Is Age Just a Number When It Comes to Attracting Someone?

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In summary, the conversation revolves around a young man who has developed feelings for an older woman he refers to as a "Girl Next Door". He seeks advice on how to approach her, as there are already several other men interested in her. Some suggest being a gentleman and getting to know her as a friend first, while others suggest using more aggressive tactics. The conversation ends with a humorous saying about desperation and attracting women.
  • #1
heman
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Any way to approach her!

Guys i have a beautiful GND!(Girl Next Door!)
She is tall and very attractive! :smile:
The point is i have started liking her and she is about 5 years elder to me!
Well the problem is there are already 4/5 guys who are after her and are just abt. her age! :cry:
Do i have any Chance to get her! :tongue2:
 
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  • #2
How well do you know her? Are you friends?
 
  • #3
heman said:
The point is i have started liking her and she is about 5 years elder to me!

Well the problem is there are already 4/5 guys who are after her and are just abt. her age!
Any way to approach her!

Yes - walk, don't run. :biggrin:


Actually, just introduce yourself and start communication with her. Simply let her know you are interested, and possibly suggest having lunch with her, or perhaps going for coffee, tea or whatever.

Don't crowd her.

Perhaps send her flowers (or whatever is equivalent local custom) at some point.

But remember, it is her prerogative to establish and develop a relationship.

You might also mention that there is an advantage to younger men. :biggrin:
 
  • #4
Astronuc said:
You might also mention that there is an advantage to younger men. :biggrin:

Don't start with this one though
:rofl: .
 
  • #5
recon said:
How well do you know her? Are you friends?

We normally do talking for 2-3 minutes whenever we meet!
She just smiles on whatever i say!
She never expresses her freely in front of me or rather i say kinda ignores me thinking that i am just a kid! :cry:
Well i am 19 and she is around 24!
She never gets interested in my talks but just keeps on smiling!
 
  • #6
how much cash do you have ? getting beautyful chick goes propotionally with money you have.
 
  • #7
Just start grabbing her at arbitrary places. And if she likes you she will do the same to you. If not, move on with your life and stop wasting time on her. Find another girl to harass instead. :tongue:
 
  • #8
I am still an student and Parents are the only source!

Well she is not that rich and she does a low paying job and she is not that mentally smart!
she has studied onlu upto 12th!
She is the first gal i am attracted to in my whole life just coz of his beautiful nature and smile!
 
  • #9
heman said:
We normally do talking for 2-3 minutes whenever we meet!
She just smiles on whatever i say!
She never expresses her freely in front of me or rather i say kinda ignores me thinking that i am just a kid! :cry:
Well i am 19 and she is around 24!
She never gets interested in my talks but just keeps on smiling!

God bless you in this war... :rofl: . You have the typical synthoms of love. We do know what you feel.

I do not agree with Astronuc's strategy. You have said she has 4-5 guys behind here all the time. My strategy would be: try to be the most handsome and kindest man on Earth each time you meet her, no matter how much short is the meeting. But do not show you desperated. She must sight the difference between you, that fantastic guy who talks with her for a short time, and those stupids who are always behind her. She must feel your absence as something negative. And she must see you as something which can be achieved with a bit of difficulty (not too difficult). If you begin to show her your love with flowers and this sort of things, she will be sighting your secret, and there will be no game further. Treat her as a friend, and invite her to lunch as a friend. And the most important thing: listen to her and her problems, no matter how stupid and simple they are :biggrin: .

Good luck, and feedback us with news!.
 
  • #10
heman said:
We normally do talking for 2-3 minutes whenever we meet!
She just smiles on whatever i say!
She never expresses her freely in front of me or rather i say kinda ignores me thinking that i am just a kid! :cry:
Well i am 19 and she is around 24!
She never gets interested in my talks but just keeps on smiling!
Agreeing with Clausius2's gentlemanly approach, it wouldn't be inappropriate to pay her compliments as well, by steering your conversation in such a manner that such compliments can be inserted naturally, rather than blurted out.
This will show her you're interested in her, and also that you are mature and sure of yourself, rather than some over-eager, desperate puppy 5 years her junior wagging his tail in front of her (oops, nasty image, that..:wink:).
 
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  • #11
arildno said:
Agreeing with Clausius2's gentlemanly approach, it wouldn't be inappropriate to pay her compliments as well, by steering your conversation in such a manner that such compliments can be inserted naturally, rather than blurted out.
This will show her you're interested in her, and also that you are mature and sure of yourself, rather than some over-eager, desperate puppy 5 years her junior wagging his tail in front of her (oops, nasty image, that..:wink:).

Agreed. To add something:

Take it as a War, Heman!. Develop an strategy, but show you natural when talking with her. I have a wonderful adage for these situations:

"In war times, every hole is a trench."
Clausius2, 2005.

Did you understand what I mean? :rofl:
 
  • #12
Clausius2 said:
"In war times, every hole is a trench."
Clausius2, 2005.

