depend on anyone but myself, and when it really comes to hard times, I have to look to myself to struggle through them.

 

[ice109]

I think our differences essentially come down to different "upbringings".

I believe that I cannot really depend on anyone but myself, and when it really comes to hard times, I have to look to myself to struggle through them.

you're better off than the other dude trust me. wait till he has to deal with something severe and no can help him. i bet his sanctimonious head will explode

 

[Cyrus]

you're better off than the other dude trust me. wait till he has to deal with something severe and no can help him. i bet his sanctimonious head will explode

So now no one can help me? Where did this assumption come from, your ass? I don't spend money like it grows on trees, so I don't put myself in a "severe" situation to begin with. I saved my money for 4 years through college while working a high paying job. If you have a brain, get good grades, get a scholarship, get a good paying job/internships, get into grad school, and get out debt free. Its THAT simple.

Otherwise, stop your waaa-waaa-waaa and work at McDonalds.

 

[ranger]

you're better off than the other dude trust me. wait till he has to deal with something severe and no can help him. i bet his sanctimonious head will explode

You're words are rather harsh and is purely out of context with cyrusabdollahi's response.

 

[ice109]

You're words are rather harsh and is purely out of context with cyrusabdollahi's response.

maybe sanctimonious isn't the right word but i read the entire thread and on several occassions he's been very insulting and presumptive.

So now no one can help me? Where did this assumption come from, your ass? I don't spend money like it grows on trees, so I don't put myself in a "severe" situation to begin with. I saved my money for 4 years through college while working a high paying job. If you have a brain, get good grades, get a scholarship, get a good paying job/internships, get into grad school, and get out debt free. Its THAT simple.

Otherwise, stop your waaa-waaa-waaa and work at McDonalds.

at some point you will be unable to call for help and what are you going to do then? though you were insulting and i was likewise all i meant was that someone who has is comfortable with dealing with hardship will be better off than you in a hard situation.

don't bolster your own ego by presuming to be unique in your intelligence.your financial success is probably largely due to assistance. a lot of people are very smart and very hard working and are not able to eave college debt free because they are poor. honestly what can you say about something you haven't done.

edit

you're not special , you're lucky. if you think that's not fitting then consider the tons of people who have achieved way more than you with way less and don't presume themselves to be special.

 

[Cyrus]

at some point you will be unable to call for help and what are you going to do then? though you were insulting and i was likewise all i meant was that someone who has is comfortable with dealing with hardship will be better off than you in a hard situation.

Who said I "call for help"?? I never said anything insluting to you ice.

don't bolster your own ego by presuming to be unique in your intelligence.your financial success is probably largely due to assistance. a lot of people are very smart and very hard working and are not able to eave college debt free because they are poor. honestly what can you say about something you haven't done.

When did I ever say anything about bolstering my intellegence?

you're not special , you're lucky. if you think that's not fitting then consider the tons of people who have achieved way more than you with way less and don't presume themselves to be special.

Did I say I was special?


You need to grow up. You're response is quite pathetic. You can ignore what I told you, that's fine by me. Like InbredDummy said, I know someone on scholarship that was getting paid to attend school from scholarships. But hey, continue to ignore what I said.


Go buy a box of tissues... and give me a large order of fries.

 

[ice109]

Who said I "call for help"?? I never said anything insluting to you ice.
When did I ever say anything about bolstering my intellegence?
Did I say I was special?You need to grow up. You're response is quite pathetic. You can ignore what I told you, that's fine by me. Like InbredDummy said, I know someone on scholarship that was getting paid to attend school from scholarships. But hey, continue to ignore what I said.Go buy a box of tissues... and give me a large order of fries.

there are several examples of you being insulting, i don't need to cite them. i said bolster your ego not your intelligence. all of your posts are narcissistic. I'm not ignoring anything you've said cause all you've said is some people do this and some people do that blah blah blah and hence it should quite simple for everyone to do it. and that last comment, that was just you being friendly right.

edit

you remind me of that guy from good will hunting, "you'll be serving fries to my kids..."

 

[Cyrus]

Ok, ignore what I told you. Dont get good grades, Dont apply for a scholarship, do live in a dorm if money is an issue and you can commute instead.

that was just you being friendly right

No, that was me not liking you. Yeah, I gave you examples of "some people that do this", by "this", I said get paid to attend school. But if you want to put your fingers in your ears and ignore me, you can try sticking them up your you know what.

 

[cristo]

I am middle eastern. In the middle east, you're parents don't kick you out of the house. This is a western thing I have noticed. Asians live at home, my greek friends live at home, all my ME friends live at home. None of their parents would dare dream of kicking their kids out the home. Living at home is very common among these cultures because they are centered around the family.

What kind of family values do you have to kick your kids outside your house as soon as possible or charge them rent?

Ok... perhaps "kick out" was too strong a phrase-- obviously, as soon as you graduate, your parents aren't going to kick you out. On the other hand, if you're twenty something, and you've got yourself a job, or are in grad school, then the parents' job is pretty much done, and so it's about time to move out.

What you describe seems very self centered and not much of a caring family.

I'm not sure which part of my post you're referring to, or who's being self-centred. I can't see that the parents can be being self-centred, since, after all, they have brought you up for 18 or so years, and provided for you.

Its probably very hard to go anywhere in life when your family does not do things together to better the whole.

Now, I never said that family don't support each other-- obviously, if something happens like you lose your job, then parents will be there to move back in with for a short while until you settle yourselves (c.f astronuc's post re the "internet bubble").

 

[ice109]

Now, I never said that family don't support each other-- obviously, if something happens like you lose your job, then parents will be there to move back in with for a short while until you settle yourselves (c.f astronuc's post re the "internet bubble").

is the expectation that if such a thing happens and one's parents aren't capable of doing this then one is expected to what? die?

 

[cristo]

is the expectation that if such a thing happens and one's parents aren't capable of doing this then one is expected to what? die?

Don't be stupid. Obviously if one's parent's aren't able to help, then one would find someone else to help, i.e. friends, or other family, unless they wanted to struggle through on their own. I'm just saying that, although I support the notion of parent's "kicking out" their kids at a given age, I never said that the parents kick their kids out and then forget about them. That's just wrong!

 

[Cyrus]

Ok... perhaps "kick out" was too strong a phrase-- obviously, as soon as you graduate, your parents aren't going to kick you out. On the other hand, if you're twenty something, and you've got yourself a job, or are in grad school, then the parents' job is pretty much done, and so it's about time to move out.

I know you did not mean "kicked-out", but there are people whose parents will literally "kick out" their kids once they turn 18. Its sad.

I'm not sure which part of my post you're referring to, or who's being self-centred. I can't see that the parents can be being self-centred, since, after all, they have brought you up for 18 or so years, and provided for you.

Your parents job is not to just bring you up and toss you out. Again, this is probably a cultural difference, but many countries around the world is it quite normal to live with your parents and take care of them. These, IMO are much better cultural values than "ok, your 23 and have a job, now get out". When I have kids, they are not going to pay a dime for their education, and I won't kick them out the house once they graduate. I mean, let's be real here. Once you graduate, your not a kid anymore. You go to work, come home and eat dinner, and go out at night. Are you really at home all that often anyways? Its not like your 5 years old and your parents have to babysit you constantly.

Now, I never said that family don't support each other-- obviously, if something happens like you lose your job, then parents will be there to move back in with for a short while until you settle yourselves (c.f astronuc's post re the "internet bubble").

I know you didnt mean that.

 

[ice109]

Don't be stupid. Obviously if one's parent's aren't able to help, then one would find someone else to help, i.e. friends, or other family, unless they wanted to struggle through on their own. I'm just saying that, although I support the notion of parent's "kicking out" their kids at a given age, I never said that the parents kick their kids out and then forget about them. That's just wrong!

i think that most people are completely unprepared to do just that

 

[cristo]

I know you did not mean "kicked-out", but there are people whose parents will literally "kick out" their kids once they turn 18. Its sad.

Tell me about it-- although the people I know who were in this situation became incredibly grown up, very quickly. Then again, there are the people whose parents allow them to live at home and sponge off them, without making an attempt to get a job. This is pretty sad, also.

Your parents job is not to just bring you up and toss you out. Again, this is probably a cultural difference, but many countries around the world is it quite normal to live with your parents and take care of them. These, IMO are much better cultural values than "ok, your 23 and have a job, now get out". When I have kids, they are not going to pay a dime for their education, and I won't kick them out the house once they graduate. I mean, let's be real here. Once you graduate, your not a kid anymore. You go to work, come home and eat dinner, and go out at night. Are you really at home all that often anyways? Its not like your 5 years old and your parents have to babysit you constantly.

It's true, but then again, I don't know many parents who'd really want their "kids" kicking around the house when they've grown up and got a job. However, equally so, I don't know that many people who would want to live with their parents when they've grown up and moved out; especially if they've already experienced life away from home. I imagine, as you said though, that this is a culture difference. It is admirable the people who stay at home to look after their parents. This is not all that common with the people that I know, but it is more common of one's parents moving back in with them, when getting more elderly, or needy.

I know you didnt mean that.

Good.

 

[cristo]

i think that most people are completely unprepared to do just that

And why would you think that? I would couple "struggling through on your own" with "getting help from friends," since the latter is a consequence of your life to that point (i.e. you don't get given friends when you're born). I disagree, from my experience of people, that one couldn't get through difficulties on one's own, or with friend's help. Obviously, we must know very different people.

 

[ice109]

And why would you think that? I would couple "struggling through on your own" with "getting help from friends," since the latter is a consequence of your life to that point (i.e. you don't get given friends when you're born). I disagree, from my experience of people, that one couldn't get through difficulties on one's own, or with friend's help. Obviously, we must know very different people.

i don't understand what you said? you think having friend's is part of struggling on your own? the point of my statement is the people aren't independent.