Did you understand what I mean? :rofl:
Sure; invite lots of soldiers with ready guns into your own trench; in war, buddies are very important.
Am I correct? :confused:
 
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  • #13
arildno said:
Sure; get as many soldiers with ready guns that you can handle into your own trench as soon as possible.
Am I correct? :confused:

Not quite. We and my friends usually refers to this sentence when we see an ugly gal. The "Hole" means what women have between legs. :rofl: We use this sentence when we are too desperated, when we are fishing women with dinamite. :rofl: :rofl:
 
  • #14
But you need a lot of buddies in war in order to survive, yes?
 
  • #15
Clausius2 said:
Agreed. To add something:

Take it as a War, Heman!. Develop an strategy, but show you natural when talking with her. I have a wonderful adage for these situations:

"In war times, every hole is a trench."
Clausius2, 2005.

Did you understand what I mean? :rofl:

Certainly i understand what it implies in battle Field :smile:
but in this case its sounds confusing!

Does it means that i should use any gal i find to make a path to enter into her heart,whether the gal is ugly,fat etc.etc. :confused:
 
  • #16
arildno said:
But you need a lot of buddies in war in order to survive, yes?


Well don't i have Danger from buddies?? :biggrin:

May be finally one of them grabs my aim! (the gal is too kewl to attract anyone! :!) )
 
  • #17
heman said:
May be finally one of them grabs my aim!
If so, don't shoot too quick.
 
  • #18
WEll Heman, I read a bunch of them but I wish to rely on the words of a great modern day philospher: Ally McBeal: "Don't fall in love with someone you can't have".

You're too young for her. Just let it go, be friends with her and move on. :smile:

Now if you were her age or 1 or 2 or 3, or 4 years older than her then I'd say "hell yea you have a chance". Just act like a vulture on an electric power line: wait for her to go out with one of those guys, have a break-up, then swoop down for the kill". Oh yea, I know what's goin' on. :smile:

Edit: Wait a minute, vultures don't kill. Let me re-phrase it: "swoop down and pick at the pieces"
 
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  • #19
just ignore the other guys. if you've been talking to her for a while & you thik she gets along pretty well with you ask her out for coffee or something. if she goes for it, great; if she doesn't then **** it, find someone else. try the same thing with another girl.
 
  • #20
heman said:
Guys i have a beautiful GND!(Girl Next Door!)
She is tall and very attractive! :smile:
The point is i have started liking her and she is about 5 years elder to me!
Well the problem is there are already 4/5 guys who are after her and are just abt. her age! :cry:
Do i have any Chance to get her! :tongue2:

Of course... I do believe she likes u too... :!)
 
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  • #21
Its hopeless. Just act as a good neighbour to her, then she will act to you like that as well.
 
  • #22
saltydog said:
WEll Heman, I read a bunch of them but I wish to rely on the words of a great modern day philospher: Ally McBeal: "Don't fall in love with someone you can't have".

You're too young for her. Just let it go, be friends with her and move on. :smile:

Now if you were her age or 1 or 2 or 3, or 4 years older than her then I'd say "hell yea you have a chance". Just act like a vulture on an electric power line: wait for her to go out with one of those guys, have a break-up, then swoop down for the kill". Oh yea, I know what's goin' on. :smile:

Edit: Wait a minute, vultures don't kill. Let me re-phrase it: "swoop down and pick at the pieces"

Buddy but now the arrow has left the bow!
First time in my life i have developed feelings for anyone and they are very strong too!
what's the problem with she being 5 years elder to me,i don't get!
I am tall,muscular and i too look mature!
 
  • #23
well if there is a 5 year difference, and you are 15 and the guys are 20.. ah what the heck I'd just beat you up if i was 20 and eliminate the competition :biggrin:

but really, you have no chance.
 
  • #24
cronxeh said:
well if there is a 5 year difference, and you are 15 and the guys are 20.. ah what the heck I'd just beat you up if i was 20 and eliminate the competition :biggrin:

but really, you have no chance.


Gentleman ,the guys which are after her,i know them very well!Well i am physically more strong them (i am sure!)i am 19 not 15!

1 guy dates her now and then! :yuck:
 
  • #25
one most important thing which i forgot to mentioned is that i have no previous ideas of builiding the web for gal!

I saw the movie "Hitch" to learn something abt. the psychology of the girl!
 
  • #26
heman said:
Buddy but now the arrow has left the bow!
First time in my life i have developed feelings for anyone and they are very strong too!
what's the problem with she being 5 years elder to me,i don't get!
I am tall,muscular and i too look mature!

Heman . . . you're about my son's age. I'll be straight with you (but not as crude) as I am with him: in general, young women want men a few years older than them. This is simply because of maturity issues.

Relationships are exhausting and difficult to accomplish successfully. In general, not to say you, but in general, most men fail miserably. Most women, by the time they reach 25 are surperb at dating; most men, are not. Women know this very keenly and so they figure maybe, just a chance, but maybe if she dates one a few years older, there's less chance of him being a jerk.

Trust me. She'll be nice to you but not a girlfriend. Just let it go and look for a hottie closer to your age.
 
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  • #27
mathwizard said:
Just start grabbing her at arbitrary places. And if she likes you she will do the same to you. If not, move on with your life and stop wasting time on her. Find another girl to harass instead. :tongue:

Mathwizard, welcome.

I like the cut of your jib!
 
  • #28
saltydog said:
Heman . . . you're about my son's age. I'll be straight with you (but not as crude) as I am with him: in general, young women want men a few years older than them. This is simply because of maturity issues.

Relationships are exhausting and difficult to accomplish successfully. In general, not to say you, but in general, most men fail miserably. Most women, by the time they reach 25 are surperb at dating; most men, are not. Women know this very keenly and so they figure maybe, just a chance, but maybe if she dates one a few years older, there's less chance of him being a jerk.

Trust me. She'll be nice to you but not a girlfriend. Just let it go and look for a hottie closer to your age.


Thanks Saltydog and all other ppls for making the thing clear! :smile:
But no one is thinking abt feelings! :cry:
Well i know its wrong and illogical to approach her but how to remove the feelings and in my case they are very strong(i am very emotional person!)
This is happened with me first time and i believe this is haunting me! :frown:
 
  • #29
saltydog said:
Heman . . . you're about my son's age. I'll be straight with you (but not as crude) as I am with him: in general, young women want men a few years older than them. This is simply because of maturity issues.

Relationships are exhausting and difficult to accomplish successfully. In general, not to say you, but in general, most men fail miserably. Most women, by the time they reach 25 are surperb at dating; most men, are not. Women know this very keenly and so they figure maybe, just a chance, but maybe if she dates one a few years older, there's less chance of him being a jerk.

Trust me. She'll be nice to you but not a girlfriend. Just let it go and look for a hottie closer to your age.
Wow, this is actually very accurate.
But if you are mature and can show her this, you may have a chance. If you don't feel comfortable being open with her face-to-face, you can drop off a card at her house, maybe with flowers, just telling her that you think she's cool and saying something like "If you ever want to talk/grab some coffee/hang out/etc., you know where to find me/just let me know/I'm right next door/etc." She'll get the message loud and clear. :wink:
 
  • #30
heman said:
Thanks Saltydog and all other ppls for making the thing clear! :smile:
But no one is thinking abt feelings! :cry:
Well i know its wrong and illogical to approach her but how to remove the feelings and in my case they are very strong(i am very emotional person!)
This is happened with me first time and i believe this is haunting me! :frown:
If you want to move on, just move on. It usually gets better- and even goes away- with time.
 
  • #31
Ok heman if you really want the chick - you can get her.

The only problem is - this involves a lot of brain power and wisdom, some stable finance situation (and I don't mean you living in your parents basement and working for your uncle), and of course the good old classic 'great looks/body, good teeth, and a great sense of humor' -- well you get the idea. And if you are a tall guy (over 6') you score extra points. Extra points for colorful eyes (not brown or black).
 
  • #32
Now i am beginning to get Confused!
I am certainly upto her (physically!)and i do think my maturity level is comparable to her!
Well sometimes i talk too intelligently in front of her that she doesn't like !
I am cheerful,ofcourse can make her(or rather anybody)laugh at times!

Well i don't know what to talk in front of her to develop her interest in me,.i don't know how to make her open with me!she is not like others!she just smiles on whatever i say and i keep staring !
 
  • #33
honestrosewater said:
Wow, this is actually very accurate.
But if you are mature and can show her this, you may have a chance. If you don't feel comfortable being open with her face-to-face, you can drop off a card at her house, maybe with flowers, just telling her that you think she's cool and saying something like "If you ever want to talk/grab some coffee/hang out/etc., you know where to find me/just let me know/I'm right next door/etc." She'll get the message loud and clear. :wink:

I dont' think flowers would work. I suspect if he leaves flowers, the first thing that will come to her mind is, "oh Jesus, what am I going to do with him now?" She sees him as a kid. Sorry Heman. I'm being straight. I'm thinking beaches dude. Near any? Lots of chicks your age. Good shape right? Knock um' out. :smile:
 
  • #34
It looks to me that most of you guys don't seem to understand what i am trying to say!
Don't you guys understand "Love" or ever been in it!(i guess its not infatuation with me!)
Well what conquered me was her beautiful nature,her smile,her way of talking not her nice shaped figure!

I have been friends with lots of more beautiful gals than her but none of them was ever able to attract/distract me!
I can ignore her external beauty(not a big thing!) but she has entered into myself!
This love inside me doesn't sees her age/intelligence etc.etc,
I am strictly pointing to emotions and feelings!Dear Buddies,u need to enter more !
 
  • #35
saltydog said:
I dont' think flowers would work. I suspect if he leaves flowers, the first thing that will come to her mind is, "oh Jesus, what am I going to do with him now?"
So you agree that she would get the message. :biggrin: And that's the reason for the note saying that the ball's in her court. If she's not interested, you'll know by her response.
 

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